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GRM 200.2 · Volume 3
«Son, Susanna has arrived in Jerusalem with her family and she brought Aglae here at once. Do You wish to listen to her while we are alone?»
«Yes, Mother. At once. And do not let anyone come up until it is all over. I hope to deal with her before the others come back. But please watch that there is no indiscreet curiosity… in no one… particularly with regards to Judas of Simon.»
«I will watch carefully…»
GRM 200.6 · Volume 3
Some time goes by, then I hear the voices of the apostles, who have come back… Andrew goes upstairs: «Master, do You want me?»
«Yes, come here. No one will know, but it is only fair that I should tell you. Andrew, thank you in the name of God and of a soul.»
«Thanks? For what?»
«Can you not smell this perfume? It is a souvenir of the Veiled woman. She came. She is saved.»
Andrew turns as red as a cherry, he falls on his knees, and cannot find words… At last he says: «Now I am happy. Blessed be the Lord!»
«Yes, get up. Do not tell the others that she came.»
«I will be quiet, my Lord.»
«You may go. Listen: has Judas of Simon come yet?»
«Yes, he wanted to come with us, telling us… a lot of lies. Why does he do that, Lord?»
«Because he is a spoiled boy. Tell Me the truth: have you quarrelled?»
«No, My brother is too happy with his boy to be anxious to quarrel, and the others, You know… are more prudent. It is true, we are all disgusted, in our hearts. But after supper he is going away… Other friends… he says. Oh! and he despises prostitutes!…»
«Be good, Andrew. You must be happy, too, this evening…»
«Yes, Master. I also have a sweet, although invisible, paternity. I am going.»
I, too, have my invisible, but sweet paternity. I'm off. Reference to Peter's paternity towards Marziam. Jesus granted him to be his adoptive father in EMV 199.
GRM 201.1 · Volume 3
It must be Wednesday morning because the group of apostles and women, preceded by Jesus and Mary with the boy between them, is approaching the Gate of the Fish. Joseph of Arimathea, who went to meet them as he had promised, is also there. Jesus looks for Alexander, the soldier, but does not see him.
«He is not here today either… I wonder why…»
The crowd is so large that it is quite impossible to inquire of the soldiers, and in any case it might not be wise to do so, as the Jews are more intolerant than ever before festivities; they are also upset because of the capture of the Baptist and they accuse Pilate and his satellites of being accomplices. I realise that the situation is such because of the epithets that are exchanged during squabbles between soldiers and citizens at the Gate, where picturesque… rude insults crack every moment like fireworks.
The women from Galilee are scandalised and they wrap themselves closer in their mantles and veils. Mary blushes, but proceeds without hesitation, as straight as a palm tree, looking at Her Son, Who does not even attempt to make the over-excited Jews see reason or induce the soldiers to be merciful towards the Israelites. And as some rather unpleasant epithet is addressed to the Galilean group, Joseph of Arimathea moves forward towards Jesus and is recognised by the crowd who become silent out of respect for him.
At last the Gate of the Fish is behind them, and the great crowd of people, pouring into the town in waves, rushes along the streets, along with donkeys and herds…
GRM 201.2-3 · Volume 3
«Master, we are here!» shouts Thomas, who is on the other side of the Gate with Philip and Bartholomew.
«Is Judas not here?», «Why are you here?» ask many.
«No. We came here at daybreak, because we were afraid that You might come earlier. But we have not seen him. I met him yesterday, he was with Sadoc, the scribe, you know, Joseph? The old, very lean man, with a wart under his eye. And there were other people with him… young people. I shouted to him: “Hallo, Judas”. But he did not reply, pretending he did not know me. I said: “But what’s the matter with him?” and I followed him for a few yards. He left Sadoc, in whose company he looked like a Levite, and went with the other men of his own age… who were certainly not Levites… And now he is not here… And he knew that we had decided to come here!»
Philip does not say anything. Bartholomew tightens his lips so much that they can no longer be seen, in an effort to stifle his opinion, which is rising from his heart.
«Very well! Let us go just the same! I will certainly not weep because of his absence» says Peter.
«Let us wait for a little while. He may have been held up» says Jesus seriously.
They lean against the wall, on its shady side, the women in one group, the men in another.
They are all wearing their best clothes. Peter, especially, is really magnificent. He is showing off brand new snow-white headgear, adorned with a galloon embroidered in red and gold. He is wearing his best tunic, a very dark garnet-red, adorned with a new belt identical in style with the decoration of his headgear. A knife, like a dagger, with an engraved hilt and an open-work brass sheath, through which the blade shines, hangs from his belt. The others are also armed more or less in the same fashion. Only Jesus is without a weapon. He is wearing a pure white linen tunic and a fleur-de-lis blue mantle, which Mary has certainly woven for Him during the winter months. Marjiam’s dress is pale red with a festoon in a darker shade around the neck, cuffs and hem. A similar galloon is embroidered around the waist and the hem of the mantle, which the boy is carrying on his arm and caresses happily. Now and again he raises his head and his little face looks half smiling and half worried… Also Peter has a little parcel in his hand and he holds it very carefully.
201.3
Some time goes by… but there is no sign of Judas.
«He did not deign…» grumbles Peter, and perhaps he would say something else, but John, the apostle, says: «Perhaps he is waiting for us at the Golden Gate…»
They go to the Temple. But Judas is not there.
Joseph of Arimathea loses patience. He says: «Let us go.»
GRM 201.7 · Volume 3
How happy is Peter with his boy, who is now a perfect Israelite! He is so happy that he does not notice the wrinkle that furrows Jesus’ forehead. So happy that he does not notice the rather oppressive silence of his companions. It is only in the hall of Joseph’s house – when the boy, who is asked the ritual question as to what he wants to do in future, replies: «I will be a fisherman like my father» – that Peter, weeping, remembers and understands…
«But… Judas has spoiled our feast with a drop of poison… And You are upset, Master… and that is why the others are sad. Forgive me if I did not notice it before… Ah! Judas!…»
I think that everybody’s heart is sighing like Peter’s. But Jesus, to remove the poison, strives to smile and says: «Do not worry, Simon. We miss only your wife… I was also thinking of her; she is so good and is always sacrificed. But she will soon have her joy, unexpected but so welcome. Let us think of the good that is in the world. Come. So Marjiam answered all the questions correctly? I knew he would…»
Joseph comes back into the hall after giving instructions to his servants. «I thank you all» he says «for making me feel young again with this ceremony and for the honour of having in my house the Master, His Mother, His relatives and you all, my dear fellow disciples. Come into the garden. It is cool and the flowers…» and it all ends.
Marziam has just passed her majority exam.
GRM 202.1-4 · Volume 3
It is the eve of Passover. Jesus is alone with His apostles, because the women have not joined the group, and He is waiting for Peter, who has taken the lamb of Passover to be sacrificed. While they are waiting and Jesus is speaking to Marjiam of Solomon, Judas crosses the large yard. He is with a group of young men speaking, gesticulating ostentatiously and assuming an inspired attitude. He shakes his mantle continuously, then drapes it round himself posing skilfully. I do not think that Cicero looked so stately when delivering his orations…
«Look, Judas is over there!» says Thaddeus.
«He is with a group of saforim» remarks Philip.
And Thomas says: «I am going to hear what he is saying» and he runs away before Jesus may express a foreseeable «don’t».
Oh! Jesus’ countenance! A countenance of suffering and of severe judgement. Marjiam, who was looking at Him while He was speaking kindly and somewhat sadly of the great king of Israel, notices, the sudden change, is almost frightened by it and shakes Jesus’ hand to call Him back to His senses exclaiming: «Don’t look! Don’t look! Look at me, for I love You.»…
202.2
Thomas is successful in reaching Judas without being seen by him and follows him for a few steps. I do not know what he hears, but I know that he bursts into a sudden thundering exclamation. which causes many people to turn around, and in particular Judas, who becomes livid with rage: «How many rabbis there are in Israel! I congratulate you, new light of wisdom!»
«I am not a flint-stone. I am a sponge. And I absorb. And when the desire of those starving for wisdom demands it, I squeeze out all my juices of life to give them…» Judas is pompous and contemptuous.
«You sound like a perfect echo. But an echo can only exist, if it is near the Voice. Otherwise it fades away, my friend. You seem to be going away from it. He is over there. Are you not coming?»
Judas changes colour, with the rancorous disgusting countenance of his worst moments. But he controls himself. He says: «Goodbye, my friends. Here I am with you, Thomas, my dear friend. Let us go to the Master at once. I did not know that He was here in the Temple. If I had known, I would have looked for Him» and he clasps Thomas’ shoulders with his arm, as if he were very fond of him.
But Thomas, who is placid but not foolish, is not deceived by such protestations… and asks rather astutely: «What? Don’t you know that it is Passover? And do you think that the Master is not faithful to the Law?»
«Oh! Never on your life! But last year He went about, and spoke… I remember this very day. He attracted me by means of His royal authoritativeness… Now… He looks to me like one who has lost vigour. Don’t you think so?»
«No, I don’t. I think He looks like one who has lost esteem.»
«Yes, in His mission, you are quite right.»
«No. You have misunderstood. He has lost men’s esteem. And you are one of those responsible for that. Shame on you!» Thomas no longer smiles. He is serious and his words lash Judas like a whip.
«Watch how you speak!» threatens the Iscariot.
«Watch how you behave. We are two Jews here, with no witnesses. And that is why I am speaking to you. And I say once again: “Shame on you!”. And now be quiet. Don’t feign tragedy and don’t start lamenting, otherwise I will speak in front of everybody.
202.3
There is the Master and your companions. Control yourself.»
«Peace to You, Master…»
«Peace to you, Judas of Simon.»
«It is a great pleasure for me to find You here… I would like to speak to You…»
«Do so.»
«You know… I wanted to tell You… Can You not listen to me aside?»
«You are among your companions.»
«But I wanted You only.»
«At Bethany I am alone with those who want Me and look for Me, but you do not look for Me. You avoid Me…»
«No, Master. You cannot say that.»
«Why did you offend Simon and Me yesterday, and Joseph of Arimathea, your companions and My Mother and the other women as well?»
«I did? But I did not see you!»
«You did not want to see us. Why did you not come, as we had arranged, to bless the Lord because of an innocent child who was being accepted by the Law? Tell Me! You did not even feel the need to inform us that you were not coming.»
«There is my father!» shouts Marjiam who sees Peter coming back with his lamb, which has been slaughtered, eviscerated and wrapped once again in its skin. «Oh! Micah and the others are with him! I am going, can I go and meet them and hear of my old father?»
«Yes, son, go» says Jesus caressing him. And touching John of Endor on his shoulder, he says to him: «Please, go with him and… keep them there for a little while.» And He addresses Judas once again: «Tell Me! I am waiting for your reply.»
«Master… a sudden obligation… an unbreakable one… I was very sorry… But…»
«But was there not one person in Jerusalem who could bring your justification, supposing you had one? And even that would have been a fault. I remind you that recently a man did not bury his father to follow Me, and that these brothers of Mine left their father’s house, amongst imprecations, to follow Me, and that Simon and Thomas, and Andrew, James, John, Philip and Nathanael with them, left their families and Simon Cananean left his wealth to give it to Me and Matthew his sins to follow Me. And I could go on mentioning one hundred more names. There are people who leave their lives, their very lives, to follow Me to the Kingdom of Heaven. But since you are so selfish, at least be polite. You have no charity, at least be courtly. Since you like them, imitate the false Pharisees who betray Me, who betray us behaving like well-bred people. It was your duty to be free to be with us yesterday, so as not to offend Peter, for whom I demand respect from everybody. But if you had at least sent notice…»
«I made a mistake.
202.4
But now I was coming to You on purpose, to tell You that for the same reason I cannot come tomorrow. You know… I have friends of my father and…»
«That is enough. Go with them. Goodbye.»
«Master… are You angry with me? You told me that You would act as my father… I am a reckless son, but a father forgives…»
«I forgive you. But go away. Do not keep your father’s friends waiting, as I do not keep waiting the friends of holy Jonah .»
«When are You leaving Bethany?»
«At the end of the Feast of Unleavened Bread. Goodbye.»
Jesus turns around and goes towards the peasants who are in an ecstasy over Marjiam who is so changed. He takes a few steps then stops because of Thomas’ remark: «By Jehovah! He wanted to see in You the authoritativeness of a King! He got what he wanted!…»
«I beg you all to forget the incident, as I am striving to forget it. I order you to make no mention of it to Simon of Jonah, John of Endor and the little one. For reasons which you can easily understand, it is better not to grieve or scandalise those three. And no word about it at Bethany, with the women. My Mother is there, do not forget it.»
«Do not be concerned, Master.»
«We will do all we can to make amends.»
«And to comfort You» they all say.
«Thank you…»
Jesus tells the child about Solomon: It's probably King Solomon.
He is with a group of saforim. Saforim (sopherîms): scribes.
I won't keep the friends of the holy Jonah waiting any longer. Jonah of Esdrelon.
By Jéovêh! He wanted to see you with your royal violence! Geovà in the original text. See the pronunciation of the divine name.
GRM 203.3-4 · Volume 3
One of you has suffered very much during the past days. He suffered undeservedly, also because of his effort to repress his indignation aroused by the undeserved deed. Yes, Simon of Jonah, come here. Not one throb of your honest heart has been concealed from Me, neither has there been any grief that I have not shared with you. Both I and your companions…»
«But You, my Lord, have been offended more than I was! And that was for me a greater pain,… no… a more sensitive… no, not that… a more… more. Well: that Judas should have loathed to be present at my feast, has hurt me as a man. But to see You grieved and offended has hurt me in a different way and I suffered twice as much… I… I do not want to boast and show off by using Your words… But I must say, and if it is due to pride in me, tell me, I must say that I suffered with my soul… and it hurts more.»
«It is not pride, Simon. You suffered spiritually, because Simon of Jonah, a fisherman in Galilee, is changing into Peter of Jesus, the Master of the spirit, so that also His disciples are becoming active and wise in the spirit. It is for this progress of Yours in the life of the spirit, it is because of such progress of you all, that I want to teach you the prayer this evening. How much you have changed after the solitary retreat!»
«Everybody, Lord?» asks Bartholomew who sounds rather incredulous.
«I understand what you mean… But I am speaking to you eleven. Not to anyone else…»
«But what is the matter with Judas of Simon, Master? We do not understand him any more… He seemed so changed, but now, since we left the lake…» says Andrew desolately.
«Be quiet, brother. I have the key to the mystery! A little bit of Beelzebub has stuck to him. He went to look for it in the cave at Endor to astonish us… and he was served as he deserved! The Master said it on that day… At Gamala the demons rushed into the pigs. At Endor the demons came out of that poor wretch of John into him… We know that… we know that… Let me tell them, Master! I have it here, in my throat, and if I do not say it, it will not come out and it will poison me…»
«Be good, Simon!»
«Yes, Master… and I would assure You that I will not be rude to him. But I say and think that since Judas is a vicious fellow – and we all know that – he is somewhat similar to a pig… and obviously demons willingly choose pigs when… changing their dwelling places. There it is: I have said it.»
«Do you think it is thus?» asks James of Zebedee.
«What else can it be! There is no other reason why he should be so difficult. He is worse now than he was at the Clear Water! And there one might have thought that the place and the season made him so nervous. But now…»
203.4
«There is another reason, Simon…»
«Tell us, Master. I will be happy to change my mind about my companion.»
«Judas is jealous. He is agitated because he is jealous.»
«Jealous? Of whom? He is not married, and even if he were, and went with women, I think that none of us would be rude to a fellow disciple…»
«He is jealous of Me. Just think: Judas changed after Endor and after Esdraelon. That is, when he saw that I was taking care of John and of Jabez. But now that John, above all, John, will be going away, as he will be leaving Me and staying with Isaac, you will see that Judas will become merry and good once again…»
«Well!… But You are not going to tell me that he is not possessed by a little demon. And above all… No, I will say it! And above all You will not tell me that he has improved during these last months. I was jealous as well, last year… I would not have liked anybody except the six of us, the first six, do You remember? Now, now… Let me invoke God just this once as witness to what I am going to say. Now I say that the more the disciples increase in numbers around You, the happier I am. Oh! I would like to bring all men to You and I would also like to have all the necessary means to help those who are in need, so that misery may not hinder anyone from coming to You. God sees whether I am telling the truth. But why am I thus now? Because I let You change me. He… has not changed. On the contrary… Yes, Master… A little demon has possessed him…»
«Do not say that. Do not think that. Pray that he may be cured. Jealousy is a disease…»
«Of which one can be cured beside You, if one wants to. Ah! I will put up with him, for Your sake… But, how difficult it is!…»
«I gave you a prize for that: the boy. And now I will teach you how to pray…»
«Oh! yes, Brother. Let us speak of that… and let us remember my namesake only as one who is in need of prayer. I think he has already had his punishment. He is not with us just now!» says Judas Thaddeus.
Simon Peter's suffering at the hands of Judas and the Iscariot's jealousy of John of Endor. Some of the apostles intervene during this exchange.
My namesake: Judas and Jude are the same first name, even if the French used different forms.
GRM 203.12 · Volume 3
“Do not put us to the test, but save us from the Evil One”.
The man who did not feel the need to share the Passover supper with us, asked Me, less than a year ago: “What? You asked not to be tempted and to be helped against temptation?”. There were only the two of us… and I replied. Later we were four, in a lonely area, and I replied once again. But still to no avail, because when dealing with an unyielding spirit it is necessary to open a breach by demolishing the evil fortress of his stubbornness. And I will, therefore, repeat it once, ten times, one hundred times until everything is accomplished.
But since you are not hardened by strange doctrines or by even stranger passions, I beg you to pray thus. Pray with humbleness that God may avert temptations from you. Oh! humbleness! To know oneself for what one is! Without losing heart, but to know oneself! Say: “I may give in, even if I do not think I could do it, because I am but an imperfect judge of myself. Therefore, Father, if possible, deliver me from temptations by keeping me so close to You as not to allow the Evil One to harm me”. Because, remember, it is not God Who tempts you to evil things, but it is the Evil One who tempts you. Pray the Father that He may support your weakness so that it may not be led into temptation by the Evil One.
The man (...) asked me, less than a year ago: "How? You asked not to be tempted and to be helped in temptation against itself? "Maria Valtorta notes: "Note: this argument aroused astonishment and a... let's say strange not to say calculated scandal towards the author of this work, as if by saying this he had blasphemed Christ.... We refer them to page 229 of "Così sìa (Ainsi-soit-il)" by Rev. P. (Luigi) Pazzaglia O.S.M., approved book ..." (1946, L.I.C.E. Berruti Torino).
We were the two of us, alone... and I answered. In EMV 69.5 to Judas.
Another time, there were four of us in a lonely place, and I answered again. In EMV 80.8/10 to Simon and John.
GRM 205.1 · Volume 3
«John of Endor, come here with Me. I must speak to you» says Jesus looking out of the door.
The man hastens towards Jesus leaving the boy to whom he was explaining something. «What do You want to tell me, Master?» he asks.
«Come upstairs with Me.»
They go up to the terrace and they sit down in the most sheltered part, because the sun is already strong, although it is still morning. Jesus runs His eyes over the cultivated country, where day by day the corn is becoming golden and fruit is ripening on trees. He seems to be wishing to derive some thought from that vegetable metamorphosis.
«Listen, John. I think that Isaac is coming today to bring Me Johanan’s peasants before they leave. I told Lazarus to lend Isaac a wagon to quicken their return and thus avoid a delay which would cause them to be punished. And Lazarus has agreed, because he does everything I tell him. But I want something else from you. I have here a sum of money given to Me by a person for the poor of the Lord. Usually one of My apostles is responsible for keeping the money and giving alms. Generally it is Judas of Kerioth; sometimes one of the others. But Judas is not here. And I do not want the others to know what I want to do. I would not have told Judas either. You will do it, in My name…»
«I, my Lord?… I?… Oh! I am not worthy!…»
«You must accustom yourself to working in My name. Is that not why you came?»
«Yes, but I thought I had to work to rebuild my poor soul.»
«And I will give you the means. Against what did you sin? Against Mercy and Love. You demolished your soul by means of hatred. You will rebuild it through love and mercy. I will give you the material. I will make use of you especially for deeds of mercy and love. You are also capable of curing, and of speaking. So you are qualified to take care of physical and moral miseries and you are capable of doing it. You will start with this action. Here is the purse. You will give it to Micah and his friends. Divide it into equal parts. But divide it as I will tell you. Make ten parts and give four to Micah, one for himself and one each to Saul, Joel and Isaiah. Give the other six to Micah with instructions to give them to Jabez’ old father, for himself and his companions. They will thus be able to have some comfort.»
«All right. But what shall I tell them to justify it?»
«Say: “This is to remind you to pray for a soul that is redeeming itself” .»
«But they may think that it is I! It is not fair!»
«Why? Do you not want to redeem yourself?»
«It is not fair that they should think that I am the donor.»
«Never mind, do as I tell you.»
«I will obey… but at least let me give something as well. In any case… now I do not need anything anymore. I do not buy books and I have no poultry to feed. I am satisfied with very little. Take this, Master. I am keeping a minimum for my sandal expenses…» and from a purse attached to his belt he takes out some coins which he adds to Jesus’ money.
«May God bless you for your mercy…»
I asked Lazarus to lend Isaac a chariot so they could get home faster. They mustn't be afraid of a delay that could bring them punishment. Yokhanan (Giocana) only gave them six days to get there and back for Passover. Cf. EMV 190.
I have here a sum given to me for the Lord's poor. Aglaé. Cf. EMV 200.
GRM 205.8
… The apostles, together with Mary and the women, go towards the house, preceded by Marjiam who runs ahead frisking. But he soon comes back and takes Mary by the hand saying to Her: «Come with me. I have something to tell You, when we are alone.» And Mary follows him. They turn towards a well, situated in a corner of the little yard and completely covered by a thick bower that from the ground climbs up towards the terrace forming an arch. Behind it, there is the Iscariot.
«Judas, what do you want? Go, Marjiam… Speak. What do you want?»
«I am guilty… I dare not go to the Master or face my companions… Help me…»
«I will help you. But do you not consider how much grief you cause? My Son wept because of you. And your companions suffered. But come. No one will say anything to you. And, if you can, do not commit the same sins again. It is shameful for a man and a sacrilege against the Word of God.»
«And will You forgive me, Mother?»
«I? I count for nothing as far as you are concerned, since you think you are so great. I am the least of the servants of the Lord. How can you worry about Me, if you feel no pity for My Son?»
«Because I have a mother as well, and if You forgive me, I will feel as if she did, too.»
«She does not know about this fault of yours.»
«But she made me swear I would be good to the Master. I am a perjurer. I can feel the soul of my mother reproaching me.»
«You feel that, do you? But do you not feel the lament and the reproach of the Father and of His Word? You are disgraceful, Judas! You cause grief to yourself and to those who love you.»
Mary is very serious and sad. She speaks without bitterness but with much seriousness. Judas weeps.
«Do not weep. Improve yourself. Come» and She takes him by the hand and enters the kitchen.
Everybody is filled with astonishment. But Mary wards off any possible uncharitable remark. She says: «Judas has come back. Behave as the first-born did after his father’s speech. John, go and tell Jesus.»
John of Zebedee runs away. Silence hangs heavy on the kitchen… Then Judas says: «Forgive me, all of you, and you, Simon, first of all. Your heart is so paternal. And I am an orphan, too.»
«Yes, I forgive you. Please, say no more about it. We are brothers… and I do not like these ups and downs of forgiveness and relapses. They humiliate both the offender and the forgiver. Here is Jesus. Go to Him. That’s all.»
Judas goes away and Peter, not being able to do anything else, starts chopping wood with keen impetuosity…