Peter and Judas in “Characters in The Gospel as it was revealed to me” (page 4/4)

GRM 205.8

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

… The apostles, together with Mary and the women, go towards the house, preceded by Marjiam who runs ahead frisking. But he soon comes back and takes Mary by the hand saying to Her: «Come with me. I have something to tell You, when we are alone.» And Mary follows him. They turn towards a well, situated in a corner of the little yard and completely covered by a thick bower that from the ground climbs up towards the terrace forming an arch. Behind it, there is the Iscariot.
«Judas, what do you want? Go, Marjiam… Speak. What do you want?»
«I am guilty… I dare not go to the Master or face my companions… Help me…»
«I will help you. But do you not consider how much grief you cause? My Son wept because of you. And your companions suffered. But come. No one will say anything to you. And, if you can, do not commit the same sins again. It is shameful for a man and a sacrilege against the Word of God.»
«And will You forgive me, Mother?»
«I? I count for nothing as far as you are concerned, since you think you are so great. I am the least of the servants of the Lord. How can you worry about Me, if you feel no pity for My Son?»
«Because I have a mother as well, and if You forgive me, I will feel as if she did, too.»
«She does not know about this fault of yours.»
«But she made me swear I would be good to the Master. I am a perjurer. I can feel the soul of my mother reproaching me.»
«You feel that, do you? But do you not feel the lament and the reproach of the Father and of His Word? You are disgraceful, Judas! You cause grief to yourself and to those who love you.»
Mary is very serious and sad. She speaks without bitterness but with much seriousness. Judas weeps.
«Do not weep. Improve yourself. Come» and She takes him by the hand and enters the kitchen.
Everybody is filled with astonishment. But Mary wards off any possible uncharitable remark. She says: «Judas has come back. Behave as the first-born did after his father’s speech. John, go and tell Jesus.»
John of Zebedee runs away. Silence hangs heavy on the kitchen… Then Judas says: «Forgive me, all of you, and you, Simon, first of all. Your heart is so paternal. And I am an orphan, too.»
«Yes, I forgive you. Please, say no more about it. We are brothers… and I do not like these ups and downs of forgiveness and relapses. They humiliate both the offender and the forgiver. Here is Jesus. Go to Him. That’s all.»
Judas goes away and Peter, not being able to do anything else, starts chopping wood with keen impetuosity…

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