Family and kinship of Jesus Christ

That is the universal sense. But there is another sense, which is the answer to the question which you have been asking yourselves many times and particularly since yesterday evening. Your question is: “Can there be traitors in the mass of disciples?” and your hearts tremble with horror and fear. Yes, there may be some. There are certainly some.

The Sower sows the good seed. In this case, instead of sowing, we could say that He “picks”. Because the master, whether it is I or the Baptist, choses his disciples. How were they, therefore, led astray? No, I did not use the right word saying that the disciples are the “seed”. You may misunderstand. I will call them “field”. As many disciples as fields, chosen by the master to form the area of the Kingdom of God, the wealth of God. The master tires himself cultivating them so that they may yield one hundred per cent. He takes care of everything with patience, love, wisdom, hard work and perseverance. He also sees their wicked inclinations, their barrenness and avidity, their stubbornness and weakness. But he hopes all the time, corroborating his hope through prayer and penance, because he wishes to lead them to perfection.

But the fields are open. They are not gardens enclosed in walls of protection, of which the only owner is the master, who is the only one who can go in. They are open. Placed as they are in the centre of the world, among the world, anyone can go near them and into them. Everybody and everything. Oh! darnel is not the only bad seed sown! Darnel could be the symbol of the bitter frivolity of the worldly spirit. But all the other seeds, scattered by the Enemy, come up in them. There are nettles, couch-grass, dodder, bearbines, and finally hemlock and poisonous herbs. Why? What are they?

Nettles: stinging untameable spirits which hurt through their excess of poison and cause so much trouble. Couch-grass: parasites who wear out the master as they can only creep and suck, taking advantage of his work and injuring the willing ones, who would make much more profit if the master were not upset and distracted by the cares required by the couch-grass. The sluggish bearbines rise from the ground only by making use of the efforts of other people. Dodders: they are a torture on the already painful road of the master and a torment to the faithful disciples who follow him. They twist, pierce, tear to pieces, scratch, cause mistrust and pain. The poisonous ones: the criminal disciples, who go as far as betraying and killing as hemlock and other poisonous plants do. Have you noticed how beautiful they are with their little flowers which later become white, red, blue-violet berries? Who would say that the white or pinkish star-shaped corolla, with its little gold heart, or the many-coloured corals, so much like other little fruits which are the delight of birds and children, can cause death, once they are ripe? No one. And the innocent ones fall into the trap. They believe that everybody is as good as they are… they pick and die.

They believe that everybody is as good as they are! Oh! The truth that makes the master sublime and condemns his traitor! How? Does goodness not disarm wickedness? Does it not make ill-will harmless? No, it does not, because the man who has fallen prey to the Enemy is indifferent to what is superior. And what is superior changes apperance, as far as he is concerned. Kindness becomes weakness on which it is lawful to tread and it stimulates his ill-will as the scent of blood stimulates a beast to slaughter.

Also the master is always innocent… and he lets his traitor poison him, because he cannot possibly believe that a human being can murder an innocent person.

181.6

The enemies come into the fields of the Master, that is to His disciples. They are many and Satan is the first one. The others are his servants, that is, men, passions, the world and the flesh. The disciple who is more easily struck by them is the one who is not entirely close to the Master, but is between the Master and the world. He is not capable and does not want to part completely with the world, the flesh, passions and demons, to belong entirely to Him Who wants to take him to God. And the world, flesh, passions and the demon scatter their seed in him: gold, power, women, pride, the fear of an unfavourable opinion of the world, the spirit of utilitarianism. “The great ones are the strongest. I will serve them so that they will be friendly to me”. And they become criminals and damned for such miserable things!…

Why does the Master, Who sees the imperfection of a disciple, not cast him away at once, even if He is not prepared to submit to the thought: “He will be My murderer”? That is what you are asking yourselves. Because it is useless to do so. If He did so he would not avoid having him as an enemy, a double and more dangerous enemy, because of his anger and his sorrow at being found out or at being found out or at being driven away. Yes, because of his sorrow. Because sometimes a bad disciple does not realise that he is such. The demon’s action is so subtle that he is not aware of it. He becomes wicked without even suspecting that he is subject to such action. And because of his anger, He is enraged at being known for what he is, when he is aware of Satan’s work and of his followers: the men who tempt weak people in their weak points, to remove from the world a saint who offends them, wicked as they are, when compared with his goodness. The saint then prays and trusts in God. “Let what You allow be done” he says. He adds only the clause: “providing it serves Your purpose”. The saint knows that the time will come when the wicked darnel will be rejected from the harvest. By God Himself Who does not allow more than what is useful to the triumph of His loving will.»

181.7

«If You maintain that Satan and his followers are always to be blamed… it seems to me that the responsibility of the disciple diminishes» says Matthew.

«Do not believe that. If there is Good there is also Evil and man is gifted with discernment and freedom.»

«You say that God does not allow more than what is useful to the triumph of His loving will. Therefore such an error is useful too, if He allows it, and it serves the triumph of the divine will» says the Iscariot.

«And you infer, as Matthew does, that that justifies the disciple’s crime. God created the lion without ferocity and the snake without poison, now one is ferocious and the other poisonous. That is why God separated them from man. Ponder over that and draw conclusions.»

• Betrayal
• Discipleship - Following Jesus Christ
• Jean-Baptiste
• Temptation
• Traitor - Treachery
• World

Peter comes back only the following morning. And he is calmer than when he left, because he was made welcome at Capernaum and the town had been cleared of Eli and Joachim.

«They must have taken part in the plot. Because I asked some friends when they had left, and I understood that they had not come back after going to the Baptist as penitents. And I do not think that they will come back so soon, now that I mentioned that they were present at the arrest… There is much turmoil because of the Baptist’s capture… I will ensure that the whole world knows about it… It is the best weapon we have. I also met Simon, the Pharisee… But if he really is what he appeared to me, I think he is favourably disposed towards us. He said to Me: “Tell the Master not to follow the Jordan along the western valley. The other side is safer” he said stressing the words. And he ended: “I have not seen you. I have not spoken to you. Don’t forget. And mind what you do in mine, yours and everybody’s interest. Tell the Master that I am a friend” and he kept looking up, as if he were speaking to the wind. They are always false, even when doing good things and… and I will say “strange”, so that You will not reproach me. But… ehi!… but I went and I had a little chat with the centurion. Just… to ask: “Is your servant well?”, and when I was told that he was, I said: “That is good! Make sure you keep him healthy because they are laying snares for the Master. The Baptist has already been captured…” and the Roman grasped the idea immediately. A cunning fellow he is! He replied: “Where there is a vexillum, there will be a guard for Him, and there will be someone reminding the Jews that no plot is allowed under the sign of Rome, death or the galley being the punishment”. They are heathens, but I could have kissed him. I like people who understand and take action! So we can go.»

«Let us go. But all that was not necessary» says Jesus.

«It was… it was necessary indeed!» Jesus says goodbye to the hospitable family and also to the new disciple, to whom He must have given some instructions.

• Centurion of Capernaum (Roman officer)
• Elijah of Capernaum (Pharisee)
• Jean-Baptiste
• Joachim of Capernaum (Sanhedrist and Pharisee)
• Romans
• Simon of Capernaum (Pharisee)
• Simon-Pierre - Simon de Jonas (apostle)

They are alone once again: the Master with His apostles and they walk along the cool country, along a road which Jesus has taken much to Peter’s surprise, as he wanted to take a different one. «We are going away from the lake…»

«We will still arrive in time for what I have to do.»

The apostles become silent and go towards a little village, a handful of houses, spread out in the country.

• André (apostle)
• Barthélémy - Nathanaël (apostle)
• James of Alphaeus (apostle)
• James of Zebedee (apostle)
• John of Zebedee (apostle)
• Judas de Kérioth (apostle)
• Jude of Alphée (apostle)
• Matthew (apostle)
• Philip (apostle)
• Places - Magdala
• Simon the Zealot (apostle)
• Simon-Pierre - Simon de Jonas (apostle)
• The Twelve
• Thomas (apostle)

The entire apostolic college is around Jesus. Sitting on the grass, in the cool shade of a thicket, near a stream, they are all eating bread and cheese and drinking the cool clear water of the stream. Their dusty sandals imply that they have walked a long way and perhaps the disciples wish but to rest on the long fresh grass.

But the Tireless Walker is not of the same mind. As soon as he deems that the hottest hour is over, He gets up, goes onto the road and looks… He then turns around and says: «Let us go.» Nothing else.

• André (apostle)
• Barthélémy - Nathanaël (apostle)
• James of Alphaeus (apostle)
• James of Zebedee (apostle)
• John of Zebedee (apostle)
• Judas de Kérioth (apostle)
• Jude of Alphée (apostle)
• Matthew (apostle)
• Philip (apostle)
• Places - Wadi Amud (watercourse or stream)
• Simon the Zealot (apostle)
• Simon-Pierre - Simon de Jonas (apostle)
• The Twelve
• Thomas (apostle)

«Benjamin, did you like My story? Yes? Go Where is your mother?»

James of Alphaeus replies: «She went out at the end of the parable and ran along that road.»

«She may have gone to the seaside to see whether her husband is coming» says Thomas.

«No. She has gone to her old mother’s, to get the children. Mummy takes them there so that she can work» says the little boy, who is leaning familiarly on Jesus’ knees.

«And she keeps you here, my little man? You must be a handsome evil-doer if she keeps you here all by yourself!» remarks Bartholomew.

«I am the eldest, and I help her…»

«You help her to gain Paradise, poor woman! How old are you?» asks Peter.

«In three years’ time I will be a son of the Law» replies the urchin proudly.

«Can you read?» asks Thaddeus.

«Yes… but very slowly… because the teacher throws me out almost every day…»

«What did I say!» exclaims Bartholomew.

«But I behave like that because the teacher is old and ugly and says the same things all the time and makes you fall asleep! If he were like Him (and he points to Jesus) I would pay attention. Do You hit those who sleep or play?»

«I do not hit anybody. But I say to My pupils: “Pay attention for your own good and for My sake”» replies Jesus.

«Yes, that’s all right! Out of love, not out of fear.»

«But if you are good, the teacher will love you.»

«Do You love only those who are good? You just said that You were patient with this man here, who was not good…» The child’s logic is cogent.

«I am good with everybody. But when one becomes good, I love that one very much and I am very good, too.»

The boy is pensive… he then looks up and asks Matthew: «And what did you do to become good?»

«I loved Him.»

184.7

The boy becomes pensive again and then looking at the Twelve asks Jesus: «Are they all good?»

«Of course they are.»

«Are you sure? I sometimes behave as a good boy, but that is when… I am thinking of some big mischief.»

They all burst into laughter. Also the little fellow, who is in a confessing humour, laughs. Also Jesus laughs pressing him to His heart and kissing him.

The boy, who is now friendly with everybody, wants to play and says: «I will now tell You who is good» and he begins his selection. He looks at them all and goes straight to John and Andrew who are nearby and says: «You and you. Come here.» He then chooses the two Jameses and places them with the other two. He then takes Thaddeus. He is quite pensive in front of the Zealot and Bartholomew and says: «You are old, but good» and he joins them to the others. He examines Peter, who undergoes the examination, jokingly frowning at him, and finds him to be good. Also Matthew and Philip pass the test. He says to Thomas: «You laugh too much. I am in earnest. Don’t you know that my teacher says that he who always laughs fails in the test?» After all, Thomas too passes his examination, but with low marks. The boy then goes back to Jesus.

«Hey, you urchin! I am here, too! I am not a tree. I am young and handsome. Why don’t you examine me?» says the Iscariot.

«Because I don’t like you. My mother says that when you don’t like something, you must not touch it. You just leave it on the table, so that other people, who may like it, can take it. And she also says that if you are offered something you do not like, you must not say: “I do not like it”. But you say: “Thank you, but I am not hungry”. And I do not hunger for you.»

«Why not? Look, if you say that I am good, I will give you this coin.»

«What am I going to do with it? What can I buy with a lie? Mummy says that money which is the fruit of deceit, becomes straw. Once at my grandmother’s, I got them to give me a didrachma by telling a lie because I wanted to buy some honey-cakes, and during the night it turned into straw. I put it in that hole over there, under the door, to take it the following morning, but I found a handful of straw in its place.»

«But how can you see that I am not good? What is wrong with me? Am I lame? Am I ugly looking?»

«No. But you frighten me.»

«Why?» asks the Iscariot going near him.

«I don’t know. Leave me alone. Don’t touch me or I will scratch you.»

«What a hedgehog! You are silly.» Judas gives a forced laugh.

«I am not silly. You are bad» and the boy takes shelter in the lap of Jesus, Who caresses him without speaking.

The apostles make fun of the situation which is not very pleasant to the Iscariot.

• André (apostle)
• Barthélémy - Nathanaël (apostle)
• James of Alphaeus (apostle)
• James of Zebedee (apostle)
• Jesus laughs
• John of Zebedee (apostle)
• Judas de Kérioth (apostle)
• Jude of Alphée (apostle)
• Matthew (apostle)
• Philip (apostle)
• Simon the Zealot (apostle)
• Simon-Pierre - Simon de Jonas (apostle)
• The Twelve
• Thomas (apostle)

185.1 Now that everybody is asleep I am telling you my joy. I «saw» today’s Gospel. Mind you, this morning when I read it, I said to myself: «This is an episode of the Gospel which I will never see, because it is not very suitable for a vision.» Instead, when I was not thinking about it, it came to fill me with joy.

185.2 This is what I saw.

A sailing boat, not excessively large, nor very small, a fishing boat, on which five or six people can move comfortably, is ploughing the water of the beautiful deep blue lake of Gennesaret.

Jesus is sleeping in the stern. He is dressed in white as usual. He is resting His head on His left arm and under His arm and head He has placed His blue-grey mantle, which has been folded many times. He is sitting, not lying, on the bottom of the boat and His head is resting on the board that is at the very end of the stern. I do not know how sailors call it. He is sleeping peacefully. He is tired. He is placid.

Peter is at the rudder. Andrew is busy with the sails, John and two more people – I do not know who they are – are sorting out the ropes and nets at the bottom of the boat, as if they were preparing for a catch during the night. I would say that the day is drawing to its end because the sun is already setting in the west. All the disciples have pulled their tunics up, gathering them around their waists by means of belts, in order to be free in their movements, passing from one part of the boat to another, stepping over oars, seats, baskets and nets, without being hindered by their clothes. None of them is wearing a mantle.

185.3 I see that the sky is clouding over and the sun is hiding behind huge storm clouds, which have suddenly appeared from behind the top of a hill. The wind blows them fast towards the lake. The wind, for the time being, is high up, and the lake is still quiet, it is only becoming darker and its surface is no longer perfectly smooth. There are no waves as yet, but the water is beginning to ruffle.

Peter and Andrew watch the sky and the lake and are preparing to draw close to the shore. But the wind suddenly rages over the lake that in a few minutes surges foaming. The swelling waves clash one against the other, they strike the little boat, lifting it up, lowering it down, tossing it in all directions, thus preventing all manoeuvres of the rudder as the wind prevents manoeuvring the sail, which has to be lowered.

Jesus is sleeping. Neither the steps and excited voices of the disciples, nor the howling wind, nor the waves pounding on the sides of the boat and its prow, awake Him. His hair is blowing in the wind and drops of water reach Him. But He is sleeping. John runs from stern to stern and covers Him with his mantle, which he has taken from below a board. He covers Him with delicate love.

The storm rages more and more furiously. The lake is as black as if ink had been poured into it and is streaked by the foam of the waves. The boat lets in water and is driven farther and farther to the open sea by the wind. The disciples are perspiring in their efforts to manoeuvre the boat and baling out the water which the waves pour in. But to no avail. They are paddling in the water that reaches up to their knees and the boat is becoming heavier and heavier.

185.4 Peter loses his calm and patience. He hands the rudder over to his brother, staggers towards Jesus and shakes Him vigorously.

Jesus wakes up and raises His head.

«Save us, Master, we are going down!» Peter shouts to Him (he must shout to make himself heard).

Jesus stares at His disciple, looks at the others and then at the lake. «Do you believe that I can save you?»

«Quick, Master» shouts Peter, while a real mountain of water moves fast from the centre of the lake towards the poor little boat. It is so high and dreadful that it looks like a water spout. The disciples who see it coming kneel down and hang onto whatever they can, certain that it is the end.

Jesus gets up. He stands on the stern board: a white figure against the livid storm. He stretches His arms out towards the billow and says to the wind: «Stop and be quiet» and to the water: «Calm down. I want it.» And the billow dissolves into foam, which falls harmlessly with a last roar, which fades into a whisper, while the wind dies down changing into a whistle and then a sigh. And the sky becomes clear once again over the appeased lake, while hope and faith fill the hearts of the disciples.

I cannot describe Jesus’ majesty. One must see it to understand it. And I enjoy it internally because it is still present in my mind and I think of how placid was Jesus’ sleep and how imperious was His command to the winds and the waves.

185.5 Jesus then says:

«I will not expound the Gospel in the same way as everybody else does. I will illustrate the circumstances preceding the Gospel passage.

Why was I sleeping? Did I perhaps not know that there was going to be a storm? Yes, I knew. Only I knew. Why was I sleeping, then?

The apostles were men, Mary. They were full of goodwill, but still very much “men”. Man thinks he is always capable of everything. When he is really capable of doing something he is full of haughtiness and attachment to his “ability”. Peter, Andrew, James and John were good fishermen and consequently they thought they were unexcelled in handling a boat. As far as they were concerned I was a great “Rabbi”, but a mere nothing as a sailor. Thus they thought I was unable to help them, and when on the boat to cross the Sea of Galilee, they begged Me to sit down because I was not capable of doing anything else. Also their love for Me was behind their attitude, as they did not want Me to do any material work. But their attachment to their own ability was greater than their love.

I do not impose Myself, Mary, except in exceptional cases. I generally leave you free and wait. On that day, tired as I was and being requested to rest, that is to let them act, clever as they were, I went to sleep. My sleep also included the ascertainment of how man is “man” and wants to do things by himself without feeling that God asks but to help him. I saw in those “spiritual deaf men”, in those “spiritual blind men”, all the spiritual deaf and blind people, who throughout centuries would ruin themselves, because “they wanted to do by themselves”, although I was bent over their needs awaiting to be asked to help them.

When Peter shouted: “Save us!”, My bitterness dropped like a stone. I am not “man”, I am the God-Man. I do not behave as you do. When someone rejects your advice or your help, and you see him in trouble, even if you are not so bad as to rejoice at it, you are uncharitable enough to look at him disdainfully and indifferently, without being moved by his shouts for help. Your attitude means: “When I wanted to help you, you did not want me? Well, help yourself now”. But I am Jesus. I am the Saviour. And I save, Mary. I always save as soon as I am asked to.

185.6 The poor men might object: “In that case, why do You allow single or collective storms to break out?”. If by My power I should destroy Evil, you would consider yourselves the authors of Good, which in actual fact is a gift of Mine, and you would not remember Me any longer, You would never remember Me. My poor children, you are in need of sorrow to remember that you have a Father. As the prodigal son remembered he had a father when he was hungry.

Misfortunes convince you of your nothingness, of your ignorance, which is the cause of so many errors, of your wickedness, the cause of so much mourning and grief, of your faults, the cause of the punishments which you inflict upon yourselves, as well as of My existence, of My power and of My goodness.

That is what today’s Gospel teaches you. “Your” Gospel of the present time, my poor children. Call Me. Jesus does not sleep except when He is in anguish because He sees that He is not loved by you. Call Me and I will come.»

• André (apostle)
• Barthélémy - Nathanaël (apostle)
• Bible - Gospel of Luke
• Bible - Gospel of Mark
• Bible - Gospel of Matthew
• James of Alphaeus (apostle)
• James of Zebedee (apostle)
• John of Zebedee (apostle)
• Judas de Kérioth (apostle)
• Jude of Alphée (apostle)
• Matthew (apostle)
• Miracles of Creation
• Miracles of Jesus Christ
• Philip (apostle)
• Simon the Zealot (apostle)
• Simon-Pierre - Simon de Jonas (apostle)
• The Twelve
• The apostles' concern and humanity
• The calmed storm
• Thomas (apostle)

Jesus begins to ascend a steep path which climbs the almost upright cliff. The apostles follow Him along a very hard path up to the top of the cliff which levels over to a tableland strewn with oak-trees under which there are many pigs pasturing.

«Stinking animals!» exclaims Bartholomew. «They prevent us from passing…»

«No, they do not. There is room for everybody» replies Jesus calmly.

In any case the swineherds, when they see the Israelites, endeavour to gather the pigs under the oak-trees, leaving the path free. And the apostles pass by, making endless grimaces, among the filth left by the grouting animals, which fat as they are, seem anxious to become even fatter.

Jesus passes without any fuss, saying to the swineherds: «May God reward you for your kindness.»

The swineherds, poor people not much cleaner than their pigs but infinitely thinner, look at Him amazed and then whisper to one another. One of them says: «Is He perhaps not an Israelite?» And the others reply to him: «Don’t you see that His tunic is fringed?»

The group of the apostles gather together, now that they can proceed in one group along a fairly wide path.

• André (apostle)
• Barthélémy - Nathanaël (apostle)
• James of Alphaeus (apostle)
• James of Zebedee (apostle)
• John of Zebedee (apostle)
• Judas de Kérioth (apostle)
• Jude of Alphée (apostle)
• Matthew (apostle)
• Philip (apostle)
• Simon the Zealot (apostle)
• Simon-Pierre - Simon de Jonas (apostle)
• The Twelve
• The apostles' concern and humanity
• Thomas (apostle)

«Is that not Gamala?» asks the Zealot.

«Yes, it is Gamala. Do you know the town?» says Jesus.

«I was a fugitive there, one night, a long time ago. Then I was affected by leprosy and I did not come out of the sepulchres any more.»

«Did they pursue you so far?»

«I was coming from Syria, where I had gone seeking protection. But they discovered me and only my flight to this place saved me from being captured. Afterwards slowly and continuously threatened I went down as far as the desert of Tekoa and from there, suffering already from leprosy, to the Valley of the Dead. Leprosy saved me from my enemies…»

«These people are heathens, are they not?» asks the Iscariot.

«Almost everybody. Only a few Jews are here on business, and then there is a mixture of beliefs, or no beliefs at all. But they did not treat the fugitive badly.»

«These are places for bandits. What gorges!» exclaim many.

«Yes, but believe me, there are more bandits on the other side» says John who is still impressed by the capture of the

Baptist.

«On the other side there are also bandits among those who enjoy the reputation of being just» concludes his brother.

• James of Zebedee (apostle)
• Jean-Baptiste
• John of Zebedee (apostle)
• Judas de Kérioth (apostle)
• Locations - Gamala
• Locations - Tecua - Teqoa
• Locations - Valley of Hinnom or Valley of the Dead
• Paganism and pagans
• Pharisees
• Simon the Zealot (apostle)

Jesus dismisses the boats saying: «I am not coming back» and followed by His apostles, and across the area which appeared to be very fertile also from the opposite shore, He turns His steps towards a mountain, which appears towards the south-west.

The apostles are walking in silence, communicating with one another only by casting glances. In fact they are not enthusiastic for the journey across this beautiful but wild area, which is full of bog grass that gets entangled with their feet; of reeds that cause drizzle of dew to fall on their heads from the edges of the leaves; of hazels that strike their faces with the hard canes of their dry fruit; of willow trees the fragile branches of which hang down everywhere tickling them; of treacherous patches of grass that seems to be growing on solid ground, whereas it conceals puddles of water into which their feet sink, they are in fact patches of foxtails and tares, growing in tiny pools and so thick as to conceal the element in which they have come up.

Jesus, instead, seems to be extremely happy in the midst of all that greenery and the thousand hues of all the flowers, which creep on the ground, or stand upright, or cling to other plants to climb up, forming thin festoons strewn with light convolvuli of a very delicate mallow pink, or forming delicate blue carpets for the thousand corollas of water myosotises, which open the perfect cups of white, pink, blue corollas among the large flat

leaves of the water lilies. Jesus admires the tufts of the water reeds, as soft as silk and pearled with dew, and He bends joyfully to watch the delicate features of foxtails, which lay an emerald veil on the water. He stops ecstatically in front of the nests which the birds are building, flying happily to and fro, trilling, darting from branch to branch, working joyfully, with their beaks full of wisps of hay, of down of reeds, of flocks of wool picked on hedges, which had torn it from migrating sheep… He seems the happiest person in the world. Where is the world with its wickedness, falsehood, sorrows, snares? The world is beyond this green flowery oasis, where everything scents, shines, smiles, sings. This is the earth created by the Father and not desecrated by man and man can be forgotten here.

187.2

He wants to share His happiness with the others. But He does not find a favourable ground. The hearts of the apostles are tired and embittered by so much ill-will and they react against things and also against the Master by means of a stubborn silence, which is like the stillness of the air before a storm. Only His cousin James, the Zealot and John take an interest in what interests Jesus. All the others are… absent, if not hostile. Perhaps they are keeping quiet, not to grumble. But inside they must be speaking, and speaking too much.

It is a more lively exclamation of admiration before the living jewel of a kingfisher which flies down, taking a little silver fish to its mate, that makes them open their mouths.

Jesus says: «Can there be anything more gentle?»

Peter replies: «Perhaps not more gentle… but I can assure You that a boat is more comfortable. Here it is damp just the same, but we are not comfortable…»

«I would prefer the track for caravans to this… garden, if You wish to call it so, and I am in full agreement with Simon» says the Iscariot.

«It was you who did not want the caravan route» replies Jesus.

«Ehi! certainly… But I would not have given in to the Gherghesenes. I would have gone away from there, but I would have continued beyond the river to Gadara, Pella and down to the south» grumbles Bartholomew.

And his great friend Philip concludes: «The roads belong to everybody, after all, and we could have passed through them well.»

«My friends! I am so anguished and disgusted… Do not increase My grief with your pettiness! Let Me seek some comfort in things which do not know how to hate…»

The reproach, kind in its sadness, moves the apostles.

«You are right, Master. We are not worthy of You. Forgive our foolishness. You can see the beautiful, because You are holy You look with the eyes of Your heart. We are coarse flesh and can only perceive coarse flesh… But never mind. Believe me, even if we were in paradise, we would be sad without You. But with You… oh! it is always beautiful for our hearts. It is only our limbs that refuse» many of them whisper.

187.3

«We will soon be going out of here and will find a more comfortable ground, even if not so cool» promises Jesus.

«Where are we going exactly?» asks Peter.

«To give Passover to those who suffer. I have been wanting to do it for a long time. But I could not. I would have done it going back to Galilee. Now that they compel us to go along roads that we have not chosen, I am going to bless Jonah’s poor friends.»

«We will be wasting a lot of time! Passover is near! There are always delays for various reasons.» Another chorus of complaints rises to the sky. I do not know how Jesus can be so patient…

Without reproaching anyone He says: «Please, do not hinder Me! Endeavour to understand My need to love and to be loved. I have but this solace on the earth: to love and do the will of God.»

«And are we going from here? Was it not better to go from Nazareth?»

«If I had suggested that, you would have rebelled. No one will suspect that I am here… and I am doing it for you… because you are afraid.»

«Afraid? Ah! No! We are ready to fight for You.»

«Pray the Lord not to put you to the test. I know that you are quarrelsome, resentful, anxious to offend those who offend Me and to humble your neighbour. I know all that. But I do not know you to be brave. As far as I am concerned, I would have also gone by Myself and along the main road and nothing would have happened because it is not yet the time. But I feel sorry for you. I have to obey My Mother, yes, but I do not want to upset Simon the Pharisee. I will not disgust them. But they will disgust Me.»

«And where do we go from here? I am not familiar with this area» says Thomas.

«We will reach Tabor, we will coast part of it and will go to Nain via Endor; from there to the plain of Esdraelon. Be not afraid!… Doras, the son of Doras, and Johanan are already in Jerusalem.»

• André (apostle)
• Barthélémy - Nathanaël (apostle)
• James of Alphaeus (apostle)
• James of Zebedee (apostle)
• John of Zebedee (apostle)
• Judas de Kérioth (apostle)
• Jude of Alphée (apostle)
• Matthew (apostle)
• Philip (apostle)
• Simon the Zealot (apostle)
• Simon-Pierre - Simon de Jonas (apostle)
• The Twelve
• The apostles' concern and humanity
• Thomas (apostle)

«And where do we go from here? I am not familiar with this area» says Thomas.

«We will reach Tabor, we will coast part of it and will go to Nain via Endor; from there to the plain of Esdraelon. Be not afraid!… Doras, the son of Doras, and Johanan are already in Jerusalem.»

187.4

«Oh! It will be beautiful! They say that from the summit, from a certain spot, one can see the Great Sea, the Sea of Rome. I like it so much! Will You take us to see it?» John begs with his kind childish face raised towards Jesus.

«Why do you like to see it so much?» asks Jesus caressing him.

«I do not know… Because it is huge and you cannot see its end… It makes me think of God… When we were up on Lebanon I saw the sea for the first time, because I had never been anywhere else, except along the Jordan or on our little sea… and I was moved so much that I wept. So much blue! So much water! And it never overflows!… What a wonderful thing! And the stars make paths of light on the sea… Oh! do not laugh at me! I looked at the golden way of the sun until I was dazzled, at the silvery way of the moon, until I could see nothing but whiteness and I saw them getting lost far far away. Those ways spoke to me. They said: “God is in that infinite distance and these are the ways of fire and purity, which a soul must follow to go to God. Come. Dive into the infinite, travelling on these two ways, and you will find the Infinite One”.»

«You are a poet, John» says Thaddeus admiringly.

«I do not know whether this is poetry. I know that it inflames my heart.»

«But you have seen the sea also at Caesarea and at Ptolomais, and quite close, too. We were on the beach! I do not see the need to go all that way to see some more sea water. After all… we were born on the water…» remarks James of Zebedee.

«And we are in it now as well, unfortunately!» exclaims Peter, who diverting his mind for a moment to listen to John, has not noticed a treacherous puddle and has got soaked… They all laugh, and he laughs too.

But John replies: «That is true. But from high above it is more beautiful. You see more and farther. You think that it is deeper and vaster… You wish… you dream…» and John is already dreaming… He looks in front of himself and smiles at his dream… He looks like a flesh-coloured rose spread with minute dew drops, so downy becomes his smooth clear skin of a young fair-haired man and as it gets sprinkled with a light perspiration it looks more like the petal of a rose.

«What do you wish? What are you dreaming?» Jesus asks His favourite disciple in a low voice and He looks like a father who questions a dear son speaking in his sleep. Jesus speaks to John’s soul, questioning him so gently as not to spoil the dream of His loving disciple.

«I wish to go onto the infinite sea… towards other lands beyond it. I wish to go and speak of You. I am dreaming… of going towards Rome, towards Greece, towards dark places to take the Light there… so that those living in darkness may get in touch with You and may live in communion with You, Light of the world… I am dreaming of a better world… to be bettered through the knowledge of You, that is, through the knowledge of the Love that makes people good, pure, heroic, of the Love that makes the world love and raise Your Name, Your Faith, Your Doctrine above hatred, sin, flesh, above the vices of the mind, above gold, above everything… and I dream of going with my brothers on the sea of God, on the road of light to take You… as Your Mother once brought You down to us from Heaven… I dream that I am a child, who knowing nothing but love, is happy also when facing trouble… and sings to comfort the adults who ponder too much, and moves forward… facing death smiling… towards glory with the humility of one who does not know what he is doing, but knows only that he is coming to You, Love…»

The apostles have not breathed during John’s ecstatic confessions… They remained still where they were, looking at the youngest one speaking with his eyes covered by his eyelids, like a veil thrown over the ardour rising from his heart, and looking at Jesus Who is enraptured finding Himself so completely in His disciple…

When John stops speaking, slightly bent forward – he reminds me of the gracefulness of the humble Mary of Nazareth – Jesus kisses his forehead saying: «We shall go and contemplate the sea, to let you dream My future Kingdom in the world once again.»

• André (apostle)
• Barthélémy - Nathanaël (apostle)
• Creation - Lakes - Seas and oceans
• Creation - Stars - Planets
• God
• James of Alphaeus (apostle)
• James of Zebedee (apostle)
• John of Zebedee (apostle)
• Jude of Alphée (apostle)
• Kingdom of God - Kingdom of Heaven
• Locations - Caesarea Maritime
• Locations - Mont Thabor
• Matthew (apostle)
• Philip (apostle)
• Places - Ptolemais
• Rome
• Simon the Zealot (apostle)
• Simon-Pierre - Simon de Jonas (apostle)
• The Twelve
• Thomas (apostle)