The boats of the apostles, after crossing the short stretch of the lake between Capernaum and Bethsaida, land in the latter town. Other boats have followed them and many people come off them to join the people of Bethsaida who have come to greet the Master. Jesus enters Peter’s house where his wife is staying once again. I suppose she has preferred to be alone rather than live with her mother who continuously grumbles about her husband.
Outside the crowds claim Jesus at the top of their voices, which disturbs Peter very much, so much so that he goes up to the roof terrace and harangues the citizens telling them that they ought to have respect and manners. He would like to enjoy the company of his Master for a little while, in peace, now that he has Him in his house, whereas he has neither the time nor the pleasure to offer Him some water and honey among the many things he asked his wife to offer. And he grumbles…
Jesus looks at him smiling and shakes His head saying: «You would think that you never see Me and that we have just met by chance!»
«But it is so! When we are in the world are You and I ever together? Never in your life! Between You and me there is the world with its sick people, its distressed people, its listeners, its curious people, its slanderers, its enemies, and You and I are never together. Here instead You are with me, in my house, and they ought to understand that!» He is really upset.
«But I do not see the difference, Simon. My love is the same and My word is the same. Whether I tell you privately, or I tell everybody, what difference does it make?»
179.3
Peter then confesses his great grief: «The trouble is that I am a blockhead and my mind wanders easily. When You speak in a square, on a mountain, amongst a large crowd, I understand everything, but I do not know why, I remember nothing. I told also my companions and they say that I am right. Other people, I mean the people who listen to You, understand You and remember what You say. How often have we heard someone say: “I have no longer done that because You told us”, or: “I came because once I heard You say so and so I was impressed by it”. We instead… hum! it’s like a water course which passes by and does not stop. The river bank no longer has the water that has passed by. It is true that other water comes, a great deal of it, but it passes by, it passes by… And I am terrified at the thought that, if what You say will come true, the moment will come when You will no longer be there to play the part of the river and… and I… What will I give to those who are thirsty if I cannot save even one drop of the great lot You give me?»
Also the others support Peter’s moaning, complaining that they are left with nothing of what they hear, whilst they would like to remember everything to reply to those who ask them questions.
Jesus smiles and replies: «I do not think so. People are very satisfied with you as well…»
«Certainly… of course! For all we do! Make room for You, by elbowing our way through the crowds, carrying sick people, collecting alms and saying: “Yes, that is the Master!”. Wonderful, isn’t it?»
«Do not defame yourself too much, Simon.»
«I am not defaming myself. I know myself.»
«That is the most difficult wisdom. But I wish to relieve you of your great fear. When I speak and you cannot understand and remember everything, ask Me without any fear of boring or discouraging Me. We always have some hours of privacy, when you can open your hearts to Me. I give so much to so many. And what would I not give you whom I love so much that God could not love you more? You spoke of waves that pass by and nothing is left on the bank. The day will come when you will realise that every wave has deposited a seed and that a plant has grown from every seed. You will find in front of you flowers and plants for all occasions and you will be amazed at yourself saying: “What has the Lord done to me?” because you will then be redeemed from the slavery of sin and your present virtues will have reached a great height of perfection.»
«You say so, my Lord, and I rest upon Your word.»