Who are the apostles?

« I was rich and powerful. If God had not decided to preserve me for a purpose of His, I would have surrendered myself to despair and perished when I was persecuted and a leper. I would have acted harshly against myself… Instead a new wealth, which I had never possessed before, descended upon my desolation: the wealth of a conviction: “God exists”. First… God… Yes, I believed, I was a faithful Israelite. But mine was a faith of formalism. And I thought that the reward of my faith was always inferior to my virtue. I took the liberty of debating with God because I felt that I was still something on the earth. Simon Peter is right. I, too, was building a tower of Babel[1] by praising myself and satisfying my ego. When everything collapsed around me and I was like a worm crushed by the weight of all this human futility, then I no longer debated with God, but with myself, with my stupid self and I ended up by demolishing it. And as I did so, by making room for what I think is the God immanent in our earthly beings, I gained a new strength and wealth: the certainty that I was not alone and that God was watching over man defeated by men and by evil.»

«According to you, what is God, “the God immanent in our earthly beings” as you said? What do you mean? I do not understand you and I think it is a heresy. God is the One we know through the Law and the Prophets. There is no other God» says rather sternly Judas of Kerioth.

«If John was here he would tell you better than I can. But I will tell you as best I can. God is the One we know through the Law and the Prophets. That is true. But in what do we know Him? And how?»

Judas of Alphaeus exclaims: «Little and badly. The Prophets, who described Him for us, knew Him. The idea we have is a muddled one, as we can just see through a mound of explanations piled up by sects…»

«Sects? What do you mean? We have no sects. We are the children of the Law. We all are» the angry aggressive Iscariot says.

«The children of the laws. Not of the Law. There is a slight difference. Plural, not singular. In actual fact, we are the children of what we created, no longer of what God gave us» retorts Thaddeus.

«The laws derive from the Law» says the Iscariot.

«Also diseases originate in our bodies, but that does not mean that they are good» replies Thaddeus.

«But let me hear what this immanent God of Simon Zealot is.» The Iscariot, who cannot argue against the remark of Judas of Alphaeus, endeavours to take the discussion back to where it started.

180.3

Simon Zealot says: «Our senses need a term to catch an idea. Each of us, I am referring to us believers, believes, by the virtue of faith, in the Most High Lord and Creator, Eternal God, Who is in Heaven. But every being needs more than such bare, pure, incorporeal faith, which is fit and sufficient for the angels who see and love God spiritually, as they share with Him a spiritual nature and can see God. We have to create a “picture” of God for ourselves, which picture is made with the essential features that we ascribe to God, to give a name to His infinite absolute perfection. The more a soul concentrates, the more it succeeds in achieving an exact knowledge of God. That is what I say: the immanent God. I am not a philosopher. Perhaps I have applied the word wrongly. In short, I think that the immanent God is to feel, to perceive God in our spirits, to feel and perceive Him no longer as an abstract idea, but as a real presence, bestowing strength and a new peace upon us.»

«All right. But, to sum up, how did you feel Him? What is the difference between feeling by faith and feeling by immanence?» asks the Iscariot somewhat ironically.

«God is safety, boy. When you perceive Him, as Simon says, by means of that word, which I do not understand literally, but I understand its spirit — and believe me, the trouble is that we understand only literally and we do not understand the spirit of God’s words — it means that you are able to grasp the idea of the terrible majesty, but also of the most sweet paternity of God. It means that, should all the world judge and condemn you unjustly, you would feel that One only, He, the Eternal One, Who is your Father, does not judge you, but absolves and comforts you. It means that if all the world should hate you, you would feel over you a love greater than any this world can offer. It means that if you were isolated in jail or in a desert you would always hear One speak to you and say: “Be holy, that you may be like your Father”. It means that for the true love for this Father and God, Whom at last you perceive as such, you accept, work, take and leave without any human consideration, as you are concerned only to return love for love and to copy God as much as possible in your actions» says Peter.

«You are proud! To copy God! You are not entitled to» declares the Iscariot.

«It is not pride. Love leads to obedience. To copy God seems to me a form of obedience because God said that He made us in His own image and likeness» replies Peter.

«He made us. We must not go higher up.»

«You are a poor wretch, my boy, if that is what you think! You are forgetting that we fell and that God wants to take us back to what we were.»

180.4

Jesus begins to speak: «Even more, Peter, Judas and you all. Even more than that. Adam’s perfection was still susceptible of improvement through love, which would have made him a more precise image of his Creator. Adam without the stain of sin would have been a most shining mirror of God. That is why I say: “Be perfect as your Father Who is in Heaven is perfect”. Like your Father. Therefore like God. Peter is quite right. And so is Simon. I ask you to remember their words and apply them to your souls.»

Peter’s wife almost faints from joy on hearing her husband being praised thus. She weeps behind her veil: she is quiet but happy.

Peter blushes so much that he seems to be having a stroke of apoplexy.

• Faith
• Judas de Kérioth (apostle)
• Peter and Judas
• Simon the Zealot (apostle)
• Simon the Zealot and Judas
• Simon-Pierre - Simon de Jonas (apostle)

If John was here he would tell you better than I can. But I will tell you as best I can.

• John of Zebedee (apostle)

And here are the fields full of stones. How many there are in Israel! They are the ones that belong to the “children of the laws” as My cousin Judas quite rightly said. In them there is not the one Stone of Witness, nor the Stone of the Law. There is the quarry poor petty human laws made by men. They are so many that with their weight they have broken also the Stone of the Law into chips. A disaster which does not allow the seed to take root. The root is no longer nourished because there is neither soil nor sap. The water stagnating on the stone pavement causes the seed to rot, the sun makes the stones hot and parches the little plants. Such are the spirits of those who put complicated human doctrines in place of the simple doctrine of God. They even receive My word with joy. At first it shakes and allures them. But later… They would need to be heroes and work hard to clean the field, their souls and minds of all rhetorical stones. The seed would then take root and bear long spikes. As it is… it bears nothing. The fear of human retaliation is enough. It is enough to say: “And after? What will the mighty ones do to me?” and the poor seed languishes without nourishment. It is enough for the whole quarry to stir with the vain sound of the hundreds of precepts, which have been put in place of the Precept, that man perishes with the seed received.. Israel is full of them. That explains why the coming to God is in inverse ratio to human power.

• Anxiety - Fear - Fearfulness
• Cornerstone
• Doctrine
• Heresies and doctrinal errors
• Heroism
• Humanity of men
• Israel's mistake - The Jews' mistake
• Jude of Alphée (apostle)
• Power
• The powerful man
• Word of God - Law of God

«Have you understood? Have you any questions to ask? No? In that case we can go and rest and tomorrow we will leave for Capernaum. There is one place to which I must go before starting on My journey to Jerusalem for Passover.»

«Shall we go through Arimathea again?» asks the Iscariot.

«I am not sure. It depends on…»

There is a loud knocking at the door.

«Who can it be at this time?» asks Peter getting up to open the door.

John comes in. He is most upset, covered in dust, and he has obviously been weeping.

«You are here!» they all shout. «What’s the matter?»

Jesus, Who has stood up, says only: «Where is My Mother?»

And John, coming forward and kneeling at the feet of the Master, holding his arms as if he were asking for help, says: «Your Mother is well, but She is weeping as I am, as many others are, and She begs You not to come following the Jordan on our side. That is why She sent me back, because Your cousin John has been captured…» And John weeps while everybody is bewildered.

Jesus turns very pale but does not become excited. He only says:

«Stand up and tell us.»

«I was going down with Your Mother and the other women. Isaac and Timoneus were also with us. We were three women and three men. I was carrying out Your instruction to take Mary to John… Ah! You knew it was their last farewell!… It was to be their last farewell… Because of the storm of a few days ago, we had to stop for a little while. But it was enough to make it impossible for John to see Mary… We arrived at noon and he had been captured at daybreak…»

«Where? How? By whom? In his cave?» they all ask, they all want to know.

«He was betrayed!… They used Your name to betray him!» «How horrible! Who did that?» they all shout.

And John shuddering, whispering in a low voice what not even the air should hear, states: «It was one of his disciples…»

The confusion is at its highest pitch. Some curse, some weep, some are petrified with astonishment.

180.8

John throws his arms around Jesus’ neck and shouts: «I am afraid for You!… for You! The saints have their traitors who sell themselves for gold and for fear of the mighty ones, yearning for reward, obeying Satan. For thousands of things! Oh! Jesus! Jesus! How dreadful! My first master! My John who gave me to You!»

«It is all right! Do not worry! Nothing will happen to Me for the time being.»

«But later? What will happen later? I look at myself, at these… I am afraid of everybody, also of myself. Will one of us be Your traitor?…»

«Are you mad? And do you think that we would not tear him to pieces?» shouts Peter.

And the Iscariot: «Oh! You really are mad! It will never be I! But if I should feel so weak as to eventually become so, I would kill myself. Better than be the murderer of God.»

Jesus frees Himself from John’s grip, shakes Judas violently saying: «Do not swear! Nothing can make you weak, unless you want! And if that should happen, make sure you weep for it, and do not commit another crime in addition to deicide. He becomes weak who cuts off his vital link with God.»

180.9

He then returns to John, who is weeping with his head on the table and he says: «Speak calmly. It grieves Me, too. He was of My blood and was My Precursor.»

«I only saw some of the disciples, who were dismayed and furious with the traitor. The others accompanied John towards his prison to be near him at his death.»

«But he is not dead yet… the last time he managed to escape.» says the Zealot endeavouring to comfort John of whom he is very fond.

«He is not dead yet. But he will die» replies John.

«Yes, he will die. He knows as well as I do. Nothing and no one will save him this time. When? I do not know. I know that he will not come out of Herod’s hand alive.»

«Yes, Herod. Listen. John went to the mountain gorge, between Mount Ebal and Gerizim, where we also passed coming back from Galilee, because the traitor said to him: “The Messiah is dying after being attacked by His enemies. He wants to see you to entrust a secret to you”. And he went with the traitor and some other people. Herod’s armed men were in the shade of the valley and they captured him. The others ran away and gave the news to the disciples who had remained near Hennon. They had just come when I arrived with Your Mother. And the dreadful thing is that he was one from our towns… and that the Pharisees of Capernaum are the leaders of the plot to catch him. They went to John saying that You had been their guest and that You were leaving from there to go to Judaea… he would not have left his refuge but for You…»

180.10

Dead silence follows John’s report. Jesus looks bloodless, His deep blue eyes are dimmed. He is standing with his head bowed, His hand still on John’s shoulder, and His hand is trembling lightly. No one dare speak. Jesus breaks the silence: «We shall go to Judaea following a different route. But I must go to Capernaum tomorrow. As early as possible. Rest now. I am going up to the olive-grove. I need to be alone.» And He goes out without saying anything else.

«He is certainly going to weep» whispers James of Alphaeus.

«Let us follow Him, brother» says Judas Thaddeus.

«No. Let Him weep. But let us go out quietly and keep watch. I fear tricks everywhere» replies the Zealot.

«Yes, let us go. We fishermen to the shore. If anybody comes from the lake we will see him. You go to the olive-grove. He is certainly in the usual place, near the walnut-tree. At dawn we will have the boats ready to go away early. Those snakes! Ehi! I did tell you! Tell me, boy? But… is His Mother really safe?»

«Oh! Yes! The shepherd disciples of John have also gone with Her. Andrew… we will never see our John again!»

«Be quiet! It sounds like the song of the cuckoo… One precedes the other and… and…»

«By the Holy Ark! Be quiet! If you go on talking about misfortunes to the Master, I will start from you, letting your backs feel the weight of my oar!» shouts an enraged Peter. «You…» he then says to those who are to go to the olive-grove: «Get some clubs, some big branches, you will find some in the wood-shed… and spread out, armed with them. The first one to come near Jesus to harm Him, kill him.»

«The disciples! We must be careful with the new ones!» exclaims Philip.

The new disciple feels hurt and asks: «Are you in doubt about me? He chose me and wanted me.»

«Not about you. I mean the scribes and Pharisees and their worshippers. That is where the trouble will come from, believe me.»

They go out, some towards the boats, some towards the olive-trees on the hills, and it all ends.

• André (apostle)
• Barthélémy - Nathanaël (apostle)
• Betrayal
• James of Alphaeus (apostle)
• James of Zebedee (apostle)
• Jean-Baptiste
• John of Zebedee (apostle)
• Judas de Kérioth (apostle)
• Jude of Alphée (apostle)
• Matthew (apostle)
• Philip (apostle)
• Simon the Zealot (apostle)
• Simon-Pierre - Simon de Jonas (apostle)
• The apostles' concern and humanity
• Thomas (apostle)
• Traitor - Treachery

« Tell me, boy? But… is His Mother really safe?»

«Oh! Yes! The shepherd disciples of John have also gone with Her.»

• John of Bethlehem (shepherd of the Nativity)
• Matthias (shepherd of the Nativity - formerly Tobias of Bethlehem)
• Simeon of Bethlehem (shepherd of the Nativity)
• The Virgin Mary

Une aube claire fait briller comme des perles les eaux du lac et enveloppe les collines d’une brume légère. A travers ce voile de mousseline, les oliviers et les noyers, les maisons et les villages, juchés sur les sommets arrondis qui environnent le lac, appa­raissent embellis. Les barques glissent tranquillement et sans bruit en direction de Capharnaüm. Mais, à un certain moment, Pierre tourne la barre du gouvernail si brusquement que la barque penche d’un côté.

« Que fais-tu ? demande André.

– Je vois la barque d’un hibou ! Elle sort maintenant de Capharnaüm. J’ai de bons yeux et, depuis hier soir, un flair de fin limier. Je ne veux pas qu’ils nous voient. Je retourne au fleuve. Nous irons à pied. »

L’autre barque a elle aussi suivi la manœuvre, mais Jacques, qui tient la barre, demande à Pierre :

« Pourquoi as-tu fait cela ?

– Je te le dirai. Suis-moi. »

Jésus, qui est assis à la poupe, se réveille quand il est presque à la hauteur du Jourdain.

« Mais que fais-tu, Simon ? lui demande-t-il.

– On descend ici. Il y a un chacal en vue. On ne peut pas aller à Capharnaüm aujourd’hui. Je vais y aller, moi d’abord, pour me rendre compte. Simon et Nathanaël viennent avec moi : trois personnes dignes contre trois indignes… si du moins les indignes ne sont pas plus nombreux.

– Ne vois pas des pièges partout, maintenant ! N’est-ce pas la barque de Simon le pharisien ?

– C’est bien elle.

– Il n’était pas à la capture de Jean.

– Moi, je n’en sais rien.

– Il est toujours respectueux à mon égard.

– Je n’en sais rien.

– Tu me fais paraître lâche.

– Je n’en sais rien. »

Bien que Jésus n’ait pas envie de rire, il doit sourire devant ce saint entêtement de Pierre.

« Mais nous devrons quand même aller à Capharnaüm. Si ce n’est pas aujourd’hui, ce sera plus tard…

– Je t’ai dit que j’y allais d’abord, moi, et je me rendrai compte et… le cas échéant… je ferai encore cette… ce sera une belle couleuvre à avaler… mais je le ferai par amour pour toi… J’irai… j’irai chez le centurion lui demander sa protection…

– Mais non, il ne faut pas ! »

La barque s’arrête sur une petite plage déserte en face de Bethsaïde. Tous descendent.

« Venez, vous deux. Viens toi aussi, Philippe. Vous, les jeunes, restez ici, Nous aurons vite fait. »

Elie, le nouveau disciple, supplie :

« Viens chez moi, Maître. Je serais si heureux de te donner l’hospitalité…

– Je viens. Simon, tu me rejoindras chez Elie. Adieu, Simon. Va. Mais sois bon, prudent et miséricordieux. Viens, que je t’embrasse et te bénisse. »

Pierre ne promet pas d’être bon, ni patient, ni miséricordieux. Il se tait et échange un baiser avec son Maître. Simon le Zélote, Barthélemy et Philippe échangent eux aussi un baiser d’adieu et les deux groupes se séparent en prenant deux directions opposées.

• André (apostle)
• Barthélémy - Nathanaël (apostle)
• Centurion of Capernaum (Roman officer)
• Elie de Corozaïn (Elie de Chorazeïn)
• James of Zebedee (apostle)
• Jean-Baptiste
• Philip (apostle)
• Places - Capharnaüm
• Simon of Capernaum (Pharisee)
• Simon the Zealot (apostle)
• Simon-Pierre - Simon de Jonas (apostle)

The crowds slowly disperse. The eight apostles, Elias, his brother and mother, old Isaac, whose soul rejoices seeing his Saviour, stay in the kitchen garden.

• André (apostle)
• Elie de Corozaïn (Elie de Chorazeïn)
• Isaac de Jonas, nicknamed the Adult of Chorazeïn
• James of Alphaeus (apostle)
• James of Zebedee (apostle)
• John of Zebedee (apostle)
• Judas de Kérioth (apostle)
• Jude of Alphée (apostle)
• Matthew (apostle)
• Thomas (apostle)

The enemies come into the fields of the Master, that is to His disciples. They are many and Satan is the first one. The others are his servants, that is, men, passions, the world and the flesh. The disciple who is more easily struck by them is the one who is not entirely close to the Master, but is between the Master and the world. He is not capable and does not want to part completely with the world, the flesh, passions and demons, to belong entirely to Him Who wants to take him to God. And the world, flesh, passions and the demon scatter their seed in him: gold, power, women, pride, the fear of an unfavourable opinion of the world, the spirit of utilitarianism. “The great ones are the strongest. I will serve them so that they will be friendly to me”. And they become criminals and damned for such miserable things!…

Why does the Master, Who sees the imperfection of a disciple, not cast him away at once, even if He is not prepared to submit to the thought: “He will be My murderer”? That is what you are asking yourselves. Because it is useless to do so. If He did so he would not avoid having him as an enemy, a double and more dangerous enemy, because of his anger and his sorrow at being found out or at being found out or at being driven away. Yes, because of his sorrow. Because sometimes a bad disciple does not realise that he is such. The demon’s action is so subtle that he is not aware of it. He becomes wicked without even suspecting that he is subject to such action. And because of his anger, He is enraged at being known for what he is, when he is aware of Satan’s work and of his followers: the men who tempt weak people in their weak points, to remove from the world a saint who offends them, wicked as they are, when compared with his goodness. The saint then prays and trusts in God. “Let what You allow be done” he says. He adds only the clause: “providing it serves Your purpose”. The saint knows that the time will come when the wicked darnel will be rejected from the harvest. By God Himself Who does not allow more than what is useful to the triumph of His loving will.»

181.7

«If You maintain that Satan and his followers are always to be blamed… it seems to me that the responsibility of the disciple diminishes» says Matthew.

«Do not believe that. If there is Good there is also Evil and man is gifted with discernment and freedom.»

«You say that God does not allow more than what is useful to the triumph of His loving will. Therefore such an error is useful too, if He allows it, and it serves the triumph of the divine will» says the Iscariot.

«And you infer, as Matthew does, that that justifies the disciple’s crime. God created the lion without ferocity and the snake without poison, now one is ferocious and the other poisonous. That is why God separated them from man. Ponder over that and draw conclusions. »

• Ambition - Arrivalism
• Anger - Irascibility
• Anxiety - Fear - Fearfulness
• Chair
• Crime
• Demonic possession
• Demons
• Detachment - Counting
• Enemies of Jesus Christ
• Gold
• Guilt - Shame
• Heresies and doctrinal errors
• Judgment
• Liability
• Lucifer - Satan
• Matthew (apostle)
• Passions
• Power
• Power
• Pride
• Respect
• Sensuality - Pleasure of the senses - Enjoyment
• Sin
• The guilty man
• The powerful man
• Woman
• World

Why does the Master, Who sees the imperfection of a disciple, not cast him away at once, even if He is not prepared to submit to the thought: “He will be My murderer”? That is what you are asking yourselves. Because it is useless to do so. If He did so he would not avoid having him as an enemy, a double and more dangerous enemy, because of his anger and his sorrow at being found out or at being found out or at being driven away. Yes, because of his sorrow. Because sometimes a bad disciple does not realise that he is such. The demon’s action is so subtle that he is not aware of it. He becomes wicked without even suspecting that he is subject to such action. And because of his anger, He is enraged at being known for what he is, when he is aware of Satan’s work and of his followers: the men who tempt weak people in their weak points, to remove from the world a saint who offends them, wicked as they are, when compared with his goodness. The saint then prays and trusts in God. “Let what You allow be done” he says. He adds only the clause: “providing it serves Your purpose”. The saint knows that the time will come when the wicked darnel will be rejected from the harvest. By God Himself Who does not allow more than what is useful to the triumph of His loving will.»

181.7

«If You maintain that Satan and his followers are always to be blamed… it seems to me that the responsibility of the disciple diminishes» says Matthew.

«Do not believe that. If there is Good there is also Evil and man is gifted with discernment and freedom.»

«You say that God does not allow more than what is useful to the triumph of His loving will. Therefore such an error is useful too, if He allows it, and it serves the triumph of the divine will» says the Iscariot.

«And you infer, as Matthew does, that that justifies the disciple’s crime. God created the lion without ferocity and the snake without poison, now one is ferocious and the other poisonous. That is why God separated them from man. Ponder over that and draw conclusions.

• Betrayal
• Betrayal of Jesus Christ
• Judas de Kérioth (apostle)
• Why did you...?

Peter comes back only the following morning. And he is calmer than when he left, because he was made welcome at Capernaum and the town had been cleared of Eli and Joachim.

«They must have taken part in the plot. Because I asked some friends when they had left, and I understood that they had not come back after going to the Baptist as penitents. And I do not think that they will come back so soon, now that I mentioned that they were present at the arrest… There is much turmoil because of the Baptist’s capture… I will ensure that the whole world knows about it… It is the best weapon we have. I also met Simon, the Pharisee… But if he really is what he appeared to me, I think he is favourably disposed towards us. He said to Me: “Tell the Master not to follow the Jordan along the western valley. The other side is safer” he said stressing the words. And he ended: “I have not seen you. I have not spoken to you. Don’t forget. And mind what you do in mine, yours and everybody’s interest. Tell the Master that I am a friend” and he kept looking up, as if he were speaking to the wind. They are always false, even when doing good things and… and I will say “strange”, so that You will not reproach me. But… ehi!… but I went and I had a little chat with the centurion. Just… to ask: “Is your servant well?”, and when I was told that he was, I said: “That is good! Make sure you keep him healthy because they are laying snares for the Master. The Baptist has already been captured…” and the Roman grasped the idea immediately. A cunning fellow he is! He replied: “Where there is a vexillum, there will be a guard for Him, and there will be someone reminding the Jews that no plot is allowed under the sign of Rome, death or the galley being the punishment”. They are heathens, but I could have kissed him. I like people who understand and take action! So we can go.»

«Let us go. But all that was not necessary» says Jesus.

«It was… it was necessary indeed!» Jesus says goodbye to the hospitable family and also to the new disciple, to whom He must have given some instructions.

• Centurion of Capernaum (Roman officer)
• Elijah of Capernaum (Pharisee)
• Jean-Baptiste
• Joachim of Capernaum (Sanhedrist and Pharisee)
• Romans
• Simon of Capernaum (Pharisee)
• Simon-Pierre - Simon de Jonas (apostle)