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John of Zebedee (apostle)

Theme: Characters in The Gospel as it was revealed to me · Page 5 of 26

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GRM 71

The Gospel as revealed to me

Detail

Jesus speaks to Judas. They are waiting for Simon the Zealot and John of Zebedee, who are to join him. Jesus reveals that John is his first disciple, and Judas is hurt, but he says nothing to the Master. The Master, who knows the heart, asks the Iscariot why he doesn't tell him what he thinks. Then he asks him if his father loved him, and Judas speaks of his sire with emotion. The Lord then assures him that, if his father raised him as Judas tells him, he was certainly a righteous man, and that he will rejoice to know him a disciple of the Messiah. But Judas must see in Jesus the father he had lost, and hide nothing from him. Judas declares that he will become good if Christ loves him that much. He confesses that he was hurt not to have been the first disciple, but Jesus assures him that He makes no difference in His heart between the first and the last.

Simon and John arrive in the meantime. The former leper greets his Savior with a shout of joy, and Jesus blesses him for the evangelistic work he has already accomplished. Simon takes the opportunity to mention Lazarus, and Jesus promises to visit him. Then the introductions between the disciples take place. Jesus sends John with Judas, and he asks Simon to be lenient with this man, whom Simon-Peter and others will not appreciate. Simon agrees, and with these words they go off to evangelize the people at the Temple.

GRM 71.1

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

71.1 I see Jesus with Judas Iscariot walking up and down near one of the gates of the Temple enclosure.

«Are You sure he will come?» asks Judas.

«I am certain. He was leaving Bethany at dawn and at Gethsemane he was to meet My first disciple…»

Detail

Jesus is waiting for Simon the Zealot.

GRM 71.2

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

«I thought I was Your first disciple… and, now You have just told me that You already have one.»

«You saw him yourself. Do you not remember that at Passover I was in the Temple with many Galileans?»

«I thought they were friends… I thought I was the first one to be chosen for such destiny, and that I was therefore the dearest.»

«There are no distinctions in My heart between the first and the last. If the first one should err and the last one were a holy man, then there would be a distinction in the eyes of God. But I will love just the same: I will love the holy living man with a blissful love, and the sinner with a suffering love.»

Detail

Judas said:

GRM 71.3-4

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

John has seen the Master, and he points Him out to Simon. They make haste. John and the Master kiss each other. Simon, instead, throws himself at Jesus’ feet and kisses them, exclaiming: «Glory to my Saviour! Bless Your servant that his actions may be holy in the eyes of God and that I may glorify Him and bless Him for giving You to me.»

Jesus places His hand on Simon’s head: «Yes, I bless you to thank you for your work. Get up, Simon. This is John, and this is Simon: here is My last disciple. He also wants to follow the Truth. He is therefore a brother for you all.»

They greet each other: the two Judaeans inquisitively, John heartily.

«Are you tired, Simon?» asks Jesus.

«No, Master. With my health I have recovered a vitality I never felt before.»

«And I know you make good use of it. I have spoken to many people and they all told Me that you have already instructed them about the Messiah.»

Simon smiles happily. «Also last night I spoke of You to one who is an honest Israelite. I hope You will meet him one day. I would like to take You to him.»

«That is quite possible.»

Judas joins in the conversation: «Master, You promised to come with me, in Judaea.»

«And I will. Simon will continue to teach the people on My coming. The time is short, My dear friends, and the people are so many.

71.4 I will now go with Simon. You two will come and meet Me this evening on the road to the Mount of Olives and we will give money to the poor. Go now.»

Detail

Jesus is with Judas, and Simon the Zealot and John join him.

GRM 72

The Gospel as revealed to me

Detail

Jesus, John, Simon the Zealot and Judas are together. The Master asks them to accompany him to Judea, unless it would be very painful for them, especially Simon. But Simon says he has a new vigor since the Lord's miracle, and that the scales of hate have fallen from his heart. He even claims that this miracle of the heart is greater than the physical miracle, and grumbling, Judas asks why Jesus doesn't act this way with everyone. John then steps in and says that the Master is already changing them: at least he has been since the Messiah called him to follow him. The Beloved is then embarrassed to have spoken in front of the Master, but James' brother didn't want Judas to sadden the Master. Then Jesus speaks up and says that there will come a time when they will receive strength, grace and wisdom from the Lord, and judge justly. He even says that he will send them out and that they will be able to perform miracles... Judas rejoices at this thought, John less so, for they will no longer be with Jesus. Simon the Zealot nevertheless points out to them that if Christ acts in this way, it's because he'll know what he's doing and that they should trust him, remaining humble even when they perform miracles. Judas declares that if he wants to perform miracles, it's to see the Master triumph... And Simon speaks to him skilfully about the human thoughts that corrupt the image of Christ announced in Scripture: he takes the example of the Zealots, who wanted a human Kingdom and were punished by God and Rome. In his punishment, however, Simon knew the Son of God and recognized him at the right moment.

The conversation dies down, and Jesus reveals that they are going to Bethlehem.

GRM 72.1-6

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

72.1 I see, early in the morning, Jesus, Who at the same Gate meets His disciples Simon and Judas. John is already with Jesus. And I hear Him say: «My friends, I ask you to come with Me through Judaea. If it is not too much for you, particularly for you, Simon.»

«Why, Master?»

«It is hard to walk on the Judaean mountains… and perhaps it will be even more painful for you to meet someone who harmed you.»

«As far as the road is concerned, I wish to assure You, once again, that after You healed me, I feel stronger than a young man and no work is heavy for me, also because it is done for You, and now, with You. With regards to meeting people who harmed me, there is no harsh resentment or feeling in Simon’s heart, since he became Yours. Hatred has gone together with the scales of the disease. And believe me, I cannot tell You whether You worked a greater miracle in healing my corroded flesh or my soul consumed by hatred. I do not think I am wrong in saying the latter miracle was the greater. A wound of the soul heals less easily… and You healed me in one second. That is a miracle. Because one does not recover all of a sudden, even if one wants to with all one’s strength and a man does not get rid of a bad moral habit, if You do not destroy that habit with Your sanctifying will power.»

«Your judgement, is correct.»

72.2

«Why do You not do that with everyone?» asks Judas, somewhat resentful.

«But He does, Judas. Why do you speak like that to the Master? Do you not feel you have changed since you have been in contact with Him? Previously, I was a disciple of John the Baptist. But I have found myself completely changed since He said to me: “Come”.» John, who in general very seldom interferes, and never does in the presence of the Master, this time cannot keep quiet. Kind and loving, he lays one hand on Judas’ arm as if to calm him down and he speaks to him anxiously and persuasively. He then realises he has spoken before Jesus, he blushes and says: «Forgive me, Master, I spoke in Your stead, but I wanted… I did not want Judas to grieve You.»

«Yes, John. But he did not grieve Me as My disciple. When he is My disciple, then, if he persists in his way of thinking, he will grieve Me.

72.3

It grieves Me only to notice how much man has been corrupted by Satan who perverts his thoughts. All men, you know! The thoughts of all of you have been misled by him! But the day will come, when you will have the Strength and the Grace of God, you will have Wisdom with His Spirit… you will then have everything to enable you to judge rightly.»

«And will we all judge rightly.»

«No, Judas.»

«But are You referring to us, disciples, or to all men?»

«I refer firstly to you, and to all the others. When the time comes, the Master will nominate His workers and send them all over the world…»

«Are You not doing that already?»

«For the time being, I use you only to say: “The Messiah is here. Come to Him”. Later I will make you capable of preaching in My name, of working miracles in My name…»

«Oh! Also miracles?»

«Yes, on bodies and on souls.»

«Oh! How they will admire us, then!» Judas is overjoyed at the thought.

72.4

«But, then, we shall not be with the Master… and I will always be afraid to do with my human capacity what comes only from God» says John, and he looks thoughtfully and somewhat sadly at Jesus.

«John, if the Master will allow me, I would like to tell you what I think» says Simon.

«Yes, tell John. I want you to advise one another.»

«Do You already know it is advice?»

Jesus smiles and is quiet.

«Well, I tell you, John, that you must not, we must not be afraid. Let us rest upon His wisdom of a holy Master and upon His promise. If He says: “I will send you”, it means that He knows that He can send us without any fear that we may do harm to Him or to ourselves, that is to the cause of God, that is so dear to each of us, like a newly-wed bride. If He promises to dress our intellectual and spiritual misery with the brightness of the power His Father gives Him for us, we must be certain that He will do so and that we will be successful, not by ourselves, but through His mercy. All this will most certainly happen, providing our deeds are free from pride and human ambitions. I think that if we contaminate our mission, which is entirely a spiritual one, with earthly ingredients, then also Christ’s promise will no longer stand. Not because of any inability on His part, but because we shall strangle such ability with the rope of pride.

72.5

I do not know whether I have made myself understood.»

«You have spoken very clearly. I am wrong. But you know… I think that after all, to wish to be admired as the Messiah’s disciples, so close to Him as to deserve to do what He does, is the same as wishing to increase even more the powerful figure of Christ among people. Praise to the Master Who has such disciples, that is what I mean» answers Judas.

«What you say is not entirely wrong. But… see, Judas. I come from a caste which is persecuted because… because what and how the Messiah should be is misunderstood. Yes. If we had waited for Him with the correct vision of His being, we would not have fallen into errors, which are blasphemy against the Truth and a rebellion against the Law of Rome, so that we have been punished both by God and by Rome. We fancied Christ as a conqueror who would free Israel, as a new Maccabaeus, greater than the great Judas… Only that. And why? Because rather than have regard to the interest of God we took care of our own interests: of the fatherland and of the people. Oh! The interests of the fatherland are most certainly sacred. But what are they when compared to the eternal Heavens? In the long hours of persecution, first, and then of isolation, when as a fugitive, I was compelled to hide in the dens of wild beasts, sharing food and a bed with them, to escape Roman power and above all the impeachments of false friends; or when, waiting for death I was already tasting the savour of the sepulchre, in the cave of a leper, how much did I meditate, and how much did I see: I saw the figure of the Messiah… Yours, my humble and good Master, Yours, Master and King of the Spirit, Yours, O Christ, Son of the Father, leading to the Father, and not to the royal palaces of dust, nor to the deities of mud. You… Oh! It is easy for me to follow You… Because, forgive my daring, which avows itself to be correct, because I see You as I thought of You, I recognise You, I recognised You at once. No, it was not a question of meeting You, but of recognising One whom my soul had already met…»

«That is why I called you… and that is why I am taking you with Me, now, in this first journey of Mine in Judaea.

72.6

I want you to complete your recognition… and I want also these, whom age makes less capable of reaching the Truth by means of deep meditation, I want them to know how their Master has come to this hour… You will understand later. There is David’s Tower. The Eastern Gate is near.»

«Are we going out through it?»

«Yes, Judas. We are going to Bethlehem first. Where I was born… You ought to know… to tell the others. That also is part of the knowledge of the Messiah and of the Scriptures. You will find prophecies written in things not as prophecies but as history. Let us go around Herod’s houses…»

«The old, wicked, lustful fox.»

«Do not judge. There is God, Who judges. Let us go along the path through these vegetable gardens. We will stop under the shade of a tree, near some hospitable house, until it cools down. We will then go on our way.»

The vision ends.

Detail

Simon the Zealot, Judas and John have a conversation together about the miracles Jesus works on hearts and how Christ transforms them inwardly (72.1-2). Then the conversation turns to sending the disciples on mission, with John saddened at having to leave the Master, and Judas dreaming of being able to perform miracles. Simon the Zealot humbly gives his point of view and speaks of his own experience as a leper (72.3-4).

GRM 73

The Gospel as revealed to me

Detail

Christ, Judas, John and Simon have arrived in Bethlehem, near Rachel's tomb. They are approached by a local woman, who learns that Jesus has come to bring his Mother's salvation to some people in Bethlehem. She invites him to her home, and her husband welcomes them. But there is strong hostility towards the Messiah, as the massacre of the Innocents has taken place and left deep wounds among the people of Bethlehem. The Nativity shepherds, in particular, are hated by the locals, and the man who receives them is convinced that they let themselves be duped thirty years ago. So he curses the shepherds and the Magi, and blames himself for their credulity at the time. Jesus points out, however, that cursing is not permitted, as it is contrary to the commandment of love, and asks him if he is sure that his judgment is right, since the shepherds and magi may have told them the truth. He speaks of biblical prophecies - the Most High having anticipated the Savior's coming in an excess of love - and in particular mentions the star and the predictions in the books of Isaiah and Jeremiah. His host recognizes him as a rabbi, but when Jesus wants to know where the shepherds Elijah and Levi are, he becomes openly hostile, as Jesus enjoins him not to hate them and declares that the Messiah has indeed been born here.

Judas then gets on his high horse, but Jesus calms him down and the group leaves. A little further on, the Iscariot explodes and would have liked Jesus to be worshipped, but he doesn't want to reduce to ashes all those who sin against him.

Finally, Jesus takes them to the place of his birth, the grotto in Bethlehem. John and Simon are moved, Judas is disgusted at first, but is then overcome by emotion. And Jesus tells them the story of his birth...

GRM 73.8-9

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

Simon asks: «Where are we going now, Master?»

«Come with Me, I know a place.»

«But if You have never been here after You left, how can You know?» asks Judas, still angry.

«I know. It is not a beautiful place. But I have been there before. It is not in Bethlehem… it is a little outside… Let us turn this way.»

Jesus is in front, followed by Simon, then Judas and John is last…

73.9 In the silence, broken only by the rustling of their sandals on the small grains of gravel of the path, someone sobbing can be heard.

«Who is crying?» asks Jesus turning around.

And Judas: «It’s John. He has been frightened.»

«No, I was not frightened. I had already laid my hand on the knife under my belt… Then I remembered the words You keep repeating: “Do not kill, forgive”.»

«Why are you crying, then?» asks Judas.

«Because I suffer seeing that the world does not love Jesus. They do not know Him, and they do not want to know Him. Oh! It is such a pain! As if someone tore my heart with burning thorns. As if I had seen someone treading on my mother or spitting upon my father’s face… Even worse… As if I had seen Roman horses eating in the Holy Ark and resting in the Holy of Holies.»

«Do not cry, My dear John. You shall say it for this present time and for endless times in future: “He was the Light and He came to enlighten darkness; but darkness did not know Him. He came to the world that had been made for Him, but the world did not know Him. He came to His own town, to His domain, but His own people did not accept Him”. Oh! Do not cry like that!»

«That does not happen in Galilee!» says John sighing.

«Well, not even in Judaea» says Judas. «Jerusalem is the capital and three days ago it sang hosannas to You, Messiah! You cannot judge from this place of coarse peasants, shepherds and market gardeners. Also the Galileans, mind you, are not all good. After all, where did Judas, the false Messiah, come from? They said…»

«That is enough, Judas. There is no use in getting angry. I am calm. Be calm, too.»

Detail

jesus has just been chased out of a house in Bethlehem.

GRM 73.8.9-11

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

Simon asks: «Where are we going now, Master?»

«Come with Me, I know a place.»

«But if You have never been here after You left, how can You know?» asks Judas, still angry.

«I know. It is not a beautiful place. But I have been there before. It is not in Bethlehem… it is a little outside… Let us turn this way.»

Jesus is in front, followed by Simon, then Judas and John is last…

(...) «Judas, come here. I want to speak to you.» Judas goes near Him. «Take this purse. You will do the shopping for tomorrow.»

«And for the time being, where are we going to lodge?»

Jesus smiles, but does not reply.

73.10 It is dark. Everything is white in the moonlight. The nightingales sing amongst the olives-trees. A brook is a silvery resounding ribbon. One can smell the scent of hay of the mown fields: a warm, I would say, carnal smell. Bellows and bleats can be heard. And stars, stars and stars… stars strewn on the heavenly curtain, a canopy of living gems, spread over the hills of Bethlehem.

«But here!… There is nothing but ruins here! Where are You taking us? The town is over there.»

«I know. Come. Follow the rivulet, behind Me. A few more steps and then… then I will offer you the abode of the King of Israel.»

Judas shrugs his shoulders and becomes quiet.

A few more steps, then a heap of ruined houses: the remains of houses… A cave between the clefts of a big wall.

Jesus asks: «Have You any tinder? Light it.»

Simon lights a small lamp which he has taken out of his knapsack and he gives it to Jesus.

«Come in» says the Master lifting the lamp. «Come in. This is the nativity room of the King of Israel.»

«You must be joking, Master! This is a filthy den. Ah! I am not going to stay here! I loathe it: it is damp, cold, stinking, full of scorpions and perhaps also snakes…»

«And yet… My friends, here the night of the twenty-fifth of Chislev, Feast of the Lights, Jesus Christ, was born of the Virgin, the Emmanuel, the Word of God made flesh, for the love of man: I Who am speaking to you . Also then, as now, the world was deaf to the voices of Heaven speaking to the hearts of men… and it rejected the Mother… and here… No, Judas, do not avert your eyes in disgust from those fluttering noctules, from those green lizards, from those cobwebs, do not lift with disgust your beautiful embroidered mantle, lest it may trail on the ground covered with animal excrement. Those noctules are the daughters’ daughters of the ones that were the first toys to be tossed before the eyes of the Child, for Whom the angels sang the “Gloria” heard by the shepherds, intoxicated only by an ecstatic joy, a true joy. The emerald green of those lizards was the first colour to strike My eyes, the first, after My Mother’s white face and dress. Those cobwebs were the canopy of My royal cradle. This ground… oh! you may tread on it without disdain… It is littered with excrement… but it is sanctified by Her foot, the foot of the Holy, the Most Holy, Pure, Immaculate Mother of God, Who gave birth, because She was to give birth, because God, not man, told Her and covered Her with His shadow. She, the Faultless One, trod on it. You can tread on it, too. And may the purity diffused by Her, by the will of God, rise from the soles of your feet to your heart…»

73.11

Simon is on his knees. John goes straight to the manger and cries, leaning his head against it. Judas is terrified… he is overcome by emotion, and no longer worried about his beautiful mantle, he kneels on the ground, takes the edge of Jesus’ tunic and kisses it and beats his breast saying: «Oh! My good Master, have mercy on the blindness of Your servant! My pride vanishes… I see You as You are. Not the king I was thinking of. But the Eternal Prince, the Father of future centuries, the King of peace. Have mercy, my Lord and my God, have mercy on me!»

«Yes, you have all My mercy! Now we will sleep where the Infant and the Virgin slept, over there where John has taken the place of the adoring Mother, here where Simon looks like My putative father. Or, if you prefer so, I will speak to you of that night…»

«Oh! yes, Master, tell us of Your birth.»

«That it may be a bright pearl shining in our hearts. And we may tell the whole world.»

«And we may venerate Your Virgin Mother, not only as Your Mother, but also as… as the Virgin!»

Judas was the first to speak, then Simon and then John, whose face smiles and cries, near the manger.

«Come and sit on the hay. Listen,…» and Jesus tells them of the night of His birth. «…as the Mother was near Her time to have Her Child, a decree was issued by the imperial delegate Publius Sulpicius Quirinus on instructions from Caesar Augustus, when Sentius Saturninus was governor of Palestine. The decree stated that a census had to be taken of all the people of the empire. Those who were not slaves were to go to their places of origin and register in the official rolls of the empire. Joseph, the spouse of the Mother, was of the line of David and the Mother was also of David’s line. In compliance with the decree, they left Nazareth and came to Bethlehem, the cradle of the royal family. The weather was severe…».

Jesus continues the story and it all ends in this way.

GRM 74.1

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

Jesus, with arms crossed, looks at all the happy little creatures and smiles.

«Are You already ready, Master?» asks Simon, from behind Him.

«Yes, I am. Are the others still sleeping?»

«Yes, they are.»

«They are young… I washed Myself in that stream… The water is so cold that it clears the mind…»

«I’ll go and wash now.»

While Simon, wearing only a short tunic, is washing himself and then puts on his clothes, Judas and John come out. «Hail, Master, are we late?»

«No. It is only daybreak. But now be quick and let us go.»

The two get washed and put on their tunics and mantles.

Jesus, before setting off, picks some little flowers which have grown between the crevices of two stones, and puts them into a small wooden box, in which there are already other items, which I cannot see very well. He explains: «I will take them to My Mother. She will love them…» (...)