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Suffering and pain of the Virgin Mary

Theme: The Virgin Mary · Page 7 of 8

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GRM 179.7 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

While the two boats sail a short distance up the river and then stop near the bank, Jesus sits down and asks the new disciple: «Who is left at home now?»

«My mother and the eldest brother, who has been married for five years. My sisters are in various parts of the region. My father was very good and my mother mourns his death broken-heartedly.» The young man stops all of a sudden, stifling heartfelt sobs.

Jesus grabs his hand and says: «I experienced that sorrow Myself and I saw My Mother weep. So I can understand…»

Annotation

I too have known this pain and seen my Mother cry. So I understand you well... Consistent with the description of Joseph's death and Mary's sorrow(EMV 42.7 and EMV 42.8).

GRM 189.1-4 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

The funeral comes out from the other side of the walls. It is not possible to see what there is on the stretcher, which is carried shoulder high by the bearers. One understands that there is a corpse, wrapped in bandages and covered by a sheet, only because of its outline and that it is the body of a fully grown person, because it is as long as the stretcher.

A veiled woman is walking beside it, weeping, supported by relatives or friends. The only sincere tears in all that farce of mourners. And when a bearer trips on a stone or heap in the ground or stumbles and causes the stretcher to shake, the mother moans: «Oh! No! Be careful! My boy has suffered so much!» and she raises her trembling hand to caress the edge of the stretcher. And as she is unable to do anything else, she kisses the veils and the ribbons, which blown by a gentle breeze lightly touch the immobile corpse.

Peter, sympathetic, his good keen eyes welling up with tears whispers: «She is the mother.» But he is not the only one whose eyes are shining with tears at the sight. Also the Zealot, Andrew, John, and even the ever merry Thomas have tears in their eyes. They are all deeply moved. Judas Iscariot whispers: «If it were I! Oh! Poor mother of mine…»

189.2

Jesus, the kindness of Whose eyes is so deep as to be unbearable, makes His way towards the stretcher.

The mother, who is now sobbing louder because the funeral is about to turn towards the open sepulchre, pushes Him aside resolutely, when she sees that Jesus wants to touch the stretcher. I wonder what she is afraid of in her grief. She shouts: «He is mine!» and looks at Jesus with staring eyes.

«I know, mother. He is yours.»

«He is my only son! Why should he die, he was so good and dear, he was my joy, and I am a widow. Why?» The crowd of the hired mourners mourn more loudly, forming a chorus with the mother who continues: «Why he, and not I? It is not just that she who has borne a child, should see her offspring perish. The offspring must live, otherwise why was my womb torn to give birth to a man?» and she strikes her abdomen wildly and desperately.

«Do not do that! Do not weep, mother.» Jesus takes her hands clenching them firmly in His left hand, while with His right one He touches the stretcher saying to the bearers: «Stop and put the stretcher down.»

The bearers obey and lower the little bed that rests on its four legs.

Jesus takes the sheet covering the dead boy and pulls it back uncovering the corpse.

The mother shouts her grief and the name of her son, I think: «Daniel!»

Jesus, still clenching the mother’s hands in His, stands up, His eyes imposingly bright, the power of miracle shining majestically on His face, lowering His right hand, orders in the full strength of His voice: «Young man! I tell you: get up!»

189.3

The dead boy, wrapped in bandages as he is, sits up on the little bed and calls: «Mother!» He calls her with the stammering frightened voice of a terrified child.

«He is yours, woman. I give him to you in the name of God. Help him to get rid of the sudarium. And be happy.»

And Jesus makes the gesture of withdrawing. Impossible! The crowds rivet Him to the stretcher, on which the mother has thrown herself groping for the bandages, endeavouring to be quick, while the imploring childish moaning repeats: «Mother! Mother!»

The sudarium and bandages are undone and mother and son can embrace each other, and they do so without bothering about the sticky balms, which the mother removes from his dear face and hands, making use of the same bandages. As she has not clothes to put on him, she takes off her mantle and wraps him in it, caressing him all the time…

189.4

Jesus looks at her… he looks at the loving group, close together on the edge of the little bed, no longer a stretcher, and He weeps.

Judas Iscariot sees His tears and asks: «Why are You weeping, my Lord?»

Jesus turns His face towards him and says: «I am thinking of My Mother…»

Detail

Jesus meets a funeral procession. The young man's mother is devastated.

GRM 199.7-8 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

« Man perceives the perfume of virgins… I remember Joseph, I did not know which words to use. He was not aware of My secret… And yet he helped Me to disclose it with the intuition of a saint. He had perceived the scent of My soul… Also John, see?… How peaceful he is! And everybody seeks him. Even Judas of Kerioth, although… No, Son. Judas has not changed. I know and You know. We do not speak because we do not want to start a war. But even if we do not speak, we know… and even if we do not speak, the others realise… Oh! My Jesus! The younger apostles told Me today, at Gethsemane, the episode at Magdala and the other one of Sabbath morning… Innocent children speak… because they see through the eyes of their angels. But also old people have an idea… They are not wrong. He is an elusive being… Everything is elusive in him… and I am afraid of him and I have on My lips the same words of Benjamin at Magdala and of Marjiam at Gethsemane, because I feel the same disgust for Judas as children do.»

«Not everybody can be John!…»

«I do not demand that! In that case, it would be paradise on the earth. But, see, You told Me about the other John… A man who killed… but I only feel sorry for him. Judas frightens Me.»

«Love him, Mother! Love him, for My sake!»

«Yes, Son, I will. But not even My love will serve. It will only make Me suffer and make him guilty, Oh! Why did he come to You? He upsets everybody, he offends Peter who deserves all respect.»

«Yes. Peter is very good. I would do anything for him, because he deserves it.»

Annotation

Oh, my Jesus! The young people told me today, in Gethsemane, about the Magdala episode and the Sabbath morning episode. Two children's words about Judas "frightening them": Benjamin of Magdala in EMV 184.7 and Marziam in EMV 196.6.

GRM 205.8

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

… The apostles, together with Mary and the women, go towards the house, preceded by Marjiam who runs ahead frisking. But he soon comes back and takes Mary by the hand saying to Her: «Come with me. I have something to tell You, when we are alone.» And Mary follows him. They turn towards a well, situated in a corner of the little yard and completely covered by a thick bower that from the ground climbs up towards the terrace forming an arch. Behind it, there is the Iscariot.

«Judas, what do you want? Go, Marjiam… Speak. What do you want?»

«I am guilty… I dare not go to the Master or face my companions… Help me…»

«I will help you. But do you not consider how much grief you cause? My Son wept because of you. And your companions suffered. But come. No one will say anything to you. And, if you can, do not commit the same sins again. It is shameful for a man and a sacrilege against the Word of God.»

«And will You forgive me, Mother?»

«I? I count for nothing as far as you are concerned, since you think you are so great. I am the least of the servants of the Lord. How can you worry about Me, if you feel no pity for My Son?»

«Because I have a mother as well, and if You forgive me, I will feel as if she did, too.»

«She does not know about this fault of yours.»

«But she made me swear I would be good to the Master. I am a perjurer. I can feel the soul of my mother reproaching me.»

«You feel that, do you? But do you not feel the lament and the reproach of the Father and of His Word? You are disgraceful, Judas! You cause grief to yourself and to those who love you.»

Mary is very serious and sad. She speaks without bitterness but with much seriousness. Judas weeps.

«Do not weep. Improve yourself. Come» and She takes him by the hand and enters the kitchen.

Everybody is filled with astonishment. But Mary wards off any possible uncharitable remark. She says: «Judas has come back. Behave as the first-born did after his father’s speech. John, go and tell Jesus.»

John of Zebedee runs away. Silence hangs heavy on the kitchen… Then Judas says: «Forgive me, all of you, and you, Simon, first of all. Your heart is so paternal. And I am an orphan, too.»

«Yes, I forgive you. Please, say no more about it. We are brothers… and I do not like these ups and downs of forgiveness and relapses. They humiliate both the offender and the forgiver. Here is Jesus. Go to Him. That’s all.»

Judas goes away and Peter, not being able to do anything else, starts chopping wood with keen impetuosity…

GRM 206.15-17 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

Lazarus congratulates Jesus. He says: «Oh! I am sorry to see You go away. But I am happier than I would have been, had I seen You go away the day before yesterday!»

«Why, Lazarus?»

«Because You looked so tired and sad… You did not speak, and You hardly ever smiled… Yesterday and today You have become once again my kind holy Master, and that makes me so happy…»

«I was so even if I was quiet…»

«You were. But You are serenity and word. That is what we want from You. We drink our strength at those sources. And now those sources seemed to be dried up. Our thirst was painful… You see that also the Gentiles are amazed, and they have come looking for them…»

The Iscariot, whom John of Zebedee had approached, dares to speak: «Of course, they also inquired of me… Because I was very often at the Antonia, hoping to see You.»

«You knew where I was» replies Jesus briefly.

«I did. But I was hoping You would not disappoint those who were expecting You. Also the Romans were disappointed. I do not know why You behaved like that…»

«And you are asking Me? Are you not aware of the humours of the Sanhedrin, of the Pharisees, and of others as well, with regards to Me?»

«What? Were You afraid?»

«I was disgusted.

206.16

Last year, when I was alone — all by Myself against the whole world, which did not even know whether I was a prophet — I bore evidence that I was not afraid. And you were a conquest of that audacity of Mine. I spoke openly against a whole world of howlers; I caused the voice of God to be heard by a people who had forgotten it; I cleansed the House of God of the material filth in it, without any hope of purifying it of the more serious moral filth nesting in it, because I am not unaware of the future of men. But I had to do My duty, because of My zeal for the House of the Eternal Lord, which had been converted into a place where swindlers, usurers and thieves bawled, and I did it to arouse from their torpor those whom centuries of priests’ carelessness had caused to fall into spiritual lethargy. It was a cry to gather My people and take them to God… This year I have come back… And I saw that the Temple is still the same… it is even worse. It is no longer a den of thieves, but a place of conspiracy, it will later become the centre of Crime, then a brothel and finally it will be destroyed by a power greater than Samson’s, crushing a caste unworthy of being called holy. It is useless to speak in that place, where, I would remind you, I was forbidden to speak. Faithless people, whose poisoned leaders dare to forbid the Word of God to speak in His House! I was forbidden. I was silent for the sake of the least ones. It is not yet time to kill Me. Too many people are in need of Me, and My apostles are not yet strong enough to take on their arms My off-spring: the World. Do not weep, Mother, forgive, good Mother, Your Son’s need to tell those, who wish to or may deceive themselves, the truth that I know… I will be silent… But woe to those who cause God to be silent!… Mother, Marjiam, do not weep!… Please. Let no one weep.»

But in actual fact they are all weeping more or less bitterly.

Judas, as white as death in his striped red and yellow robe, dares still to speak, in a moaning ridiculous voice: «Believe me, Master, that I am amazed and grieved… I do not know what You mean… I know nothing… It is true that I have not seen anyone of the Temple. I have broken off contacts with everybody… But if You say so it must be true…»

«Judas!… You have not seen Sadoc either?»

Judas bends his head grumbling: «He is a friend. I met him as such, not as one of the Temple…»

Jesus does not reply to him. He turns to Isaac and John of Endor, to whom He gives more advice concerning their work.

Meanwhile the women comfort Mary Who is weeping and the boy who is weeping seeing Mary weep.

GRM 207.1 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

Simon of Jonah comes forward, he reaches Jesus’ group and asks: «Is this the road to Bethlehem? John says that the last time You took another road.»

«That is true» replies Jesus. «But that was because we were coming from Jerusalem. This one is shorter. At Rachel’s sepulchre, which the women wish to see, we will part, as you decided some time ago. We will meet later at Bethzur, where My Mother wishes to stop.»

«Yes, we said so… But it would be so lovely if we were all there… particularly Your Mother… because, after all, She is the Queen of Bethlehem and of the Grotto, and She knows everything so well… If we heard the story from Her… it would be quite different, that’s what I mean…»

Jesus smiles looking at Simon, who has kindly expressed his desire.

«Which grotto, father?» asks Marjiam.

«The Grotto where Jesus was born.»

«Oh! Lovely! I will come, too!…»

«It would be lovely indeed!» say Mary of Alphaeus and Salome.

«It would be beautiful!… It would mean going back to the time… when the world did not know You, that is true, but did not hate You yet… It would mean finding once again, the love of simple people who could but love and believe, with humility and faith…. And I would be able to lay aside this burden of bitterness which has been lying heavily on My heart since I learned that You are so hated, and I would lay it in Your manger… The kindness of Your eyes, of Your breath, of Your childish smile must still be there… and they would caress My heart… It is so grieved!…» Mary is speaking slowly, in a low voice expressing desire and sadness.

«Then, we shall go there, Mother. You will lead us. You are the Teacher today and I am the Little Boy Who is learning.»

«Oh! Son! No! You are always the Master…»

«No, Mother. Simon of Jonah is quite right. In the land of Bethlehem You are the Queen. It is Your first castle. Mary, of the house of David, lead this little group to Your abode.»

GRM 214.5-7 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

The Most Holy Virgin Mary and Mary, Judas’ mother, are together. They are not in the town house, but in the country one. They are alone. The apostles are outside with Jesus, the women disciples and the boy are in the magnificent apple-orchard and their voices can be heard together with the noise of clothes beaten on washboards. They are perhaps doing the washing while the boy is playing.

Judas’ mother, sitting in a dim-lit room beside Mary, is speaking

to Her: «These peaceful days will be like a dream to me. Too short! Yes, too short! I know that we must not be selfish and that it is fair that You should go to that poor woman and to so many other unhappy people. But I wish I could!… I wish I could spare the time, or come with You!… But I cannot. I have no relatives apart from my son and I must look after the property of the family…»

«I understand… It is painful to part from one’s son. We mothers would always like to be with our children. But we are giving them for a great cause, and we will not lose them. Not even death can take our sons away from us, if they and we are in grace in the eyes of God. But ours are still on the earth, even if by the will of God they are torn from our bosoms to be given to the world for its good. We can always join them and even the echo of their deeds is like a caress to our hearts, because their deeds are the scent of their souls.»

214.6

«What is Your Son to You, Woman?» asks Mary of Judas in a low voice.

And the Most Holy Mary replies promptly: «He is My joy.»

«Your joy!!!…» and then Judas’ mother bursts into tears and lowers her head to hide them. She bows so low as to almost touch her knees with her forehead.

«Why are you weeping, my poor friend? Why? Tell Me. I am happy in My maternity, but I can also understand those mothers who are not happy…»

«Yes. Not happy! And I am one of them. Your Son is Your joy… Mine is my grief. At least he has been so. Now, since he has been with Your Son, I am not so worried. Oh! of all those who pray for Your holy Son, for His welfare and triumph, there is no one, after You, Blessed Woman, who prays so much as this unhappy mother who is speaking to You… Tell me the truth: what do You think of my son? We are two mothers, one facing the other, between us there is God. And we are speaking of our sons. It can be but easy for You to speak of Yours. I… I have to strive against myself to speak of mine. And yet, how much good, or how much grief, can come to me from this conversation! And even if it is grief, it will always be a relief to speak about it… That woman of Bethzur became almost insane when her sons died, did she not? But I swear it to You, sometimes I have thought and still think, looking at my Judas who is handsome, healthy, intelligent, but he is not good, not virtuous, not righteous in his soul, not sound in his feeling, I often think that I would prefer to mourn him dead rather than know that he is disliked by God. But tell me, what do You think of my son? Be frank. This question has been tormenting my heart for over a year. But whom could I ask? The citizens? They did not yet know that the Messiah existed and that Judas wanted to go with Him. I knew. He told me when he came here after Passover, elated, violent, as usual, when he has a sudden fancy, and as usual, scornful of his mother’s advice. His friends in Jerusalem? A holy prudence and a pious hope prevented me. I did not want to say: “Judas is following the Messiah” to those whom I cannot love because they are everything but saints. And I hoped that his fancy notion would vanish, like many others, like all of them, even at the cost of tears and desolation, as happened in the case of more than one girl whom he charmed here and elsewhere, but never married. Do you know that there are places where he will no longer go because he may receive a fair punishment? Also his being of the Temple was a whim. He does not know what he wants. Never. His father, may God forgive him, spoiled him. I never had any authority on the two men in my house. I could but weep and make amends with all kinds of humiliation… When Johanna died — and although no one told me, I know that she died of a broken heart when Judas told her that he did not want to get married, after she had been waiting for all her youth, whereas everybody knew that in Jerusalem he had sent friends to a very rich woman who owned stores as far as Cyprus to enquire about her daughter — I had to shed many bitter tears, because of the reproaches of the dead girl’s mother, as if I were an accomplice of my son. No. I am not. I have no authority over him. Last year, when the Master came here, I realised that He had understood… and I was about to speak. But it is painful, very painful for a mother to have to say: “Be careful of my son. He is greedy, hard-hearted, vicious, proud and inconstant”. And that is what he is. I am praying that Your Son, Who works so many miracles, may work one for my Judas… But tell me, please tell me, what do You think of him?»

214.7

Mary, Who has been silent all the time, with an expression of pitiful sorrow while listening to that maternal lament of which Her righteous soul cannot disapprove, says in a low voice: «Poor mother!… What do I think? Yes, your son is not the limpid soul of John, nor the meek Andrew, not the firm Matthew who wanted to change and did change… He is… inconsistent, yes, he is. But we shall pray so hard for him, both you and I. Do not weep. Perhaps your motherly love, which would like to be proud of your son, makes you see him more perverted than he is…»

«No! No! I see right and I am so afraid.» The room is full of the weeping of Judas’ mother and in the half-light Mary’s white face has become even paler because of the maternal confession that sharpens all the suspicions of the Lord’s Mother. But She controls Herself. She draws the unhappy mother to herself and caresses her while she, abandoning all reservedness, painfully and confusedly informs Mary of all the harshness, pretensions and violence of Judas and concludes: «I blush for him when I see I am the object of the loving attention of Your Son! I have not asked Him. But I am sure that besides doing it out of kindness, He wants to say to Judas by means of His loving attention: “Remember that this is how a mother is to be treated”. Now, for the time being he appears to be good… Oh! If it were only true! Help me, help me with Your prayers, You Who are holy, so that my son may not be unworthy of the grace that God granted him! If he does not want to love me, if he cannot be grateful to me, who gave birth to him and brought him up, it does not matter. But let him really love Jesus; let him serve Him loyally and gratefully. But if that cannot be then… then may God take his life. I would rather have him in a sepulchre… at last I would have him because since he reached the age of reason he was hardly ever mine. Better dead than a bad apostle. Can I pray for that? What do You say?»

«Pray the Lord that He may do what is best. Do not weep any more. I have seen prostitutes and Gentiles at the feet of My Son, and publicans and sinners with them. They all became lambs through His Grace. Hope, Mary, hope. The grief of mothers saves their sons, do you not know that?…»

And everything ends on that pitiful question.