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Who is the Virgin Mary?

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Aa

GRM 207.10

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

«Come out here, now, near the stream, in the shade of the good tree, which, if it were later in summer, would give you its apples in addition to its shade; come. We shall eat before going… Where, Son?»

«To Jala. It is near. And tomorrow we shall go to Bethzur.»

They sit in the shade of the apple-tree and Mary leans against its robust trunk.

Bartholomew watches Her, so young and still heavenly moved by the recollection She made, while She accepts from Her Son the food He has blessed and She smiles at Him with loving eyes, and he whispers: « “In His shade I am seated and His food is sweet to My taste”.»

Judas Thaddeus replies to him: «It is true. She is sick with love. But we cannot say that She was awakened under an apple-tree.»

«Why not, brother? What do we know about the secrets of the King?» replies James of Alphaeus.

And Jesus smiling says: «The new Eve was conceived of the Thought at the foot of the paradisiacal apple-tree in order to put to flight the serpent and detoxicate the poisoned fruit by means of Her smile and Her tears. She became the tree of the redeeming fruit. Come, friends, and eat of it. Because to be nourished by its sweetness is to be nourished by the honey of God.»

«Master, please satisfy an old desire of mine for some clarification. Does the Song which we are reciting[3] foresee Her?» asks Bartholomew in a low voice while Mary is looking after the boy and speaking to the women.

«The Book speaks of her from its beginning and future books will speak of Her until the word of man changes into the everlasting hosanna of God’s eternal City» and Jesus turns towards the women.

«You can hear that He descends from David! What wisdom, what poetry!» says the Zealot speaking to his companions.

Detail

The Virgin Mary recounted the birth of her Son.

Annotation

Songs 2, 3

Ct 2,3 "As an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my friend among young men, I take great pleasure in sitting under its shade. How sweet its fruit is to my palate."

Song of Solomon 8:5

Ct 8,5 : Who is this who comes up from the desert, leaning on her beloved? L'ÉPOUX. I woke you under the apple tree; there your mother conceived you; there she conceived you, there she gave birth to you.

GRM 207.11 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

«Listen» the Iscariot who is still in the mood of the previous day and speaks very little, although he endeavours to emulate the freedom he had before, joins in the conversation «listen, I would like to understand why the Incarnation had to take place. Only God can speak in such a way as to defeat Satan. Only God can have the power of redeeming. And I do not doubt it. But I think that the Word might have lowered Himself less than He did by being born like every other man, submitting Himself to the miseries of childhood and so on. Could He not have appeared in human form already adult, in the appearance of an adult? And if He really wanted a mother, could He not have chosen one, an adoptive one as He did for a father? I think I asked Him once, but He did not reply at length, or I do not remember.»

«Ask Him! Since we are on the subject…» says Thomas.

«I won’t. I upset Him and I feel as if I have not been forgiven yet. Ask Him on my behalf.»

«I beg your pardon! We accept everything without so many clarifications and you expect us to ask questions? It is not fair!» retorts James of Zebedee.

«What is not fair?» asks Jesus.

There is silence, then the Zealot speaks on behalf of everybody repeating Judas Iscariot’s questions and the replies of the others.

«I do not bear a grudge. That is the first thing. I make the comments that I must make, I suffer and I forgive. That applies to him who is afraid, which is still the consequence of his perturbation. With regards to My real Incarnation I say: “It is just that it took place”. In future many people will make mistakes concerning My Incarnation, ascribing to Me the erroneous forms that Judas would like Me to have taken. A man seemingly solid in body, but in reality fluent like a lighting effect, so that I would and would not be flesh. And Mary’s maternity would and would not be a real maternity. I am really flesh and Mary is really the Mother of the Word Incarnate. If the hour of My birth was but an ecstasy, that is because She is the new Eve without the burden of sin and without the heritage of punishment. But I did not lower Myself by resting in Her. Was the manna enclosed in the Tabernacle perhaps humiliated? No, on the contrary it was honoured by being in that abode. Others will say that I, since I was not real flesh, did not suffer and did not die during My stay on the earth. Of course, since they cannot deny that I was here, they will deny My real Incarnation or My true Divinity. No, I am really One with the Father forever, and I am united to God as Flesh, because as a matter of fact it is possible that Love reached what is unreachable because of His Perfection, by becoming Flesh to save flesh. A reply to all these errors is given by My whole life which shed blood from birth to death and was submitted to everything that is common to man, except sin. Yes, I was born of Her. For your welfare. You do not know how much Justice has been mitigated since the Woman has become its collaborator. Have I satisfied you, Judas?»

«Yes, Master.»

«Do likewise with Me.»

The Iscariot bends his head, is abashed and perhaps he is really touched by so much kindness.

The rest is protracted in the cool shade of the apple-tree. Some fall asleep, some doze. But Mary gets up and goes back into the Grotto and Jesus follows Her…

GRM 207.11 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

I am really One with the Father forever, and I am united to God as Flesh, because as a matter of fact it is possible that Love reached what is unreachable because of His Perfection, by becoming Flesh to save flesh. A reply to all these errors is given by My whole life which shed blood from birth to death and was submitted to everything that is common to man, except sin. Yes, I was born of Her. For your welfare. You do not know how much Justice has been mitigated since the Woman has become its collaborator.

Detail

Some will claim that Jesus had no real flesh and knew neither suffering nor death. They will deny his Incarnation and his divinity. Jesus then said:

GRM 208.7-11 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

The sun is beginning to set when Bethzur appears on its hill and almost at the same time, on the secondary road they have taken to go there, they see the flocks of the shepherds and the shepherds who run to meet them. When Elias sees that Mary also is there, he lifts his arms in a gesture of surprise and remains thus, not believing his own eyes.

«Peace to you, Elias. It is I. We promised you, but it was not possible to meet in Jerusalem… Never mind, We are meeting now» says Mary kindly.

«Oh! Mother, Mother!…» Elias does not know what to say, At last he finds words: «Well, I am celebrating Passover now. It is just the same, or better still.»

«Of course, Elias. We sold well. We can kill a little lamb. Oh! Please be the guests of our poor table» beg Levi and Joseph.

«We are tired this evening, Tomorrow. Listen. Do you know a certain Eliza, the wife of Abraham of Samuel?»

«Yes. She lives in her house at Bethzur. But Abraham is dead and his sons died last year. The first one died of a disease in a few hours, and no one knows of what he died. The other died of a slow death and nothing stopped his decline. We gave her the milk of a young goat, because the doctors said it was good for him. He drank a lot of it, as all the shepherds took it to her, because the poor mother had sent people to look for whoever had a young goat giving milk for the first time in the herd. But it was of no avail. When we came back to the plain the young man would not take any food. When we came back in Adar, he had been dead two months.»

«My poor friend! She was so fond of Me in the Temple… and she was somehow related to Me through our ancestors… She was good… She left to marry Abraham, to whom she had been promised since her childhood, two years before Me and I remember when she came to offer her first-born to the Lord. She sent for Me, not only for Me, but later she wanted Me to be alone with her for some time… And now she is alone… Oh! I must make haste to comfort her! You stay here. I will go with Elias and I will enter by Myself. Sorrow demands respect…»

«Not even I, Mother?»

«Of course, always. But the others… Not even you, My little one. It would be painful for you. Come, Jesus!»

«Wait for us on the village square. Look for a shelter for the night. Goodbye» orders Jesus.

208.8

And with only Elias for company, Jesus and Mary go as far as a large house, which is completely closed and silent. The shepherd knocks at the door with his stick. A maidservant looks out of a little window asking who it is. Mary moves forward saying: «Mary of Joachim and Her Son, from Nazareth. Tell your mistress.»

«It is useless. She does not want to see anybody. She is weeping her heart out.»

«Try.»

«No. I know how she drives me away if I try to take her mind off her worries. She does not want anyone, she will not see anyone or speak to anyone. She speaks only to the memory of her sons.»

«Go, woman. I order you to go. Say to her: “Little Mary of Nazareth is here, the one who was your daughter in the Temple…”. You will see that she will be wanting Me.»

The woman goes away shaking her head. Mary explains to Her Son and to the shepherd: «Eliza was much older than I was. She was waiting in the Temple for her fiance to come back from Egypt where he had gone on inheritance matters and so she remained there up to an unusual age. She is almost ten years older than I am. The teachers used to entrust the little girls to the guidance of adult pupils… and she was My companion-teacher. She was good and… Here is the woman.»

In fact the servant thoroughly amazed rushes to open the door wide: «Come in, come in!» she says. And then in a low voice: «May You be blessed for getting her out of that room.»

Elias takes his leave and Mary enters with Her Son.

«But this man, really… For pity’s sake! He is the same age as Levi…»

«Let Him come in. He is My Son and will comfort her better than I can.»

The woman shrugs her shoulders and precedes them through the long hall of a beautiful but sad house. Everything is clean, but everything seems dead…

208.9

A tall woman, walking bowed in dark clothes, comes forward in the dim light of the hall.

«Eliza! Dear! I am Mary!» says Mary running towards her and embracing her.

«Mary? You… I thought You were dead, too. I was told… when? I don’t know… My head is empty… I was told that You died with many other mothers after the coming of the Magi. But who told me that You were the Mother of the Saviour?»

«The shepherds perhaps…»

«Oh! the shepherds!» The woman bursts into bitter tears. «Don’t mention that name. It reminds me of the last hope for Levi’s life… And yet… yes… a shepherd spoke to me of the Saviour and I killed my son taking him to the place where they said the Messiah was, near the Jordan. But there was nobody there… and my son arrived back in time to die… Fatigue, cold… I killed him… But I had no intention of being a murderer. I was told that He, the Messiah, cured diseases… and that is why I did it… Now my son accuses me of killing him…»

«No, Eliza. It is you that think so. Listen. I instead think that your son has taken Me by the hand saying: “Come to my dear mother. Take the Saviour to her. I am happier here than I would be on the earth. But she listens only to her weeping, and she cannot hear the words that I whisper to her with my kisses, poor mother, she is like a woman possessed by a demon who wants her to surrender to despair, because he wants us to be divided. If instead she resigns herself and believes that God does everything for a good purpose, we would be united for good, with our father and brother. Jesus can do it”. And I came… with Him… Do you not wish to see Him?…» Mary has spoken holding the poor wretch in Her arms all the time, kissing her grey hair with unparalleled kindness.

«Oh! if it were true! But, why then did Daniel not come to You, to tell You to come sooner?… But who told me some time ago that You were dead? I don’t remember… I don’t remember… That is another reason why perhaps I waited too long to go to the Messiah. But they said that He, You, everybody had died at Bethlehem…»

«Never mind who said so.

208.10

Come here, look, My Son is here. Come to Him. Make your children and your Mary happy. Do you know that we suffer seeing you thus?» And She leads her towards Jesus Who is standing in a dark corner and only now comes forward, under a lamp that the maidservant has placed on top of a tall coffer.

The poor mother raises her head… and I now see that she is the Eliza who was also on Calvary with the pious women. Jesus stretches out His hands in a gesture of loving invitation. The poor wretch hesitates a moment, then she entrusts her own hands to His and finally, all of a sudden, she throws herself on to Jesus’ chest, moaning: «Tell me, tell me that I am not guilty of Levi’s death! Tell me that they are not lost forever! Tell me that I will soon be with them!…»

«Yes, I will. Listen. They are now exulting because you are in My arms. I will soon be going to them, and what shall I tell them? That you are not resigning yourself to the Lord? Shall I tell them that? The women of Israel, the women of David, so strong, so wise, are to be given the lie by you? No. You are suffering, because you suffered all alone. Your grief and you. You and your grief. One cannot endure it thus. Are you no longer bearing in mind the words[2] of hope for those whom death has taken away from us? “I mean to raise you from your graves and lead you back to the soil of Israel. And you will know that I am the Lord when I open your graves and raise you from your graves. When I put My spirit in you, you will live”. The soil of Israel, for the just sleeping in the Lord, is the Kingdom of God. I will open it and give it to those who are waiting.»

«Also to my Daniel? And to my Levi?… He was so horrified at death!… He could not stand the idea of being far from his mother. That is why I wanted to die and be buried beside him…»

«But they were not there with their living parts. Only dead things were there and they could not hear you. They are in the place of expectation…»

«But does it really exist? Oh! Do not be scandalised at me. My memory has turned into tears! My head is full of the noise of the weeping and death-rattle of my sons. That death-rattle! That death-rattle. It has dissolved my brains. I have but that death-rattle in here…»

«And I will put the words of life there for you. I will sow the Life, because I am Life, where there is the din of death. Remember the great Judas Maccabee who wanted a sacrifice offered for the dead, rightly thinking that they are destined to rise again and that it is necessary to hasten their peace by means of suitable sacrifices. If Judas Maccabee had not been certain of their resurrection, would he have prayed and made people pray for the dead? As it is written[3], he thought that a great reward is set aside for those who die piously, as your sons certainly did… See, you are saying yes? So do not despair. But pray devoutly for your dead ones, that their sins may be expiated before I go to them. Then, without waiting for a moment, they will come to Heaven with Me. Because I am the Way, the Truth and the Life and I lead, and I speak the Truth and I give Life to those who believe in My Truth and follow Me. Tell Me. Did your sons believe in the coming of the Messiah?»

«Of course, my Lord. I taught them to believe that.»

«And did Levi believe that if I wanted I could cure him?»

«Yes, My Lord. We hoped in You… but it was of no avail… and he died disheartened after hoping so much…» The woman resumes weeping again more calmly but more desolately in her calm than when she was agitated.

«Do not say that it was of no avail. He who believes in Me, even if he is dead, will live forever…

208.11

Night is falling, woman. I will join My apostles. I leave My Mother with you…»

«Oh! Will you please stay as well!… I am afraid that if You go away, my torture will begin again… The storm is just beginning to calm at the sound of Your words…»

«Do not be afraid! You have Mary with you. I will come again tomorrow. I have something to tell the shepherds. Can I tell them to approach your house?…»

«Oh! Yes. They used to come for my son last year too… Behind the house there is an orchard and a rustic yard. They can go there as they used to do then, to keep the flock together…»

«All right. I will come. Be good. Remember that Mary in the Temple was entrusted to You. I entrust Her to you as well tonight.»

«Yes, do not worry. I will look after Her… I will have to see Her supper, to Her rest… For how long I have never thought of these things! Mary, will You sleep in my room, as Levi did when he was ill? I in my son’s bed, You in mine. And I will feel as if I heard his light breathing again… He always held me by the hand…»

«Yes, Eliza. But before we shall speak of many things.»

«No. You are tired. You must sleep.»

«You, too…»

«Oh! It is I who have not slept for months… I weep… and weep… I can do nothing else…»

«This evening, instead, we shall pray, and then we shall go to bed and you will sleep… We shall sleep holding each other’s hand. You may go, Son, and pray for us…»

«I bless you. Peace to you and to this house!»

And Jesus goes away with the maidservant who is dumbfounded and keeps repeating: «What a miracle, my Lord! What a miracle! After so many months she has spoken, she has reasoned… Oh! what a wonderful thing!… They were saying that she would die insane… And I was sorry, because she is good.»

«Yes, she is good and that is why God will help her. Goodbye, woman. Peace to you too.»

Jesus goes out on to the almost dark street and it all ends.

Detail

A real-life case of a mother who has lost her two children to illness. Jesus comes to console her with the Virgin Mary.

Annotation

Elise was much older than me. About ten years. So she's in her early sixties.

When we returned in the month of Adar, he had been dead for two moons. The month of Addar is in February/March.

Have you no longer kept in mind the words of hope about those whom death has taken from us? "I will take you out of your graves and bring you back to the land of Israel. Then you will know that I am the Lord, when I open your graves and bring you up from your tombs. I will put my spirit within you and you will live. " See Ezekiel 37:11-14 below.

Remember the great Judas Maccabaeus, who wanted to make a sacrifice for the dead, because he rightly believed that they are destined to rise again and that the hour of peace must be hastened for them by timely sacrifices. If Judas Maccabaeus had not been certain of the resurrection, would he have prayed and had others pray for the dead? He, on the contrary, as it is written, thought that a great reward was reserved for those who die piously, as your sons surely did... See the second book of Maccabees 12, 43-46 below.

Book of Ezekiel 37, 11-14

Ezek 37, 11-14 : And he said to me, "Son of man, these bones are all the house of Israel. Behold, they say, 'Our bones are dry, our hope is dead, we are lost! Therefore prophesy and say to them: Thus says the Lord Yahweh: Behold, I will open your graves, and raise you up from your graves, O my people, and bring you back to the land of Israel. And you will know that I am Yahweh, when I open your graves and raise you up from your graves, O my people. I will put my Spirit within you, and you will live; and I will give you rest on your soil, and you will know that I, Yahweh, say and do, - oracle of Yahweh!"

Second Book of Maccabees 12, 43-45

2 M 12, 43-46 : Then, having collected the sum of two thousand drachmas, he sent it to Jerusalem to be used for an expiatory sacrifice. A fine and noble deed, inspired by the thought of the resurrection! For if he had not believed that the soldiers killed in battle would rise again, it would have been useless and vain to pray for the dead. 45 Moreover, he considered that a very fine reward is reserved for those who fall asleep in piety, and this is a holy and pious thought. This is why he made this atoning sacrifice for the dead, so that they might be delivered from their sins.

GRM 209.3 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

The maidservant opens the door. Jesus goes in while the servant repeatedly bows to Him.

«Where is your mistress?»

«With Your Mother… and, just imagine! she has come down into the garden! How wonderful! How wonderful! And yesterday evening she came into the dining room… She was weeping, but she came. I would have liked her to take some food, instead of the usual drop of milk, but I was not successful!»

«She will take it. Do not insist. Be also patient in your love for your mistress.»

«Yes, my Saviour. I will do everything You tell me.»

I think, in fact, that if Jesus told the woman to do the strangest things, she would do them without objecting, because she is so convinced that Jesus is Jesus and that everything He does is right. In the meantime she takes Him into a large kitchen garden, full of fruit-trees and of flowers. But if the fruit-trees have begun by themselves to come into leaf and blossom, to set the fruit and make them grow, the poor flower plants, neglected for over a whole year, have become a miniature forest, which is so entangled that the weaker and lower plants are suffocated beneath the weight of the stronger ones. Flower-beds and paths no longer exist as they have become one chaotic tangle. There is some order only at the end of the garden where the maidservant has sown salads and vegetables for her own use.

Mary is there with Eliza under a very ruffled pergola, the shoots and tendrils of which reach down to the ground. Jesus stops and looks at His young Mother, Who with most refined art awakes and directs Eliza’s mind to things completely different from what up to yesterday were the thoughts of the afflicted woman.

The servant approaches her mistress and says: «The Saviour has come.»

The women turn around and come towards Him, one with Her sweet smile, the other looking tired and bewildered.

«Peace be with you. This garden is beautiful…»

«It was beautiful…» says Eliza.

«And the soil is fertile. Look how much beautiful fruit is about to ripen! And how many flowers on the rose bushes! And over there? Are they lilies?»

«Yes, they are, round a fountain where my children used to play so much.But then it was tidy… Now everything is ruined here. And it no longer seems the garden of my sons.»

«In a few days it will be as it was before. I will help you. Is that right, Jesus? You will leave Me here for a few days with Eliza. We have so much to do…» says Mary.

«What You want, I want.»

Eliza looks at Him and whispers: «Thank You.»

Jesus caresses her white hair and then takes His leave to go to the shepherds.

GRM 214.4 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

«Here is the Mother, the Mother with Simon!» trills the boy who sees Mary and Simon climbing the staircase leading up to the terrace where the room is.

They all stand up and go towards the two who have just arrived. There is the noise of exclamations, of greetings, of seats moved about. But nothing diverts Mary from greeting first Jesus and then Judas’ mother, who has bowed down deeply, and whom Mary raises again embracing her as if she were a dear friend met after a long absence.

They go back into the room and Mary of Judas tells the maidservant to bring in fresh food for the new guests.

GRM 214.4 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

«Here, Son, Eliza’s greetings» says Mary, handing a small parchment roll to Jesus Who unfolds it and reads it, then says: «I knew. I was sure. Thank You, Mother. On My behalf and on Eliza’s. You really are the health of the sick!»

«I? You, Son. Not I.»

«You; and You are My greatest help.» He then turns to the apostles and women disciples and says: «Eliza writes: “Come back, my Peace. I want not only to love You, but to serve You”. So we have relieved a creature of her anguish and melancholy, and we have gained a disciple. Yes, we will go back.»

«She wishes to meet also the women disciples. She is recovering slowy, but without relapsing. Poor Eliza! She still undergoes moments of frightful bewilderment. Does she not, Simon? One day she wanted to try to come out with Me, but she saw a friend of Daniel’s… and we had great difficulty in calming her weeping. But Simon is so clever! And since Eliza expressed the desire to return to the world, but the world of Bethzur is too full of memories for her, Simon suggested we should call Johanna. And he went to call her. After the feast she went back to Bether, to her magnificent rose-garden in Judaea. Simon says that he seemed to be dreaming, while crossing the hills covered with rose-bushes, that he was already in Paradise. She came at once. She is in a position to understand and pity a mother mourning her sons! Eliza has become very fond of her and I came away. Johanna wants to persuade her to leave Bethzur and go to her castle. And she will succeed because she is as sweet as a dove but as firm as a rock in her decisions.»

«We shall go to Bethzur on our way back and then we shall part. You women disciples will stay with Eliza and Johanna for some time. We will go through Judaea and we shall meet in Jerusalem for Pentecost»…

Annotation

Come back, my Peace. I want not only to love you but to serve you. These words follow Jesus’ presence in EMV 208 and EMV 209. Mary then remained in Bet-Çur starting with EMV 210.

You are my greatest help. Jesus indeed desires that everyone help him save sinners and spread the Good News in people’s hearts. In this case, it is an example of Mary’s assistance in Jesus’ apostolate.

GRM 214.5-7 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

The Most Holy Virgin Mary and Mary, Judas’ mother, are together. They are not in the town house, but in the country one. They are alone. The apostles are outside with Jesus, the women disciples and the boy are in the magnificent apple-orchard and their voices can be heard together with the noise of clothes beaten on washboards. They are perhaps doing the washing while the boy is playing.

Judas’ mother, sitting in a dim-lit room beside Mary, is speaking

to Her: «These peaceful days will be like a dream to me. Too short! Yes, too short! I know that we must not be selfish and that it is fair that You should go to that poor woman and to so many other unhappy people. But I wish I could!… I wish I could spare the time, or come with You!… But I cannot. I have no relatives apart from my son and I must look after the property of the family…»

«I understand… It is painful to part from one’s son. We mothers would always like to be with our children. But we are giving them for a great cause, and we will not lose them. Not even death can take our sons away from us, if they and we are in grace in the eyes of God. But ours are still on the earth, even if by the will of God they are torn from our bosoms to be given to the world for its good. We can always join them and even the echo of their deeds is like a caress to our hearts, because their deeds are the scent of their souls.»

214.6

«What is Your Son to You, Woman?» asks Mary of Judas in a low voice.

And the Most Holy Mary replies promptly: «He is My joy.»

«Your joy!!!…» and then Judas’ mother bursts into tears and lowers her head to hide them. She bows so low as to almost touch her knees with her forehead.

«Why are you weeping, my poor friend? Why? Tell Me. I am happy in My maternity, but I can also understand those mothers who are not happy…»

«Yes. Not happy! And I am one of them. Your Son is Your joy… Mine is my grief. At least he has been so. Now, since he has been with Your Son, I am not so worried. Oh! of all those who pray for Your holy Son, for His welfare and triumph, there is no one, after You, Blessed Woman, who prays so much as this unhappy mother who is speaking to You… Tell me the truth: what do You think of my son? We are two mothers, one facing the other, between us there is God. And we are speaking of our sons. It can be but easy for You to speak of Yours. I… I have to strive against myself to speak of mine. And yet, how much good, or how much grief, can come to me from this conversation! And even if it is grief, it will always be a relief to speak about it… That woman of Bethzur became almost insane when her sons died, did she not? But I swear it to You, sometimes I have thought and still think, looking at my Judas who is handsome, healthy, intelligent, but he is not good, not virtuous, not righteous in his soul, not sound in his feeling, I often think that I would prefer to mourn him dead rather than know that he is disliked by God. But tell me, what do You think of my son? Be frank. This question has been tormenting my heart for over a year. But whom could I ask? The citizens? They did not yet know that the Messiah existed and that Judas wanted to go with Him. I knew. He told me when he came here after Passover, elated, violent, as usual, when he has a sudden fancy, and as usual, scornful of his mother’s advice. His friends in Jerusalem? A holy prudence and a pious hope prevented me. I did not want to say: “Judas is following the Messiah” to those whom I cannot love because they are everything but saints. And I hoped that his fancy notion would vanish, like many others, like all of them, even at the cost of tears and desolation, as happened in the case of more than one girl whom he charmed here and elsewhere, but never married. Do you know that there are places where he will no longer go because he may receive a fair punishment? Also his being of the Temple was a whim. He does not know what he wants. Never. His father, may God forgive him, spoiled him. I never had any authority on the two men in my house. I could but weep and make amends with all kinds of humiliation… When Johanna died — and although no one told me, I know that she died of a broken heart when Judas told her that he did not want to get married, after she had been waiting for all her youth, whereas everybody knew that in Jerusalem he had sent friends to a very rich woman who owned stores as far as Cyprus to enquire about her daughter — I had to shed many bitter tears, because of the reproaches of the dead girl’s mother, as if I were an accomplice of my son. No. I am not. I have no authority over him. Last year, when the Master came here, I realised that He had understood… and I was about to speak. But it is painful, very painful for a mother to have to say: “Be careful of my son. He is greedy, hard-hearted, vicious, proud and inconstant”. And that is what he is. I am praying that Your Son, Who works so many miracles, may work one for my Judas… But tell me, please tell me, what do You think of him?»

214.7

Mary, Who has been silent all the time, with an expression of pitiful sorrow while listening to that maternal lament of which Her righteous soul cannot disapprove, says in a low voice: «Poor mother!… What do I think? Yes, your son is not the limpid soul of John, nor the meek Andrew, not the firm Matthew who wanted to change and did change… He is… inconsistent, yes, he is. But we shall pray so hard for him, both you and I. Do not weep. Perhaps your motherly love, which would like to be proud of your son, makes you see him more perverted than he is…»

«No! No! I see right and I am so afraid.» The room is full of the weeping of Judas’ mother and in the half-light Mary’s white face has become even paler because of the maternal confession that sharpens all the suspicions of the Lord’s Mother. But She controls Herself. She draws the unhappy mother to herself and caresses her while she, abandoning all reservedness, painfully and confusedly informs Mary of all the harshness, pretensions and violence of Judas and concludes: «I blush for him when I see I am the object of the loving attention of Your Son! I have not asked Him. But I am sure that besides doing it out of kindness, He wants to say to Judas by means of His loving attention: “Remember that this is how a mother is to be treated”. Now, for the time being he appears to be good… Oh! If it were only true! Help me, help me with Your prayers, You Who are holy, so that my son may not be unworthy of the grace that God granted him! If he does not want to love me, if he cannot be grateful to me, who gave birth to him and brought him up, it does not matter. But let him really love Jesus; let him serve Him loyally and gratefully. But if that cannot be then… then may God take his life. I would rather have him in a sepulchre… at last I would have him because since he reached the age of reason he was hardly ever mine. Better dead than a bad apostle. Can I pray for that? What do You say?»

«Pray the Lord that He may do what is best. Do not weep any more. I have seen prostitutes and Gentiles at the feet of My Son, and publicans and sinners with them. They all became lambs through His Grace. Hope, Mary, hope. The grief of mothers saves their sons, do you not know that?…»

And everything ends on that pitiful question.