Thomas (apostle) in “Saints, venerable and blessed of the Catholic Church” (page 8/12)

GRM 187.1-3 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

Jesus dismisses the boats saying: «I am not coming back» and followed by His apostles, and across the area which appeared to be very fertile also from the opposite shore, He turns His steps towards a mountain, which appears towards the south-west.
The apostles are walking in silence, communicating with one another only by casting glances. In fact they are not enthusiastic for the journey across this beautiful but wild area, which is full of bog grass that gets entangled with their feet; of reeds that cause drizzle of dew to fall on their heads from the edges of the leaves; of hazels that strike their faces with the hard canes of their dry fruit; of willow trees the fragile branches of which hang down everywhere tickling them; of treacherous patches of grass that seems to be growing on solid ground, whereas it conceals puddles of water into which their feet sink, they are in fact patches of foxtails and tares, growing in tiny pools and so thick as to conceal the element in which they have come up.
Jesus, instead, seems to be extremely happy in the midst of all that greenery and the thousand hues of all the flowers, which creep on the ground, or stand upright, or cling to other plants to climb up, forming thin festoons strewn with light convolvuli of a very delicate mallow pink, or forming delicate blue carpets for the thousand corollas of water myosotises, which open the perfect cups of white, pink, blue corollas among the large flat
leaves of the water lilies. Jesus admires the tufts of the water reeds, as soft as silk and pearled with dew, and He bends joyfully to watch the delicate features of foxtails, which lay an emerald veil on the water. He stops ecstatically in front of the nests which the birds are building, flying happily to and fro, trilling, darting from branch to branch, working joyfully, with their beaks full of wisps of hay, of down of reeds, of flocks of wool picked on hedges, which had torn it from migrating sheep… He seems the happiest person in the world. Where is the world with its wickedness, falsehood, sorrows, snares? The world is beyond this green flowery oasis, where everything scents, shines, smiles, sings. This is the earth created by the Father and not desecrated by man and man can be forgotten here.
187.2
He wants to share His happiness with the others. But He does not find a favourable ground. The hearts of the apostles are tired and embittered by so much ill-will and they react against things and also against the Master by means of a stubborn silence, which is like the stillness of the air before a storm. Only His cousin James, the Zealot and John take an interest in what interests Jesus. All the others are… absent, if not hostile. Perhaps they are keeping quiet, not to grumble. But inside they must be speaking, and speaking too much.
It is a more lively exclamation of admiration before the living jewel of a kingfisher which flies down, taking a little silver fish to its mate, that makes them open their mouths.
Jesus says: «Can there be anything more gentle?»
Peter replies: «Perhaps not more gentle… but I can assure You that a boat is more comfortable. Here it is damp just the same, but we are not comfortable…»
«I would prefer the track for caravans to this… garden, if You wish to call it so, and I am in full agreement with Simon» says the Iscariot.
«It was you who did not want the caravan route» replies Jesus.
«Ehi! certainly… But I would not have given in to the Gherghesenes. I would have gone away from there, but I would have continued beyond the river to Gadara, Pella and down to the south» grumbles Bartholomew.
And his great friend Philip concludes: «The roads belong to everybody, after all, and we could have passed through them well.»
«My friends! I am so anguished and disgusted… Do not increase My grief with your pettiness! Let Me seek some comfort in things which do not know how to hate…»
The reproach, kind in its sadness, moves the apostles.
«You are right, Master. We are not worthy of You. Forgive our foolishness. You can see the beautiful, because You are holy You look with the eyes of Your heart. We are coarse flesh and can only perceive coarse flesh… But never mind. Believe me, even if we were in paradise, we would be sad without You. But with You… oh! it is always beautiful for our hearts. It is only our limbs that refuse» many of them whisper.
187.3
«We will soon be going out of here and will find a more comfortable ground, even if not so cool» promises Jesus.
«Where are we going exactly?» asks Peter.
«To give Passover to those who suffer. I have been wanting to do it for a long time. But I could not. I would have done it going back to Galilee. Now that they compel us to go along roads that we have not chosen, I am going to bless Jonah’s poor friends.»
«We will be wasting a lot of time! Passover is near! There are always delays for various reasons.» Another chorus of complaints rises to the sky. I do not know how Jesus can be so patient…
Without reproaching anyone He says: «Please, do not hinder Me! Endeavour to understand My need to love and to be loved. I have but this solace on the earth: to love and do the will of God.»
«And are we going from here? Was it not better to go from Nazareth?»
«If I had suggested that, you would have rebelled. No one will suspect that I am here… and I am doing it for you… because you are afraid.»
«Afraid? Ah! No! We are ready to fight for You.»
«Pray the Lord not to put you to the test. I know that you are quarrelsome, resentful, anxious to offend those who offend Me and to humble your neighbour. I know all that. But I do not know you to be brave. As far as I am concerned, I would have also gone by Myself and along the main road and nothing would have happened because it is not yet the time. But I feel sorry for you. I have to obey My Mother, yes, but I do not want to upset Simon the Pharisee. I will not disgust them. But they will disgust Me.»
«And where do we go from here? I am not familiar with this area» says Thomas.
«We will reach Tabor, we will coast part of it and will go to Nain via Endor; from there to the plain of Esdraelon. Be not afraid!… Doras, the son of Doras, and Johanan are already in Jerusalem.»

Keywords

GRM 187.3-4 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

«And where do we go from here? I am not familiar with this area» says Thomas.
«We will reach Tabor, we will coast part of it and will go to Nain via Endor; from there to the plain of Esdraelon. Be not afraid!… Doras, the son of Doras, and Johanan are already in Jerusalem.»
187.4
«Oh! It will be beautiful! They say that from the summit, from a certain spot, one can see the Great Sea, the Sea of Rome. I like it so much! Will You take us to see it?» John begs with his kind childish face raised towards Jesus.
«Why do you like to see it so much?» asks Jesus caressing him.
«I do not know… Because it is huge and you cannot see its end… It makes me think of God… When we were up on Lebanon I saw the sea for the first time, because I had never been anywhere else, except along the Jordan or on our little sea… and I was moved so much that I wept. So much blue! So much water! And it never overflows!… What a wonderful thing! And the stars make paths of light on the sea… Oh! do not laugh at me! I looked at the golden way of the sun until I was dazzled, at the silvery way of the moon, until I could see nothing but whiteness and I saw them getting lost far far away. Those ways spoke to me. They said: “God is in that infinite distance and these are the ways of fire and purity, which a soul must follow to go to God. Come. Dive into the infinite, travelling on these two ways, and you will find the Infinite One”.»
«You are a poet, John» says Thaddeus admiringly.
«I do not know whether this is poetry. I know that it inflames my heart.»
«But you have seen the sea also at Caesarea and at Ptolomais, and quite close, too. We were on the beach! I do not see the need to go all that way to see some more sea water. After all… we were born on the water…» remarks James of Zebedee.
«And we are in it now as well, unfortunately!» exclaims Peter, who diverting his mind for a moment to listen to John, has not noticed a treacherous puddle and has got soaked… They all laugh, and he laughs too.
But John replies: «That is true. But from high above it is more beautiful. You see more and farther. You think that it is deeper and vaster… You wish… you dream…» and John is already dreaming… He looks in front of himself and smiles at his dream… He looks like a flesh-coloured rose spread with minute dew drops, so downy becomes his smooth clear skin of a young fair-haired man and as it gets sprinkled with a light perspiration it looks more like the petal of a rose.
«What do you wish? What are you dreaming?» Jesus asks His favourite disciple in a low voice and He looks like a father who questions a dear son speaking in his sleep. Jesus speaks to John’s soul, questioning him so gently as not to spoil the dream of His loving disciple.
«I wish to go onto the infinite sea… towards other lands beyond it. I wish to go and speak of You. I am dreaming… of going towards Rome, towards Greece, towards dark places to take the Light there… so that those living in darkness may get in touch with You and may live in communion with You, Light of the world… I am dreaming of a better world… to be bettered through the knowledge of You, that is, through the knowledge of the Love that makes people good, pure, heroic, of the Love that makes the world love and raise Your Name, Your Faith, Your Doctrine above hatred, sin, flesh, above the vices of the mind, above gold, above everything… and I dream of going with my brothers on the sea of God, on the road of light to take You… as Your Mother once brought You down to us from Heaven… I dream that I am a child, who knowing nothing but love, is happy also when facing trouble… and sings to comfort the adults who ponder too much, and moves forward… facing death smiling… towards glory with the humility of one who does not know what he is doing, but knows only that he is coming to You, Love…»
The apostles have not breathed during John’s ecstatic confessions… They remained still where they were, looking at the youngest one speaking with his eyes covered by his eyelids, like a veil thrown over the ardour rising from his heart, and looking at Jesus Who is enraptured finding Himself so completely in His disciple…
When John stops speaking, slightly bent forward – he reminds me of the gracefulness of the humble Mary of Nazareth – Jesus kisses his forehead saying: «We shall go and contemplate the sea, to let you dream My future Kingdom in the world once again.»

Keywords

GRM 188.1 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

Jesus and the apostles have passed Mount Tabor and left it behind them. They are now walking on a plain lying between that mountain and another one facing it, talking of the climb made by them all, although at the beginning the elder ones had not been too keen. But now they are happy they had gone up to the top. The journey is now easy because they are on a main road which is quite comfortable for walking. It is early in the morning because I am under the impression that they have spent the night on the slopes of the Tabor.
«That is Endor» says Jesus pointing to a poor village built on the first heights of the other mountain. «Do you really want to go there?»
«If You wish to make me happy…» responds the Iscariot.
«Let us go, then.»
«But is it a long way?» asks Bartholomew, who, because of his age, is not very keen on walking tours.
«Oh! no! But if you wish to stay…» says Jesus.
«Yes! You may stay. I will go with the Master» says Judas of Kerioth immediately.
«Listen, before making up my mind, I would like to know what there is to be seen… From the top of Mount Tabor we saw the sea and after the boy’s speech I must admit that I saw it properly for the first time and I saw it as You see: with my heart. Here… I would like to know whether there is anything to learn, because in that case I will come even if it is tiresome…» says Peter.
«Do you hear that? You have not yet said what you intend doing. Be kind to your companions and tell us now» says Jesus invitingly.
«Did Saul not go to Endor[1] to consult the necromancer?»
«Yes, he did. So?»
«Well, Master, I would like to go there and hear You speak of Saul.»
«In that case I will come, too!» exclaims Peter full of enthusiasm.
«Let us go then.»
They walk fast along the last stretch of the main road, which they leave to follow a secondary road, which takes straight to Endor.

Detail

Emphasis on Bartholomew, Judas, Philip and Simon Peter. The other apostles are present.

Keywords

GRM 188.2-3 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

«We will now ask where the place of the necromancer was» says Jesus. And He stops a woman who is coming back from the fountain with pitchers.
She looks at Him curiously, then replies impolitely: «I don’t know. I have much more important things to worry about than such nonsense!» and she goes away.
Jesus turns to an old man who is carving a bit of wood.
«The necromancer?… Saul?… Who bothers about them now? But, wait… There is one here who has studied and perhaps he knows… Come with me.»
And the old man climbs laboriously up a stony lane to a very poor and shabby looking house. «He lives here. I will go in and call him.»
Peter, pointing at some poultry scratching about in a dirty yard, says: «This fellow is not an Israelite.» But he says no more because the old man comes back followed by a man blind in one eye, who is as dirty and untidy as everything around his house.
The old man says: «See? This man says that it is over there beyond that dilapidated house. There is a path, a stream, a wood and some caves, the one at the top, where there are still traces of ruined walls on one side, is the one you are looking for. Is that right?»
«No. You have muddled everything. I will go with these strangers.» The man’s voice is harsh and guttural, which increases everybody’s feeling of uneasiness.
188.3 He starts walking. Peter, Philip and Thomas make repeated signs to Jesus to advise Him not to go. But Jesus does not pay attention. He walks with Judas behind the man, and the others follow Him… unwillingly.

Detail

Judas wants to hear about the pythia who spoke to King Saul in the Old Testament. They are led to a house.

Keywords

GRM 188.7 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

They come out of the ruins and they begin to descend the path they had walked up previously. The man blind in one eye is still there.
«Are you still here?» asks Jesus pretending that He does not notice that his face is flushed because of the many tears he has shed.
«Yes, I am still here. I will follow You if You allow me. I have something to tell you…»
«Come with Me, then. What do you want to tell Me?»
«Jesus… I find that to have the strength to speak and to work the holy magic of changing myself, of conjuring up my dead soul as the necromancer evoked Samuel for Saul, I must pronounce Your Name, which is as sweet as Your eyes, and as holy as Your voice. You have given me a new life, but it lacks form and energy, like the life of a new-born baby after a difficult birth. It still struggles in the grip of wicked old habits. Help me to come out of my death.»
«Yes, My friend.»
«I… I have realised that there is still a little humanity in my heart. I am not entirely a beast, and I can still love and be loved, forgive and be forgiven. Your love, which is forgiveness, has taught me. Is it not so?»
«Yes, My friend.»
«Then… take me with You. I was Felix! What irony! But give me a new name. That my past may be really dead. I will follow You like a stray dog, which finally finds a master. I will be Your slave, if You wish so. But do not leave me alone…»
«Yes, My friend.»
«What name will You give me?»
«A name dear to Me: John. Because you are grace granted by God.»
«Will You take me with You?»
«Yes, for the time being. Later you will follow Me with My disciples. But what about your house?»
«I have no house any longer. I will leave what I have to the poor. Just give me love and bread.»
«Come.» Jesus turns around and calls His apostles. «I thank you, My friends, and you in particular, Judas. Through you, Judas, through you all, a soul is coming to God. Here is a new disciple. He is coming with us until we can entrust him to our brother disciples. Be happy because you have found a heart and bless God with Me.»
But the Twelve do not really look very happy. But out of obedience and kindness they welcome him.
«If You do not mind I will go ahead. You will find me at the door of my house.»
«Yes, go.»
The man runs away. He seems another man.
«And now that we are by ourselves I order you, and this is an order, to be kind to him and not to mention his past to anybody. I will immediately reject anyone who should speak or be uncharitable to our redeemed brother. Is that clear? And see how good the Lord is! We came here for a human purpose and He allowed us to go away after achieving a supernatural deed. Oh! I rejoice because of the joy now in Heaven for the new convert.»

Detail

Jean d'En-Dor converts and Jesus introduces him to the Twelve, who are less than thrilled. Jesus gives special thanks here to Judas, for it was because of him that they came to this village and got to know him.

Annotation

I command you to be kind to him and not to speak of his past to anyone. Judas Iscariot did just that, however, when he denounced the presence of a galley slave (John of Gold) and a runaway slave (Syntica) to the Sanhedrin. This led to their exile to Antioch in Syria. Cf. EMV 314 ff.

Keywords

GRM 189.1 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

Nain must have been a town of some importance in the days of Jesus. It is not a large town, but is well built, surrounded by its walls, lying on a low pleasant hill, an off shoot of the Little Hermon, commanding a very fertile plain which stretches towards the north-east.
One arrives here coming from Endor, after crossing a little river, which flows into the Jordan. But neither the Jordan nor its valley can be seen any longer, because they are concealed by hills which form an arch shaped like a question mark in the east.
Jesus follows a main road which links the lake region to the Hermon and its villages. Many inhabitants of Endor walk behind Him talking to one another animatedly.
Only a short distance separates the group of the apostles from the walls: about two hundred yards, at the most. And as the main road runs straight to one of the town gates, which is wide open because it is broad daylight, it is possible to see what is happening in the inner side of the walls. Thus Jesus, Who is speaking to the apostles and the new convert, sees a funeral coming towards them, with a great noise of weepers and similar eastern displays.
«Shall we go and see, Master?» ask many. And many of the inhabitants of Endor are already rushing to see.
«Yes, let us go» says Jesus condescendingly.
«Oh! It must be a boy. See how many flowers and ribbons there are on the stretcher» says Judas of Kerioth to John.
«Or it is probably a virgin» replies John.
«No, it is certainly a young man, because of the shades they have used. And there is no myrtle either…» says Bartholomew.
The funeral comes out from the other side of the walls. It is not possible to see what there is on the stretcher, which is carried shoulder high by the bearers. One understands that there is a corpse, wrapped in bandages and covered by a sheet, only because of its outline and that it is the body of a fully grown person, because it is as long as the stretcher.
A veiled woman is walking beside it, weeping, supported by relatives or friends. The only sincere tears in all that farce of mourners. And when a bearer trips on a stone or heap in the ground or stumbles and causes the stretcher to shake, the mother moans: «Oh! No! Be careful! My boy has suffered so much!» and she raises her trembling hand to caress the edge of the stretcher. And as she is unable to do anything else, she kisses the veils and the ribbons, which blown by a gentle breeze lightly touch the immobile corpse.
Peter, sympathetic, his good keen eyes welling up with tears whispers: «She is the mother.» But he is not the only one whose eyes are shining with tears at the sight. Also the Zealot, Andrew, John, and even the ever merry Thomas have tears in their eyes. They are all deeply moved. Judas Iscariot whispers: «If it were I! Oh! Poor mother of mine…»

Detail

The two James, Matthew, Philip and Jude are not mentioned in this passage, but they are present. They go to Naim.

Annotation

- Oh, it must be a child, because you see how many flowers and ribbons are on the litter? says Judas to John.

- Or maybe it's a virgin," replies Jean.

- No, it must be a young boy, because of the colors they've used, and there are no myrtles..." says Barthélemy.

So many indications of the funeral rites in use at the time. Judas of Judea and Bartholomew of Galilee identify them similarly.

Keywords

GRM 190

The Gospel as revealed to me

Detail

Simon Peter, Andrew and Simon the Zealot are the only ones named in this chapter, but the rest of the apostolic group is present. John of Endor also follows them.

Keywords

GRM 191

The Gospel as revealed to me

Detail

Philip, Thomas, Matthew, James of Zebedee and Bartholomew are not named in this chapter, but they are present and listen to the parable of the rich man.

Keywords

GRM 192

The Gospel as revealed to me

Detail

Apart from James of Alphaeus, Simon Peter and Simon the Zealot, the other apostles are not named, but they did travel with Jesus.

Keywords

GRM 193.1 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

Jesus goes on His way towards Jerusalem along roads which are more and more crowded with pilgrims. A heavy shower during the night has made the road somewhat muddy, but, on the other hand, it has removed dust and made the air clearer. The fields look like gardens diligently tended by skilled men.
They all walk fast because they are well rested after a night’s sleep, and because the boy, with his new sandals, no longer suffers when walking: on the contrary, as he becomes more and more familiar, he chatters with this one and that one, and confidentially informs John that his father’s name was also John and his mother’s Mary, and that he therefore is very fond of John as well. «But» he concludes, «I love you all, and in the Temple I will pray so much for you and for the Lord Jesus.»
It is moving to see how this group of men, most of whom have no children, are so paternal and full of attention for the youngest of Jesus’ disciples. Even the countenance of the man from Endor softens when he forces the little one to swallow a beaten egg, or when he climbs up among the woods, which make the hills as well as the higher mountains green, to pick acidulous branches of shrubs or scented stems of wild fennel, which he takes to the boy to quench his thirst, without overburdening his stomach with water. He also draws his attention to the different aspects and sights of the country, which is split here by large valleys at the bottom of which run main roads, to take his mind off the length of the journey.
The old teacher of Cintium, ruined by human wickedness, revives because of this boy, a wretch like himself, and the wrinkles of misfortune and bitterness smooth into a gentle smile. Jabez is already less shabby looking, because of his new sandals, and his face is not so sad, because I do not know which hand of an apostle has erased every trace of the wild life the boy led for so many months, sorting his hair so far ruffled and dusty and now made soft and tidy by a good wash. The man from Endor is quite different too. He is still somewhat puzzled when he hears anyone call him John, but then he shakes his head and smiles pitying his bad memory. Day by day his countenance loses its habitual hardness and gains a gravity, which is quite serene. Of course these two wretched people, who are reviving through Jesus’ kindness, gravitate towards the Master in their love. Their companions are dear, but Jesus… When He looks at them or speaks just to them, the expression on their faces is a most happy one.

Detail

The relationship between the Twelve and Jean d'Endor and the child Marziam.