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The apostles' concern and humanity

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GRM 175.3-5 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

The people throng around the Master, forming a circle which does not want to open at any cost. But the sun has set and the Sabbath rest begins. The villages are far away. But the people do not pine for their villages, their food or anything else. But the apostles are worried about it and they tell Jesus. Also the elder disciples are worried. There are women and children, and while the night is mild and the grass of the meadow is soft, the stars are not bread. Neither do stones become food.

Jesus is the only one who does not trouble. The people in the meantime eat the remains of their food without any worry and Jesus points it out to His apostles: «I solemnly tell you that these people are worth more than you are! Look how thoughtlessly they are finishing everything. I said to them: “Those who cannot believe that God will provide food for His children tomorrow, may go away”, and they stayed. God will not belie His Messiah and will not disappoint those who hope in Him.»

The apostles shrug their shoulders and do not show concern for anything else.

It is nightfall after a placid, beautiful red sunset and the silence of the country spreads over everything after the last choir of birds. There is a light whispering of the wind and then the first mute flight of a night bird, the first star appears and a frog croaks.

The children are already asleep. The adults are talking among themselves and now and again someone goes to the Master asking for clarification of some point or other.

175.4

So no one is surprised when a person, imposing by look, garments and age, is seen coming from a path between two corn fields. Some men are following him. Everybody turns around to look at him and they point him out to one another whispering. The whispering spreads from one group to another, it revives and fades away. The groups that are farther away come near drawn by curiosity.

The noble looking man reaches Jesus, Who is sitting at the foot of a tree listening to some men, and bows down before Him. Jesus stands up at once and responds with equal respect to the greeting. The people present are watching attentively.

«I was up on the mountain and perhaps You thought that I did not have faith as I went away for fear of having to fast. But I went away for another reason. I wanted to be a brother among brothers, the eldest brother. I would like to speak to You aside. Can You listen to me? Although a scribe, I am not Your enemy.»

«Let us move away a little…» and they go into the corn field.

«I wanted to provide some food for the pilgrims and I came down to tell the baker to bake bread for a large crowd. You can see that I am at a legal distance, because these fields belong to me, and it is lawful to walk from here to the top on a Sabbath. It was my intention to come up tomorrow with my servants. But I found out that You are here with the crowd. I beg You to allow me to provide for the Sabbath. Otherwise I would be very sorry that I had to forego Your words for nothing.»

«For nothing, no, never, because the Father would have compensated you with His light. But I thank you and will not disappoint you. I only wish to point out that the crowd is very large.»

«I asked them to heat all the ovens, also the ones used to dry foodstuffs and I will succeed in having bread for everybody.»

«I did not mean that. I was referring to the quantity of bread…»

«That does not trouble me. Last year I had a good crop of corn. You have seen what the ears of corn are like this year. Let me do it. It will be the greatest protection for my fields. After all, Master… You gave me such bread today… You really are the Bread of the spirit!…»

«Let it be done as you wish. Let us go and tell the pilgrims.»

«No. You said so.»

«Are you a scribe?»

«Yes, I am.»

«May the Lord take you where your heart deserves.»

«I understand what You mean but do not say, You mean: to the Truth. Because great are our errors… and our ill-will.»

«Who are you?»

«A son of God. Pray the Father for me. Goodbye.»

«Peace be with you.»

175.5

Jesus goes slowly back to His apostles while the man goes away with his servants.

«Who was he? What did he want? Did he say something unpleasant to You? Has he sick people?» Jesus is flooded with questions.

«I do not know who he is. Or rather, I know that he is goodhearted and that…»

«He is John, the scribe» says one of the crowd.

«Well, I know now, because you said so. He only wanted to be the servant of God with His children. Pray for him because tomorrow we shall all have food, thanks to his goodness.»

«He is really a just man» says one.

«Yes, indeed. I do not know how he can be the friend of others» remarks another one.

«He is swathed in scruples and rules like a baby, but he is not a bad man» concludes a third one.

«Do these fields belong to him?» ask many who are not from this part of the country.

«Yes, they do. I think that the leper was one of his servants or peasants. But he allowed him to stay around here and I think that he also fed him.»

The comments continue but Jesus does not pay attention to them. He calls the Twelve near Him and asks them: «And what should I say now with regards to your incredulity? Did the Father not put bread for all of us into the hands of one who, by caste, is an enemy of Mine? Oh! men of little faith!… Go into the soft hay and sleep. I am going to pray the Father that He may open your hearts and to thank Him for His kindness. Peace be with you.»

And He goes to the lower slopes of the mountain. He sits down and collects His thoughts in prayer. When He raises His eyes He sees the myriad of stars crowding the sky, when He lowers them. He sees the crowd of people sleeping on the meadows. Nothing else. But such is the joy in His heart that His face seems to become transfigured by a bright light…

Detail

Jesus has come down from the Mount of Beatitudes and a crowd is following him. The apostles are worried about how to feed them. This chapter shows a practical case of trusting in Providence and in the goodness of the Father.

Annotation

Meanwhile, the sun has gone down. This is the beginning of Sabbatical rest. Sabbatical rest begins at 6 p.m. on Friday. From the horns of Hattin to the plain, they covered 5 to 6km, or about an hour and a half's walk. We determined in the previous chapter that they left at around 3.00 pm / 3.30 pm. So it's about 5 p.m.

I said to them: "Let those who cannot believe that tomorrow God will give food to his children, withdraw", and they stayed. God will not deny his Messiah or disappoint those who hope in him." Cf. previous chapter. Maria Valtorta even notes that only about fifty people left at the time.

I am not hostile to you, even though I am a scribe. Scribes who are not hostile to Jesus are rare. Of the 24 members of this college, only 5 were secretly in favor of Jesus. The other 19 were overwhelmingly hostile or indifferent.

You see I'm in the legal space because these fields belong to me, and from here to the top it's a path you can make on the Sabbath. So they're right at the entrance to the plain, about 1 km from the summit of Arbel. The practical rules for applying the Sabbath distance were, and remain, complex. However, the basic condition, laid down in Solomon's time, remains the prohibition on moving more than 2,000 cubits (around 900 meters) from the limits of one's property or a town. As Maria Valtorta points out, the summit is the last acceptable limit for the scribe.

GRM 180.7-10 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

«Have you understood? Have you any questions to ask? No? In that case we can go and rest and tomorrow we will leave for Capernaum. There is one place to which I must go before starting on My journey to Jerusalem for Passover.»

«Shall we go through Arimathea again?» asks the Iscariot.

«I am not sure. It depends on…»

There is a loud knocking at the door.

«Who can it be at this time?» asks Peter getting up to open the door.

John comes in. He is most upset, covered in dust, and he has obviously been weeping.

«You are here!» they all shout. «What’s the matter?»

Jesus, Who has stood up, says only: «Where is My Mother?»

And John, coming forward and kneeling at the feet of the Master, holding his arms as if he were asking for help, says: «Your Mother is well, but She is weeping as I am, as many others are, and She begs You not to come following the Jordan on our side. That is why She sent me back, because Your cousin John has been captured…» And John weeps while everybody is bewildered.

Jesus turns very pale but does not become excited. He only says:

«Stand up and tell us.»

«I was going down with Your Mother and the other women. Isaac and Timoneus were also with us. We were three women and three men. I was carrying out Your instruction to take Mary to John… Ah! You knew it was their last farewell!… It was to be their last farewell… Because of the storm of a few days ago, we had to stop for a little while. But it was enough to make it impossible for John to see Mary… We arrived at noon and he had been captured at daybreak…»

«Where? How? By whom? In his cave?» they all ask, they all want to know.

«He was betrayed!… They used Your name to betray him!» «How horrible! Who did that?» they all shout.

And John shuddering, whispering in a low voice what not even the air should hear, states: «It was one of his disciples…»

The confusion is at its highest pitch. Some curse, some weep, some are petrified with astonishment.

180.8

John throws his arms around Jesus’ neck and shouts: «I am afraid for You!… for You! The saints have their traitors who sell themselves for gold and for fear of the mighty ones, yearning for reward, obeying Satan. For thousands of things! Oh! Jesus! Jesus! How dreadful! My first master! My John who gave me to You!»

«It is all right! Do not worry! Nothing will happen to Me for the time being.»

«But later? What will happen later? I look at myself, at these… I am afraid of everybody, also of myself. Will one of us be Your traitor?…»

«Are you mad? And do you think that we would not tear him to pieces?» shouts Peter.

And the Iscariot: «Oh! You really are mad! It will never be I! But if I should feel so weak as to eventually become so, I would kill myself. Better than be the murderer of God.»

Jesus frees Himself from John’s grip, shakes Judas violently saying: «Do not swear! Nothing can make you weak, unless you want! And if that should happen, make sure you weep for it, and do not commit another crime in addition to deicide. He becomes weak who cuts off his vital link with God.»

180.9

He then returns to John, who is weeping with his head on the table and he says: «Speak calmly. It grieves Me, too. He was of My blood and was My Precursor.»

«I only saw some of the disciples, who were dismayed and furious with the traitor. The others accompanied John towards his prison to be near him at his death.»

«But he is not dead yet… the last time he managed to escape.» says the Zealot endeavouring to comfort John of whom he is very fond.

«He is not dead yet. But he will die» replies John.

«Yes, he will die. He knows as well as I do. Nothing and no one will save him this time. When? I do not know. I know that he will not come out of Herod’s hand alive.»

«Yes, Herod. Listen. John went to the mountain gorge, between Mount Ebal and Gerizim, where we also passed coming back from Galilee, because the traitor said to him: “The Messiah is dying after being attacked by His enemies. He wants to see you to entrust a secret to you”. And he went with the traitor and some other people. Herod’s armed men were in the shade of the valley and they captured him. The others ran away and gave the news to the disciples who had remained near Hennon. They had just come when I arrived with Your Mother. And the dreadful thing is that he was one from our towns… and that the Pharisees of Capernaum are the leaders of the plot to catch him. They went to John saying that You had been their guest and that You were leaving from there to go to Judaea… he would not have left his refuge but for You…»

180.10

Dead silence follows John’s report. Jesus looks bloodless, His deep blue eyes are dimmed. He is standing with his head bowed, His hand still on John’s shoulder, and His hand is trembling lightly. No one dare speak. Jesus breaks the silence: «We shall go to Judaea following a different route. But I must go to Capernaum tomorrow. As early as possible. Rest now. I am going up to the olive-grove. I need to be alone.» And He goes out without saying anything else.

«He is certainly going to weep» whispers James of Alphaeus.

«Let us follow Him, brother» says Judas Thaddeus.

«No. Let Him weep. But let us go out quietly and keep watch. I fear tricks everywhere» replies the Zealot.

«Yes, let us go. We fishermen to the shore. If anybody comes from the lake we will see him. You go to the olive-grove. He is certainly in the usual place, near the walnut-tree. At dawn we will have the boats ready to go away early. Those snakes! Ehi! I did tell you! Tell me, boy? But… is His Mother really safe?»

«Oh! Yes! The shepherd disciples of John have also gone with Her. Andrew… we will never see our John again!»

«Be quiet! It sounds like the song of the cuckoo… One precedes the other and… and…»

«By the Holy Ark! Be quiet! If you go on talking about misfortunes to the Master, I will start from you, letting your backs feel the weight of my oar!» shouts an enraged Peter. «You…» he then says to those who are to go to the olive-grove: «Get some clubs, some big branches, you will find some in the wood-shed… and spread out, armed with them. The first one to come near Jesus to harm Him, kill him.»

«The disciples! We must be careful with the new ones!» exclaims Philip.

The new disciple feels hurt and asks: «Are you in doubt about me? He chose me and wanted me.»

«Not about you. I mean the scribes and Pharisees and their worshippers. That is where the trouble will come from, believe me.»

They go out, some towards the boats, some towards the olive-trees on the hills, and it all ends.

Detail

In the previous chapters, John of Zebedee had to accompany the Virgin to Hennon to see John.

Annotation

"Your Mother is doing well, but she is in tears like me, like many people, and she begs you not to come along the Jordan on our side." (...) " We will go to Judea by another way." Jesus confirms in EMV 187.3 that he respects his mother's wish, and speaks to Mary about it again in EMV 198.1/2.

We arrived at the sixth hour, and he had been captured at the crowing of the cock... Gallicinium, "the crowing of the cock", corresponded to the last watch: from 3am to 6am.

"By one of his disciples..." This fact, which doesn't seem to be mentioned in any tradition, indicates that The Forerunner was also betrayed by one of his own.

I will never betray. But if I felt weak enough to do so, I'd kill myself. It's better than being God's murderer. This is the germ of the idea of suicide, which Judas will put into practice after his betrayal (EMV 605.1/13).

Yes, he will die. He knows it, as I know it. In fact, Jesus had not hidden this from John himself, when he visited him (EMV 148.2). The Baptist's death is announced in EMV 270.7.

He went to the same gorge we passed through on our way back to Galilee. It was during the encounter with the Samaritan woman Fotinai in EMV 143.4.

The Pharisees of Capernaum who are at the head of the plot to capture him. This plot was probably organized by Joachim and Elijah of Capernaum (see EMV 182.1).

He would not have left his refuge for anyone but you ... Enon (or Hennon), on the border of Decapolis and Samaria, was outside Herod's jurisdiction. John was safe there.

GRM 185.1-6 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

185.1 Now that everybody is asleep I am telling you my joy. I «saw» today’s Gospel. Mind you, this morning when I read it, I said to myself: «This is an episode of the Gospel which I will never see, because it is not very suitable for a vision.» Instead, when I was not thinking about it, it came to fill me with joy.

185.2 This is what I saw.

A sailing boat, not excessively large, nor very small, a fishing boat, on which five or six people can move comfortably, is ploughing the water of the beautiful deep blue lake of Gennesaret.

Jesus is sleeping in the stern. He is dressed in white as usual. He is resting His head on His left arm and under His arm and head He has placed His blue-grey mantle, which has been folded many times. He is sitting, not lying, on the bottom of the boat and His head is resting on the board that is at the very end of the stern. I do not know how sailors call it. He is sleeping peacefully. He is tired. He is placid.

Peter is at the rudder. Andrew is busy with the sails, John and two more people – I do not know who they are – are sorting out the ropes and nets at the bottom of the boat, as if they were preparing for a catch during the night. I would say that the day is drawing to its end because the sun is already setting in the west. All the disciples have pulled their tunics up, gathering them around their waists by means of belts, in order to be free in their movements, passing from one part of the boat to another, stepping over oars, seats, baskets and nets, without being hindered by their clothes. None of them is wearing a mantle.

185.3 I see that the sky is clouding over and the sun is hiding behind huge storm clouds, which have suddenly appeared from behind the top of a hill. The wind blows them fast towards the lake. The wind, for the time being, is high up, and the lake is still quiet, it is only becoming darker and its surface is no longer perfectly smooth. There are no waves as yet, but the water is beginning to ruffle.

Peter and Andrew watch the sky and the lake and are preparing to draw close to the shore. But the wind suddenly rages over the lake that in a few minutes surges foaming. The swelling waves clash one against the other, they strike the little boat, lifting it up, lowering it down, tossing it in all directions, thus preventing all manoeuvres of the rudder as the wind prevents manoeuvring the sail, which has to be lowered.

Jesus is sleeping. Neither the steps and excited voices of the disciples, nor the howling wind, nor the waves pounding on the sides of the boat and its prow, awake Him. His hair is blowing in the wind and drops of water reach Him. But He is sleeping. John runs from stern to stern and covers Him with his mantle, which he has taken from below a board. He covers Him with delicate love.

The storm rages more and more furiously. The lake is as black as if ink had been poured into it and is streaked by the foam of the waves. The boat lets in water and is driven farther and farther to the open sea by the wind. The disciples are perspiring in their efforts to manoeuvre the boat and baling out the water which the waves pour in. But to no avail. They are paddling in the water that reaches up to their knees and the boat is becoming heavier and heavier.

185.4 Peter loses his calm and patience. He hands the rudder over to his brother, staggers towards Jesus and shakes Him vigorously.

Jesus wakes up and raises His head.

«Save us, Master, we are going down!» Peter shouts to Him (he must shout to make himself heard).

Jesus stares at His disciple, looks at the others and then at the lake. «Do you believe that I can save you?»

«Quick, Master» shouts Peter, while a real mountain of water moves fast from the centre of the lake towards the poor little boat. It is so high and dreadful that it looks like a water spout. The disciples who see it coming kneel down and hang onto whatever they can, certain that it is the end.

Jesus gets up. He stands on the stern board: a white figure against the livid storm. He stretches His arms out towards the billow and says to the wind: «Stop and be quiet» and to the water: «Calm down. I want it.» And the billow dissolves into foam, which falls harmlessly with a last roar, which fades into a whisper, while the wind dies down changing into a whistle and then a sigh. And the sky becomes clear once again over the appeased lake, while hope and faith fill the hearts of the disciples.

I cannot describe Jesus’ majesty. One must see it to understand it. And I enjoy it internally because it is still present in my mind and I think of how placid was Jesus’ sleep and how imperious was His command to the winds and the waves.

185.5 Jesus then says:

«I will not expound the Gospel in the same way as everybody else does. I will illustrate the circumstances preceding the Gospel passage.

Why was I sleeping? Did I perhaps not know that there was going to be a storm? Yes, I knew. Only I knew. Why was I sleeping, then?

The apostles were men, Mary. They were full of goodwill, but still very much “men”. Man thinks he is always capable of everything. When he is really capable of doing something he is full of haughtiness and attachment to his “ability”. Peter, Andrew, James and John were good fishermen and consequently they thought they were unexcelled in handling a boat. As far as they were concerned I was a great “Rabbi”, but a mere nothing as a sailor. Thus they thought I was unable to help them, and when on the boat to cross the Sea of Galilee, they begged Me to sit down because I was not capable of doing anything else. Also their love for Me was behind their attitude, as they did not want Me to do any material work. But their attachment to their own ability was greater than their love.

I do not impose Myself, Mary, except in exceptional cases. I generally leave you free and wait. On that day, tired as I was and being requested to rest, that is to let them act, clever as they were, I went to sleep. My sleep also included the ascertainment of how man is “man” and wants to do things by himself without feeling that God asks but to help him. I saw in those “spiritual deaf men”, in those “spiritual blind men”, all the spiritual deaf and blind people, who throughout centuries would ruin themselves, because “they wanted to do by themselves”, although I was bent over their needs awaiting to be asked to help them.

When Peter shouted: “Save us!”, My bitterness dropped like a stone. I am not “man”, I am the God-Man. I do not behave as you do. When someone rejects your advice or your help, and you see him in trouble, even if you are not so bad as to rejoice at it, you are uncharitable enough to look at him disdainfully and indifferently, without being moved by his shouts for help. Your attitude means: “When I wanted to help you, you did not want me? Well, help yourself now”. But I am Jesus. I am the Saviour. And I save, Mary. I always save as soon as I am asked to.

185.6 The poor men might object: “In that case, why do You allow single or collective storms to break out?”. If by My power I should destroy Evil, you would consider yourselves the authors of Good, which in actual fact is a gift of Mine, and you would not remember Me any longer, You would never remember Me. My poor children, you are in need of sorrow to remember that you have a Father. As the prodigal son remembered he had a father when he was hungry.

Misfortunes convince you of your nothingness, of your ignorance, which is the cause of so many errors, of your wickedness, the cause of so much mourning and grief, of your faults, the cause of the punishments which you inflict upon yourselves, as well as of My existence, of My power and of My goodness.

That is what today’s Gospel teaches you. “Your” Gospel of the present time, my poor children. Call Me. Jesus does not sleep except when He is in anguish because He sees that He is not loved by you. Call Me and I will come.»

Annotation

Now that everyone's asleep, I'd like to share my joy with you. I've "seen" today's Gospel. Maria Valtorta's daily catecheses, recorded in the "Cahiers" series, began in April 1943, but the Gospel visions didn't really start until January 1944. So this is one of the very first visions. The visions are not in chronological order.

Jesus is asleep at the stern. At the stern of the boat.

Jesus rises, standing on the table in the bow. His white face stands out against the livid storm. He stretches out his arms toward the waves and says to the wind, "Stop and be quiet," and to the water, "Calm down. I want you to." According to M.L. a reader, this episode of the calmed storm is to be compared with Psalm 106 (Hebrew 107), 23-30. This connection must have been present, after the fact, in the minds of the apostles who, like their contemporaries, knew the Psalms by heart. It also sheds additional light on Jesus' comments to Maria Valtorta.

Gospel of Matthew 8, 23-27

Mt 8, 23-27 : As Jesus got into the boat, his disciples followed him. And behold, the sea became so rough that the boat was covered by the waves. But he was asleep. The disciples went to him and woke him up, saying, "Lord, save us! We are lost." But he said to them, "Why are you so fearful, men of little faith?" Then Jesus stood up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. The people were amazed, saying, "Who is this that even the winds and the sea obey him?"

Gospel of Mark 4, 37-41

Mk 4, 37-41 : A violent storm came up. The waves were crashing against the boat, so that it was already filling up. He was asleep on the cushion at the stern. The disciples woke him up and said, "Master, we're lost; don't you care?" Awakened, he threatened the wind and said to the sea, "Silence, be quiet!" The wind died down, and there was a great calm. Jesus said to them: "Why are you so fearful? Have you not yet faith?" Seized with great fear, they said to one another, "Who is this that even the wind and the sea obey him?"

Gospel of Luke 8, 23-25

Lk 8, 23-25 : While they were sailing, Jesus fell asleep. A storm came up on the lake. They were submerged and in great peril. The disciples went to him and woke him up, saying, "Master, master! We're lost!" And he, awakening, threatened the wind and the turbulent waves. They calmed down, and calm was restored. Then Jesus said to them, "Where is your faith?" Filled with fear, they were astonished and said to one another, "Who is this that he even commands the winds and waves, and they obey him?"

GRM 186.2 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

Jesus begins to ascend a steep path which climbs the almost upright cliff. The apostles follow Him along a very hard path up to the top of the cliff which levels over to a tableland strewn with oak-trees under which there are many pigs pasturing.

«Stinking animals!» exclaims Bartholomew. «They prevent us from passing…»

«No, they do not. There is room for everybody» replies Jesus calmly.

In any case the swineherds, when they see the Israelites, endeavour to gather the pigs under the oak-trees, leaving the path free. And the apostles pass by, making endless grimaces, among the filth left by the grouting animals, which fat as they are, seem anxious to become even fatter.

Jesus passes without any fuss, saying to the swineherds: «May God reward you for your kindness.»

The swineherds, poor people not much cleaner than their pigs but infinitely thinner, look at Him amazed and then whisper to one another. One of them says: «Is He perhaps not an Israelite?» And the others reply to him: «Don’t you see that His tunic is fringed?»

The group of the apostles gather together, now that they can proceed in one group along a fairly wide path.

GRM 187.1-3 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

Jesus dismisses the boats saying: «I am not coming back» and followed by His apostles, and across the area which appeared to be very fertile also from the opposite shore, He turns His steps towards a mountain, which appears towards the south-west.

The apostles are walking in silence, communicating with one another only by casting glances. In fact they are not enthusiastic for the journey across this beautiful but wild area, which is full of bog grass that gets entangled with their feet; of reeds that cause drizzle of dew to fall on their heads from the edges of the leaves; of hazels that strike their faces with the hard canes of their dry fruit; of willow trees the fragile branches of which hang down everywhere tickling them; of treacherous patches of grass that seems to be growing on solid ground, whereas it conceals puddles of water into which their feet sink, they are in fact patches of foxtails and tares, growing in tiny pools and so thick as to conceal the element in which they have come up.

Jesus, instead, seems to be extremely happy in the midst of all that greenery and the thousand hues of all the flowers, which creep on the ground, or stand upright, or cling to other plants to climb up, forming thin festoons strewn with light convolvuli of a very delicate mallow pink, or forming delicate blue carpets for the thousand corollas of water myosotises, which open the perfect cups of white, pink, blue corollas among the large flat

leaves of the water lilies. Jesus admires the tufts of the water reeds, as soft as silk and pearled with dew, and He bends joyfully to watch the delicate features of foxtails, which lay an emerald veil on the water. He stops ecstatically in front of the nests which the birds are building, flying happily to and fro, trilling, darting from branch to branch, working joyfully, with their beaks full of wisps of hay, of down of reeds, of flocks of wool picked on hedges, which had torn it from migrating sheep… He seems the happiest person in the world. Where is the world with its wickedness, falsehood, sorrows, snares? The world is beyond this green flowery oasis, where everything scents, shines, smiles, sings. This is the earth created by the Father and not desecrated by man and man can be forgotten here.

187.2

He wants to share His happiness with the others. But He does not find a favourable ground. The hearts of the apostles are tired and embittered by so much ill-will and they react against things and also against the Master by means of a stubborn silence, which is like the stillness of the air before a storm. Only His cousin James, the Zealot and John take an interest in what interests Jesus. All the others are… absent, if not hostile. Perhaps they are keeping quiet, not to grumble. But inside they must be speaking, and speaking too much.

It is a more lively exclamation of admiration before the living jewel of a kingfisher which flies down, taking a little silver fish to its mate, that makes them open their mouths.

Jesus says: «Can there be anything more gentle?»

Peter replies: «Perhaps not more gentle… but I can assure You that a boat is more comfortable. Here it is damp just the same, but we are not comfortable…»

«I would prefer the track for caravans to this… garden, if You wish to call it so, and I am in full agreement with Simon» says the Iscariot.

«It was you who did not want the caravan route» replies Jesus.

«Ehi! certainly… But I would not have given in to the Gherghesenes. I would have gone away from there, but I would have continued beyond the river to Gadara, Pella and down to the south» grumbles Bartholomew.

And his great friend Philip concludes: «The roads belong to everybody, after all, and we could have passed through them well.»

«My friends! I am so anguished and disgusted… Do not increase My grief with your pettiness! Let Me seek some comfort in things which do not know how to hate…»

The reproach, kind in its sadness, moves the apostles.

«You are right, Master. We are not worthy of You. Forgive our foolishness. You can see the beautiful, because You are holy You look with the eyes of Your heart. We are coarse flesh and can only perceive coarse flesh… But never mind. Believe me, even if we were in paradise, we would be sad without You. But with You… oh! it is always beautiful for our hearts. It is only our limbs that refuse» many of them whisper.

187.3

«We will soon be going out of here and will find a more comfortable ground, even if not so cool» promises Jesus.

«Where are we going exactly?» asks Peter.

«To give Passover to those who suffer. I have been wanting to do it for a long time. But I could not. I would have done it going back to Galilee. Now that they compel us to go along roads that we have not chosen, I am going to bless Jonah’s poor friends.»

«We will be wasting a lot of time! Passover is near! There are always delays for various reasons.» Another chorus of complaints rises to the sky. I do not know how Jesus can be so patient…

Without reproaching anyone He says: «Please, do not hinder Me! Endeavour to understand My need to love and to be loved. I have but this solace on the earth: to love and do the will of God.»

«And are we going from here? Was it not better to go from Nazareth?»

«If I had suggested that, you would have rebelled. No one will suspect that I am here… and I am doing it for you… because you are afraid.»

«Afraid? Ah! No! We are ready to fight for You.»

«Pray the Lord not to put you to the test. I know that you are quarrelsome, resentful, anxious to offend those who offend Me and to humble your neighbour. I know all that. But I do not know you to be brave. As far as I am concerned, I would have also gone by Myself and along the main road and nothing would have happened because it is not yet the time. But I feel sorry for you. I have to obey My Mother, yes, but I do not want to upset Simon the Pharisee. I will not disgust them. But they will disgust Me.»

«And where do we go from here? I am not familiar with this area» says Thomas.

«We will reach Tabor, we will coast part of it and will go to Nain via Endor; from there to the plain of Esdraelon. Be not afraid!… Doras, the son of Doras, and Johanan are already in Jerusalem.»