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Words of the Virgin Mary

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GRM 205.8

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

… The apostles, together with Mary and the women, go towards the house, preceded by Marjiam who runs ahead frisking. But he soon comes back and takes Mary by the hand saying to Her: «Come with me. I have something to tell You, when we are alone.» And Mary follows him. They turn towards a well, situated in a corner of the little yard and completely covered by a thick bower that from the ground climbs up towards the terrace forming an arch. Behind it, there is the Iscariot.

«Judas, what do you want? Go, Marjiam… Speak. What do you want?»

«I am guilty… I dare not go to the Master or face my companions… Help me…»

«I will help you. But do you not consider how much grief you cause? My Son wept because of you. And your companions suffered. But come. No one will say anything to you. And, if you can, do not commit the same sins again. It is shameful for a man and a sacrilege against the Word of God.»

«And will You forgive me, Mother?»

«I? I count for nothing as far as you are concerned, since you think you are so great. I am the least of the servants of the Lord. How can you worry about Me, if you feel no pity for My Son?»

«Because I have a mother as well, and if You forgive me, I will feel as if she did, too.»

«She does not know about this fault of yours.»

«But she made me swear I would be good to the Master. I am a perjurer. I can feel the soul of my mother reproaching me.»

«You feel that, do you? But do you not feel the lament and the reproach of the Father and of His Word? You are disgraceful, Judas! You cause grief to yourself and to those who love you.»

Mary is very serious and sad. She speaks without bitterness but with much seriousness. Judas weeps.

«Do not weep. Improve yourself. Come» and She takes him by the hand and enters the kitchen.

Everybody is filled with astonishment. But Mary wards off any possible uncharitable remark. She says: «Judas has come back. Behave as the first-born did after his father’s speech. John, go and tell Jesus.»

John of Zebedee runs away. Silence hangs heavy on the kitchen… Then Judas says: «Forgive me, all of you, and you, Simon, first of all. Your heart is so paternal. And I am an orphan, too.»

«Yes, I forgive you. Please, say no more about it. We are brothers… and I do not like these ups and downs of forgiveness and relapses. They humiliate both the offender and the forgiver. Here is Jesus. Go to Him. That’s all.»

Judas goes away and Peter, not being able to do anything else, starts chopping wood with keen impetuosity…

GRM 207.1-9 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

Simon of Jonah comes forward, he reaches Jesus’ group and asks: «Is this the road to Bethlehem? John says that the last time You took another road.»

«That is true» replies Jesus. «But that was because we were coming from Jerusalem. This one is shorter. At Rachel’s sepulchre, which the women wish to see, we will part, as you decided some time ago. We will meet later at Bethzur, where My Mother wishes to stop.»

«Yes, we said so… But it would be so lovely if we were all there… particularly Your Mother… because, after all, She is the Queen of Bethlehem and of the Grotto, and She knows everything so well… If we heard the story from Her… it would be quite different, that’s what I mean…»

Jesus smiles looking at Simon, who has kindly expressed his desire.

«Which grotto, father?» asks Marjiam.

«The Grotto where Jesus was born.»

«Oh! Lovely! I will come, too!…»

«It would be lovely indeed!» say Mary of Alphaeus and Salome.

«It would be beautiful!… It would mean going back to the time… when the world did not know You, that is true, but did not hate You yet… It would mean finding once again, the love of simple people who could but love and believe, with humility and faith…. And I would be able to lay aside this burden of bitterness which has been lying heavily on My heart since I learned that You are so hated, and I would lay it in Your manger… The kindness of Your eyes, of Your breath, of Your childish smile must still be there… and they would caress My heart… It is so grieved!…» Mary is speaking slowly, in a low voice expressing desire and sadness.

«Then, we shall go there, Mother. You will lead us. You are the Teacher today and I am the Little Boy Who is learning.»

«Oh! Son! No! You are always the Master…»

«No, Mother. Simon of Jonah is quite right. In the land of Bethlehem You are the Queen. It is Your first castle. Mary, of the house of David, lead this little group to Your abode.»

The Iscariot is on the point of speaking, but he remains silent. Jesus, Who has noticed and understands, says: «If anyone does not wish to come, because he is tired or for any other reason, he is free to proceed to Bethzur.» But no one replies.

207.2

They proceed westwards, along the cool valley. The road then bends lightly to the north along a protruding hill and they thus reach the road which takes from Jerusalem to Bethlehem, near a cube-shaped building surmounted with a small dome, which is Rachel’s tomb. They all go near it and pray reverently.

«Joseph and I stopped here… Everything is exactly the same as then. Only the season is different. It was a cold day in the month of Chislev. It had rained and the roads were muddy, then an ice-cold wind began to blow and perhaps during the night there was frost. The roads had hardened, but furrowed by cart-wheels and crowded with people, they were like a sea crowded with boats and My little donkey had difficulty in proceeding…»

«And did You not, Mother?»

«Oh! I had You!…» and She looks at Him with a tender blissful face. She then resumes speaking: «It was getting dark and Joseph was very worried… a biting cold wind was blowing stronger and stronger… People were rushing towards Bethlehem, pushing one another and many took to abusing My little donkey because it was going so slowly in an effort to find suitable places for its hooves… It seemed to be aware that You were there… and that You were sleeping for the last time in the cradle of My bosom. It was cold… But I was warm. I could feel You coming… Coming? You could say: “Mother, I had been there nine months”. Yes. But now it was as if You were coming from Heaven. Heaven was bending down over Me and I could see its brightness… I could see God inflamed with joy for Your oncoming birth and those flames pierced Me, burned Me, abstracted Me from everything… Cold… wind… crowds… it was all… nothing! I saw God… Now and again, with an effort, I would succeed in bringing My spirit back to the earth and I would smile at Joseph, who was afraid I might be cold and tired, and he led the little donkey lest it should stumble and he wrapped Me in a blanket lest I should get cold… But nothing could have happened to Me. I felt no jolts. I seemed to be moving along a starry path, among snow-white clouds, supported by angels… And I smiled… First at You… I looked at You, through the barrier of the flesh, while You were sleeping, with Your little fists closed, in Your cradle of living roses, My lily-bud… Then I smiled at My spouse, who was so distressed, to encourage him… And then at the people who were not aware that they were already breathing the air of the Saviour…

We stopped near Rachel’s tomb to let the donkey rest for a moment and to eat a little bread and some olives, the provisions of poor people. But I was not hungry. I could not be hungry… I was nourished with My joy…

207.3

We took to the road again… Come. I will show you where we met the shepherd… Do not worry, I cannot go wrong. I am living that hour again and I can find every place because I see everything through a bright angelical light. Perhaps the angelical group is here once again, invisible to our bodies, but visible to our souls with its brightness, and everything is revealed and clear. They cannot be mistaken, and they are leading Me… for My joy and yours. Here: Elias came from that field into this one with his sheep, and Joseph asked him for some milk for Me. And we stopped over there, in that field, while he was drawing the warm nourishing milk and giving some advice to Joseph.

Come, come… Here is the path of the last little valley before Bethlehem. We took it because the main road was a confusion of people and horses, close to the town…

207.4

There is Bethlehem! Oh! Dear land of My fathers, you gave Me the first kiss of My Son! You opened your door, as good and fragrant as the bread of which you bear the name[1], to give the True Bread to the world dying of starvation! Like a mother, in whom there is still Rachel’s maternal love, you embraced Me, o holy land of David’s Bethlehem, first temple of the Saviour, of the morning Star born of Jacob to show Mankind the road to Heaven! Look how beautiful she is now in springtime! But she was also beautiful then, although fields and vineyards were bare! A thin veil of frost was sparkling on the bare branches, which looked as if they were covered with diamond dust, wrapped in a heavenly impalpable veil. The chimney of every house was smoking while supper was being prepared and the smoke, rising from terrace to terrace up to this brow, made the town look veiled as well… Everything was chaste, intimate, waiting… For You, Son! The earth perceived Your arrival… And also the people of Bethlehem would have perceived You, because they are not bad, even if you do not believe so. They could not give us hospitality… The good honest homes in Bethlehem were crowded with insensitive proud people, who are always arrogant, and are so nowadays as well, and they could not perceive You… How many Pharisees, Sadducees, Herodians, scribes, Essenes there were! Oh! Their being dull at present is a consequence of their being hard-hearted then. They closed their hearts to love for their poor sister that night… and they remained and still are in darkness. They rejected God then, by rejecting love for their neighbour.

207.5

Come. Let us go to the Grotto. It is useless to enter the town. The best friends of My Child are no longer there. Friendly Nature is quite sufficient to make a fire, with its stones, its stream, its wood. Nature perceived the coming of its Lord… There… come without hesitating… We go round here… There, over there are the ruins of David’s Tower. Oh! it is dearer to Me than a royal palace! Blessed ruins! Blessed stream! Blessed tree because, as if by miracle, you allowed the wind to pull down so many of your branches so that we might find firewood and light a fire!»

Mary descends quickly towards the Grotto, She crosses the little stream on a board acting as a bridge, She runs in the open space before the ruins and falls on Her knees at the entrance of the Grotto, She bends and kisses the ground. All the others follow Her. They are touched… The boy, who has not left Her one moment, seems to be listening to a wonderful story and his little dark eyes drink in Mary’s words and gestures without missing a single one.

Mary stands up and goes in saying: «Everything is exactly as then!… But then it was night… Joseph lit a lamp when I entered. Only then, dismounting from the little donkey I realised how tired and cold I was… An ox greeted us, I went near it, to feel its warmth and lean against the hay… Joseph laid the hay out here, where I am, to make a bed for Me, and he dried the hay for Me and for You, Son, at the fire he had lit in that corner… because he was as good as a father in his love of an angelical spouse… And holding each other’s hand, like brother and sister lost in the darkness of night, we ate our bread and cheese, then he went over there to kindle the fire and he took off his mantle to close the entrance… In actual fact he put a veil before the glory of God descending from Heaven. You, My Jesus… and I lay on the hay, in the warmth of the two animals, wrapped in My mantle and covered with a woollen blanket… My dear spouse!… In that hour of anxiety when I was all alone before the mystery of My first maternity, an hour full of uncertainty for every woman, and in My case, in My only maternity, it was also full of the mystery of what it would be to see the Son of God emerge from mortal flesh, he, Joseph, was like a mother, an angel to Me… he was My comfort then and always afterwards…

207.6

Then silence and sleep wrapped the Just man… so that he might not see what for Me was God’s daily kiss…

And with regards to Me, after the interval of human necessities, there came immeasurable waves of ecstasy from a heavenly sea and they raised Me higher and higher on their bright crests carrying Me up with them into an ocean of light, of joy, of peace, of love, until I was lost in the sea of God, of God’s bosom… A voice from the earth whispered: “Are You sleeping, Mary?”. Oh! it was so far away!… An echo, a remembrance of the earth!… And so faint it was that My soul did not stir, and I do not know how I replied, while I rose, I rose even higher into the depth of fire, of infinite beatitude of foreknowledge of God… up to Him… Oh! were You born of Me that night, or was I born of the Triune brightness? Did I give You or did You absorb Me to generate Me? I do not know… And then the descent, from choir to choir, from star to star, from cloud to cloud, a sweet, slow, blissful, placid descent, like a flower carried high in the sky by an eagle and then dropped, descending slowly, on the wings of the air, made more beautiful by a drop of rain, by a tiny piece of rainbow stolen in the sky… alights on its native soil… My diadem: You! You on My heart…

Sitting here, after adoring You on My knees, I loved You. At last I could love You without the barrier of the flesh, and I moved from here to take You to the love of him, who, like Me, was worthy of being one of the first to love You. And here, between these two rustic columns, I offered You to the Father. And here You rested for the first time on Joseph’s heart… Then I swaddled You and together we laid You here… And I lulled You while Joseph was drying hay at the fire and when it was warm he placed it on Your chest and then we both adored You, bending over You, as I am doing now, to inhale Your breath, contemplating the humiliation to which love can lead and shedding tears which are certainly shed also in Heaven for the unexhausted joy of seeing God.»

207.7

Mary, Who has been pacing to and fro while recalling the past, pointing out the places, panting with love, with bright tears shining in Her blue eyes and a smile of joy on Her lips, bends over Her Jesus, Who is sitting on a huge stone listening to Her recollection, and kisses His head, weeping, adoring as She did then…

«And then the shepherds… they were in here, adoring with their good souls and with the deep sigh of the earth which entered with them, with their scent of humanity, of herds and hay; and outside there were the angels, everywhere, who adored with their love, with their songs which no human creature can repeat, and with the love of Heaven, with the air of Heaven which came in with them, which they brought in, in all their brightness… Your birth, Blessed Son!…»

Mary has knelt down beside Her Son and weeps emotionally with Her head resting on His knees. No one dare speak for some time. More or less moved they all look around as if they expected to see the scene painted among the cobwebs and rough stones…

Mary collects Herself and says: «Now, I told you of the infinitely simple and infinitely great birth of My Son. With My woman’s heart, not with the wisdom of a master. There is nothing else, because it was the greatest thing on the earth, concealed under very ordinary appearances.»

207.8

«But the day after? And then later?» many ask, amongst them the two Maries.

«The following day? Oh! very simple! I was the mother who nurses her baby, washes him and swaddles him, as every mother does. I used to warm the water of the stream on a fire lit out there, so that the smoke would not hurt His little blue eyes, and then in the most sheltered corner in an old tub I washed My Child and put fresh swaddling clothes on Him. I washed His napkins in the stream and hung them out in the sun… and then — and it was My greatest joy — I suckled Him and He sucked and became rosier and happier… On the first day, at the warmest hour of the day, I sat out there to see Him properly. The light glimmers in here, it does not come in direct and the lamp and the flame of the fire made things look strange. I went out there, in the sun… and I looked at the Incarnate Word. The Mother then became acquainted with Her Son and the handmaid of God with Her Lord. And I was a woman and a worshipper… Then Anna’s house… the days near Your cradle, Your first steps, Your first word… But that happened later, in due course… And nothing, nothing was equal to the hour of Your birth… Only when I return to God I will find that fullness once again…»

«But… why set out at the last moment! How unwary of You! Why not wait? The decree provided for an extension for special cases such as birth or disease. Alphaeus said so…» says Mary of Alphaeus.

«Wait? Oh! no! That evening, when Joseph brought the news, You and I, Son, leapt for joy. It was the call… because You were to be born here, and nowhere else, as the Prophets had foretold[2], and that sudden decree was as if merciful Heaven wanted Joseph to erase even the memory of his suspicion. It was what I was waiting for, for You, for him, for the Judaic world and for the future world, forever and ever. We decided. And we acted accordingly. Wait! Can the bride delay her nuptial dream? Why wait?»

«Well… anything might have happened…» says Mary of Alphaeus once again.

«I was not afraid of anything. I rested in God.»

«But did You know that everything would happen thus?»

«Nobody told Me. And I never thought of it, so much so that to encourage Joseph, I let him and you doubt that there was still time for the birth. But I knew, I really knew that the Light of the World was to be born during the feast of the Dedication.»

«And you, mother, why did you not go with Mary? And why did father not think of it? After all you were both going to come here! Did we not all come?» asks Judas Thaddeus sternly.

«Your father had decided to come after the Dedication and he told his brother. But Joseph would not wait.»

«But at least you…» insists Thaddeus.

«Do not reproach her, Judas. By mutual consent we decided it was just to lay a veil on the mystery of this birth.»

«Did Joseph know that it was to take place with those signs? If You did not know, how could he have known?»

«We knew nothing, except that He was to be born.»

«So?»

«So divine Wisdom guided us, as it was right that it should. Jesus’ birth and His presence in the world were to appear devoid of uncommon features, which might arouse Satan… And you are aware that the present bitter hatred of Bethlehem people towards the Messiah is a consequence of Christ’s first epiphany. Demoniacal hatred made use of the revelation to cause bloodshed, and thereby intensify hatred.

207.9

Are you satisfied, Simon of Jonah, who are speechless and almost breathless?»

«Yes, so much… so much that I seem to be out of this world, in a holier place than if I were beyond the Velarium of the Temple… So much… that now that I have seen You in this place and in the light of that night, I am afraid that I did not behave with respect towards You, as if You were a great woman, but just a woman. Now… now I will not dare to call You: “Mary”, as I did before. Before You were the Mother of My Master. Now I have seen You on the crests of those heavenly waves, I have seen You as a Queen, and I, a poor wretch, prostrate myself, because I am a slave» and he throws himself on the ground kissing Mary’s feet.

Jesus speaks now: «Simon, stand up. Come here, close to Me» Peter goes to the left hand side of Jesus because Mary is on His right. «What are we now?» asks Jesus.

«We? Well, we are Jesus, Mary and Simon.»

«Very well. But how many are we?»

«Three, Master.»

«So we are a trinity. One day, in Heaven, the Divine Trinity had a thought: “It is now time that the Word should go to the world”. And in a throb of love the Word came upon the earth. He parted therefore from the Father and the Holy Spirit. He came to work on the earth. The Two Who had remained in Heaven contemplated the deeds of the Word, remaining more united than ever to blend Thought and Love to assist the Word working on the earth. The day will come when an order will be issued from Heaven: “It is time for You to come back because everything has been accomplished”, and then the Word will go back to Heaven, thus… (Jesus takes a step backwards leaving Mary and Peter where they were) and from the heights of Heaven, He will contemplate the deeds of the two who remained on the earth, who, by holy inspiration, will join together more than ever, to blend power and love to obtain the means of fulfilling the desire of the Word: “The redemption of the world through the perennial teaching of His Church”. And the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit will form a chain with Their beams to tie the two left on the earth more and more closely: My Mother, love; you, power. You will certainly have to treat Mary as a queen, but not as if you were a slave. Do you not think so?»

«I think everything You wish. I am overwhelmed! I… the power? Oh! If I am to be the power I must definitely lean on Her! Oh! Mother of my Lord, never abandon me, never, never…»

«Do not be afraid. I will always hold you by the hand, as I used to do with My Child until He could walk by Himself.»

«And after that?»

«And after I will support you with My prayers. Cheer up, Simon. Never doubt God’s power. I did not doubt it, neither did Joseph. You must not doubt it either. God gives us His help hour by hour, if we remain humble and faithful…

GRM 208.1-4 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

«We shall almost certainly find them if we go back on to the Hebron road for a little while. Please go in pairs looking for them on the mountain paths. From here to Solomon’s Pools and thence to Bethzur. We will follow you. This is their pasture area» says the Lord to the Twelve and I understand that He is speaking of the shepherds.

The apostles are getting ready to go, each with his favourite companion and only the inseparable couple of John and Andrew do not get together because they both go to the Iscariot saying: «I will come with you» and Judas replies: «Yes, come, Andrew. It is better thus, John. You and I already know the shepherds. So it is better if you go with someone else.»

«Come with me, then, boy» says Peter leaving James of Zebedee, who without protesting goes with Thomas, while the Zealot joins Judas Thaddeus, James of Alphaeus goes with Matthew and the two inseparable Philip and Bartholomew remain together. The boy remains with Jesus and the Maries.

The road is cool and comfortable and runs among completely green mountains covered with forests and meadows. They meet herds going towards pastures in the faint light of dawn.

At the sound of every cattle-bell Jesus stops speaking and looks around, He then asks the shepherds whether Elias, the Bethlehemite shepherd, is in that area. I understand that by now Elias is called «the Bethlehemite». Even if other shepherds are from Bethlehem, he is by right or by mockery «the Bethlehemite». But no one knows where he is. They answer stopping their herds and ceasing to play their rustic flutes.

Almost every young man has one of those primeval cane flutes, which cause Marjiam to be thrown into ecstasies, until a good old man gives him his nephew’s saying: «He will make himself another one», and Marjiam goes away happily with the instrument across his back, even if he does not know how to play it, at least for the time being.

208.2

«I would like so much to meet them!» exclaims Mary.

«We will certainly find them. In this season they are always near Hebron.»

The boy is interested in those shepherds who saw the Child Jesus and he asks Mary many questions and She explains everything patiently and kindly.

«But why did they punish them? They had done nothing but good!» asks the boy after hearing the story of their misfortunes.

«Because very often man makes mistakes, accusing innocent people of evil deeds that in actual fact were done by someone else. But as they have been good and have forgiven, Jesus loves them so much. We must always be able to forgive.»

«But all the children who were slaughtered, how could they have forgiven Herod?»

«They are little Martyrs, Marjiam, and martyrs are saints. They not only forgive their executioners, but they love them, because they open Heaven to them.»

«But are they in Heaven?»

«No, not just now. But they are in Limbo where they are the joy of Patriarchs and of the just.»

«Why?»

«Because when they arrived with their souls purple with blood, they said: “Here we are, we are the heralds of Christ the Saviour. Rejoice, you who are waiting, because He is already on the earth”. And everybody loves them because they are the bearers of these good tidings.»

«My father told me that also Jesus’ Word is good tidings. So when my father goes to Limbo after repeating it on the earth, and I also go there, will we be loved as well?»

«You will not go to Limbo, My dear little one.»

«Why?»

«Because Jesus will have already gone back to Heaven and will have opened it and all good people will go straight to Heaven when they die.»

«I will be good, I promise. And Simon of Jonah? He too, eh? Because I do not want to become an orphan a second time.»

«He will be there as well, you may be sure, but there are no orphans in Heaven. We have God. And God is everything. We are not orphans here either. Because the Father is always with us.»

«But Jesus in that lovely prayer, which You teach me by day and my mother at night, says: “Our Father Who are in Heaven”. We are not in Heaven yet. Therefore, how can we be with Him?»

«Because God is everywhere, son. He watches over the baby that is born and over the old man who is dying. The child who is born this moment, in the most remote part of the world, has God’s love and eye with him and will have them until he dies.»

«Even if he is as bad as Doras?»

«Yes.»

«But can God, Who is so good, love Doras who is so bad and makes my old father weep?»

«He looks at him with disdain and sorrow. But if he should repent. He would say to him what the father of the parable said to his repentant son.

208.3

You should pray that he may repent and…»

«Oh! no, Mother! I will pray that he may die!!!» says the child impetuously. Although his remark is not very… angelical, his impetuosity is so sincere that no one can help laughing.

Mary then resumes the sweet seriousness of a Teacher: «No, My dear. You must not do that to a sinner. God would not listen to you and would look sternly at you as well. We must wish our neighbour the greatest welfare, even if our neighbour is very bad. Life is a good thing because it gives man the possibility of gaining merits in the eyes of God.»

«But if one is bad, one gains sins.»

«We pray that he may become good.»

The boy is pensive… but he does not like this sublime lesson and he concludes: «Doras will not become good even if I pray for him. He is too bad. Even if all the baby martyrs of Bethlehem should pray with me, he would not become good. You do not know… You do not know that one day he struck my old father with an iron rod, because he found him sitting during working hours? He was not able to stand because he was not feeling well… and he beat him and left him half dead, and then kicked him on his face… I saw him because I was hiding behind a hedge… I had gone there because no one had brought me any bread for two days and I was hungry… I had to run away so that he might not hear me, because I was crying seeing my father like that, with blood on his beard, lying on the ground, as if he were dead… I was weeping when I went to beg some bread… but that bread is still lying here… and it tastes of the blood and tears of my father and mine, and of all those who are tortured and who cannot love those who torture them. I would like to strike Doras that he may feel what a blow is, and I would like to leave him without any bread, that he may learn what it is to be hungry, and I would make him work in the sun, in mud, under the threats of the overseer, without food, that he may know what he gives the poor… I cannot love him because… because he kills my holy father, and I… if I had not found you, to whom would I have belonged ?»

The child, in a fit of pain, shouts and cries, trembling, deranged, striking with his closed fists the air, as he cannot strike the slave-driver. The women are amazed and touched and they endeavour to calm him. But he is really in a fit of grief and does not hear anything. He shouts: «I cannot, I cannot love and forgive him. I hate him, I hate him on behalf of everybody, I hate him, I hate him!…» He is in a pitiful and frightful state.

208.4

It is the reaction of a creature who has suffered too much.

And Jesus says so: «That is Doras’ gravest felony: to drive an innocent child to hate…» He then takes the child in His arms and speaks to him: «Listen, Marjiam. Do you want to go one day with your mummy, your daddy, your little brother and the old father?»

«Yes…»

«Then you must not hate anybody. He who hates does not go to Heaven. You cannot pray for Doras just now? Well, do not pray, but do not hate. Do you know what you must do? You must never look back to think of the past…»

«But my father who suffers is not past…»

«That is true. But look, Marjiam, try and pray like this: “Our Father Who are in Heaven, please see to what is my wish…”. You will see that the Father will listen to you in the best possible way. Even if you killed Doras, what would you do? You would lose the love of God, Heaven, the company of your father and mother and you would not relieve of his troubles the old man whom you love. You are too little to be able to do it. But God can. Tell Him. Say to Him: “You know how much I love my old father and how I love all those who are unhappy. Will You please see to this matter, because You can do everything”. What? Do you not want to preach the Gospel? But the Gospel teaches love and forgiveness! How can you say to one: “Do not hate. Forgive” if you cannot love and forgive? Leave things to good God and you will see how well He can arrange matters. Will you do that?»

«Yes, I will, because I love You.»

Jesus kisses the boy and puts him down.

The incident is over as well as their journey.

Annotation

It's better this way, Jean. You and I would be the two who already know the shepherds. Cf. EMV 75.2 and EMV 75.6.

Every time the clarinet is tinkled, Jesus stops speaking. Clarine: a bell placed around the neck of cattle.

In that beautiful prayer you and my mother taught me, she at night and you during the day: cf. EMV 206.14.

If he repented, he would tell him what the father in the parable said to his repentant son. In the parable of the prodigal son(EMV 205.5).

GRM 208.7-11 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

The sun is beginning to set when Bethzur appears on its hill and almost at the same time, on the secondary road they have taken to go there, they see the flocks of the shepherds and the shepherds who run to meet them. When Elias sees that Mary also is there, he lifts his arms in a gesture of surprise and remains thus, not believing his own eyes.

«Peace to you, Elias. It is I. We promised you, but it was not possible to meet in Jerusalem… Never mind, We are meeting now» says Mary kindly.

«Oh! Mother, Mother!…» Elias does not know what to say, At last he finds words: «Well, I am celebrating Passover now. It is just the same, or better still.»

«Of course, Elias. We sold well. We can kill a little lamb. Oh! Please be the guests of our poor table» beg Levi and Joseph.

«We are tired this evening, Tomorrow. Listen. Do you know a certain Eliza, the wife of Abraham of Samuel?»

«Yes. She lives in her house at Bethzur. But Abraham is dead and his sons died last year. The first one died of a disease in a few hours, and no one knows of what he died. The other died of a slow death and nothing stopped his decline. We gave her the milk of a young goat, because the doctors said it was good for him. He drank a lot of it, as all the shepherds took it to her, because the poor mother had sent people to look for whoever had a young goat giving milk for the first time in the herd. But it was of no avail. When we came back to the plain the young man would not take any food. When we came back in Adar, he had been dead two months.»

«My poor friend! She was so fond of Me in the Temple… and she was somehow related to Me through our ancestors… She was good… She left to marry Abraham, to whom she had been promised since her childhood, two years before Me and I remember when she came to offer her first-born to the Lord. She sent for Me, not only for Me, but later she wanted Me to be alone with her for some time… And now she is alone… Oh! I must make haste to comfort her! You stay here. I will go with Elias and I will enter by Myself. Sorrow demands respect…»

«Not even I, Mother?»

«Of course, always. But the others… Not even you, My little one. It would be painful for you. Come, Jesus!»

«Wait for us on the village square. Look for a shelter for the night. Goodbye» orders Jesus.

208.8

And with only Elias for company, Jesus and Mary go as far as a large house, which is completely closed and silent. The shepherd knocks at the door with his stick. A maidservant looks out of a little window asking who it is. Mary moves forward saying: «Mary of Joachim and Her Son, from Nazareth. Tell your mistress.»

«It is useless. She does not want to see anybody. She is weeping her heart out.»

«Try.»

«No. I know how she drives me away if I try to take her mind off her worries. She does not want anyone, she will not see anyone or speak to anyone. She speaks only to the memory of her sons.»

«Go, woman. I order you to go. Say to her: “Little Mary of Nazareth is here, the one who was your daughter in the Temple…”. You will see that she will be wanting Me.»

The woman goes away shaking her head. Mary explains to Her Son and to the shepherd: «Eliza was much older than I was. She was waiting in the Temple for her fiance to come back from Egypt where he had gone on inheritance matters and so she remained there up to an unusual age. She is almost ten years older than I am. The teachers used to entrust the little girls to the guidance of adult pupils… and she was My companion-teacher. She was good and… Here is the woman.»

In fact the servant thoroughly amazed rushes to open the door wide: «Come in, come in!» she says. And then in a low voice: «May You be blessed for getting her out of that room.»

Elias takes his leave and Mary enters with Her Son.

«But this man, really… For pity’s sake! He is the same age as Levi…»

«Let Him come in. He is My Son and will comfort her better than I can.»

The woman shrugs her shoulders and precedes them through the long hall of a beautiful but sad house. Everything is clean, but everything seems dead…

208.9

A tall woman, walking bowed in dark clothes, comes forward in the dim light of the hall.

«Eliza! Dear! I am Mary!» says Mary running towards her and embracing her.

«Mary? You… I thought You were dead, too. I was told… when? I don’t know… My head is empty… I was told that You died with many other mothers after the coming of the Magi. But who told me that You were the Mother of the Saviour?»

«The shepherds perhaps…»

«Oh! the shepherds!» The woman bursts into bitter tears. «Don’t mention that name. It reminds me of the last hope for Levi’s life… And yet… yes… a shepherd spoke to me of the Saviour and I killed my son taking him to the place where they said the Messiah was, near the Jordan. But there was nobody there… and my son arrived back in time to die… Fatigue, cold… I killed him… But I had no intention of being a murderer. I was told that He, the Messiah, cured diseases… and that is why I did it… Now my son accuses me of killing him…»

«No, Eliza. It is you that think so. Listen. I instead think that your son has taken Me by the hand saying: “Come to my dear mother. Take the Saviour to her. I am happier here than I would be on the earth. But she listens only to her weeping, and she cannot hear the words that I whisper to her with my kisses, poor mother, she is like a woman possessed by a demon who wants her to surrender to despair, because he wants us to be divided. If instead she resigns herself and believes that God does everything for a good purpose, we would be united for good, with our father and brother. Jesus can do it”. And I came… with Him… Do you not wish to see Him?…» Mary has spoken holding the poor wretch in Her arms all the time, kissing her grey hair with unparalleled kindness.

«Oh! if it were true! But, why then did Daniel not come to You, to tell You to come sooner?… But who told me some time ago that You were dead? I don’t remember… I don’t remember… That is another reason why perhaps I waited too long to go to the Messiah. But they said that He, You, everybody had died at Bethlehem…»

«Never mind who said so.

208.10

Come here, look, My Son is here. Come to Him. Make your children and your Mary happy. Do you know that we suffer seeing you thus?» And She leads her towards Jesus Who is standing in a dark corner and only now comes forward, under a lamp that the maidservant has placed on top of a tall coffer.

The poor mother raises her head… and I now see that she is the Eliza who was also on Calvary with the pious women. Jesus stretches out His hands in a gesture of loving invitation. The poor wretch hesitates a moment, then she entrusts her own hands to His and finally, all of a sudden, she throws herself on to Jesus’ chest, moaning: «Tell me, tell me that I am not guilty of Levi’s death! Tell me that they are not lost forever! Tell me that I will soon be with them!…»

«Yes, I will. Listen. They are now exulting because you are in My arms. I will soon be going to them, and what shall I tell them? That you are not resigning yourself to the Lord? Shall I tell them that? The women of Israel, the women of David, so strong, so wise, are to be given the lie by you? No. You are suffering, because you suffered all alone. Your grief and you. You and your grief. One cannot endure it thus. Are you no longer bearing in mind the words[2] of hope for those whom death has taken away from us? “I mean to raise you from your graves and lead you back to the soil of Israel. And you will know that I am the Lord when I open your graves and raise you from your graves. When I put My spirit in you, you will live”. The soil of Israel, for the just sleeping in the Lord, is the Kingdom of God. I will open it and give it to those who are waiting.»

«Also to my Daniel? And to my Levi?… He was so horrified at death!… He could not stand the idea of being far from his mother. That is why I wanted to die and be buried beside him…»

«But they were not there with their living parts. Only dead things were there and they could not hear you. They are in the place of expectation…»

«But does it really exist? Oh! Do not be scandalised at me. My memory has turned into tears! My head is full of the noise of the weeping and death-rattle of my sons. That death-rattle! That death-rattle. It has dissolved my brains. I have but that death-rattle in here…»

«And I will put the words of life there for you. I will sow the Life, because I am Life, where there is the din of death. Remember the great Judas Maccabee who wanted a sacrifice offered for the dead, rightly thinking that they are destined to rise again and that it is necessary to hasten their peace by means of suitable sacrifices. If Judas Maccabee had not been certain of their resurrection, would he have prayed and made people pray for the dead? As it is written[3], he thought that a great reward is set aside for those who die piously, as your sons certainly did… See, you are saying yes? So do not despair. But pray devoutly for your dead ones, that their sins may be expiated before I go to them. Then, without waiting for a moment, they will come to Heaven with Me. Because I am the Way, the Truth and the Life and I lead, and I speak the Truth and I give Life to those who believe in My Truth and follow Me. Tell Me. Did your sons believe in the coming of the Messiah?»

«Of course, my Lord. I taught them to believe that.»

«And did Levi believe that if I wanted I could cure him?»

«Yes, My Lord. We hoped in You… but it was of no avail… and he died disheartened after hoping so much…» The woman resumes weeping again more calmly but more desolately in her calm than when she was agitated.

«Do not say that it was of no avail. He who believes in Me, even if he is dead, will live forever…

208.11

Night is falling, woman. I will join My apostles. I leave My Mother with you…»

«Oh! Will you please stay as well!… I am afraid that if You go away, my torture will begin again… The storm is just beginning to calm at the sound of Your words…»

«Do not be afraid! You have Mary with you. I will come again tomorrow. I have something to tell the shepherds. Can I tell them to approach your house?…»

«Oh! Yes. They used to come for my son last year too… Behind the house there is an orchard and a rustic yard. They can go there as they used to do then, to keep the flock together…»

«All right. I will come. Be good. Remember that Mary in the Temple was entrusted to You. I entrust Her to you as well tonight.»

«Yes, do not worry. I will look after Her… I will have to see Her supper, to Her rest… For how long I have never thought of these things! Mary, will You sleep in my room, as Levi did when he was ill? I in my son’s bed, You in mine. And I will feel as if I heard his light breathing again… He always held me by the hand…»

«Yes, Eliza. But before we shall speak of many things.»

«No. You are tired. You must sleep.»

«You, too…»

«Oh! It is I who have not slept for months… I weep… and weep… I can do nothing else…»

«This evening, instead, we shall pray, and then we shall go to bed and you will sleep… We shall sleep holding each other’s hand. You may go, Son, and pray for us…»

«I bless you. Peace to you and to this house!»

And Jesus goes away with the maidservant who is dumbfounded and keeps repeating: «What a miracle, my Lord! What a miracle! After so many months she has spoken, she has reasoned… Oh! what a wonderful thing!… They were saying that she would die insane… And I was sorry, because she is good.»

«Yes, she is good and that is why God will help her. Goodbye, woman. Peace to you too.»

Jesus goes out on to the almost dark street and it all ends.

Detail

A real-life case of a mother who has lost her two children to illness. Jesus comes to console her with the Virgin Mary.

Annotation

Elise was much older than me. About ten years. So she's in her early sixties.

When we returned in the month of Adar, he had been dead for two moons. The month of Addar is in February/March.

Have you no longer kept in mind the words of hope about those whom death has taken from us? "I will take you out of your graves and bring you back to the land of Israel. Then you will know that I am the Lord, when I open your graves and bring you up from your tombs. I will put my spirit within you and you will live. " See Ezekiel 37:11-14 below.

Remember the great Judas Maccabaeus, who wanted to make a sacrifice for the dead, because he rightly believed that they are destined to rise again and that the hour of peace must be hastened for them by timely sacrifices. If Judas Maccabaeus had not been certain of the resurrection, would he have prayed and had others pray for the dead? He, on the contrary, as it is written, thought that a great reward was reserved for those who die piously, as your sons surely did... See the second book of Maccabees 12, 43-46 below.

Book of Ezekiel 37, 11-14

Ezek 37, 11-14 : And he said to me, "Son of man, these bones are all the house of Israel. Behold, they say, 'Our bones are dry, our hope is dead, we are lost! Therefore prophesy and say to them: Thus says the Lord Yahweh: Behold, I will open your graves, and raise you up from your graves, O my people, and bring you back to the land of Israel. And you will know that I am Yahweh, when I open your graves and raise you up from your graves, O my people. I will put my Spirit within you, and you will live; and I will give you rest on your soil, and you will know that I, Yahweh, say and do, - oracle of Yahweh!"

Second Book of Maccabees 12, 43-45

2 M 12, 43-46 : Then, having collected the sum of two thousand drachmas, he sent it to Jerusalem to be used for an expiatory sacrifice. A fine and noble deed, inspired by the thought of the resurrection! For if he had not believed that the soldiers killed in battle would rise again, it would have been useless and vain to pray for the dead. 45 Moreover, he considered that a very fine reward is reserved for those who fall asleep in piety, and this is a holy and pious thought. This is why he made this atoning sacrifice for the dead, so that they might be delivered from their sins.

GRM 209.3 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

The maidservant opens the door. Jesus goes in while the servant repeatedly bows to Him.

«Where is your mistress?»

«With Your Mother… and, just imagine! she has come down into the garden! How wonderful! How wonderful! And yesterday evening she came into the dining room… She was weeping, but she came. I would have liked her to take some food, instead of the usual drop of milk, but I was not successful!»

«She will take it. Do not insist. Be also patient in your love for your mistress.»

«Yes, my Saviour. I will do everything You tell me.»

I think, in fact, that if Jesus told the woman to do the strangest things, she would do them without objecting, because she is so convinced that Jesus is Jesus and that everything He does is right. In the meantime she takes Him into a large kitchen garden, full of fruit-trees and of flowers. But if the fruit-trees have begun by themselves to come into leaf and blossom, to set the fruit and make them grow, the poor flower plants, neglected for over a whole year, have become a miniature forest, which is so entangled that the weaker and lower plants are suffocated beneath the weight of the stronger ones. Flower-beds and paths no longer exist as they have become one chaotic tangle. There is some order only at the end of the garden where the maidservant has sown salads and vegetables for her own use.

Mary is there with Eliza under a very ruffled pergola, the shoots and tendrils of which reach down to the ground. Jesus stops and looks at His young Mother, Who with most refined art awakes and directs Eliza’s mind to things completely different from what up to yesterday were the thoughts of the afflicted woman.

The servant approaches her mistress and says: «The Saviour has come.»

The women turn around and come towards Him, one with Her sweet smile, the other looking tired and bewildered.

«Peace be with you. This garden is beautiful…»

«It was beautiful…» says Eliza.

«And the soil is fertile. Look how much beautiful fruit is about to ripen! And how many flowers on the rose bushes! And over there? Are they lilies?»

«Yes, they are, round a fountain where my children used to play so much.But then it was tidy… Now everything is ruined here. And it no longer seems the garden of my sons.»

«In a few days it will be as it was before. I will help you. Is that right, Jesus? You will leave Me here for a few days with Eliza. We have so much to do…» says Mary.

«What You want, I want.»

Eliza looks at Him and whispers: «Thank You.»

Jesus caresses her white hair and then takes His leave to go to the shepherds.

GRM 211.1-2 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

They are all sitting in a circle in a thicket near Hebron and they are eating while speaking to one another. Judas, who is now sure that Mary will go to his mother’s, is in the best of spirits and endeavours to erase the memory of his bad humour with his companions and the women, by showering his attention on them. He must have gone to the village to do the shopping and he says that he has found a great difference in it since last year. «The news of Jesus’ preaching and miracles has reached this place. And the people have begun to ponder many things. Do You know, Master, that Doras has some property in this part of the country? Also Chuza’s wife has some land on these mountains and a castle of her own, as a marriage settlement. Obviously the ground has been prepared both by her and by Doras’ peasants, because some of his men from Esdraelon must be here. He… Doras told them to be quiet. But they!… I don’t think they would be silent even if he tortured them. The death of the old Pharisee greatly surprised everybody, You know? And the very good health of Johanna, who came here before Passover. Ah! Also Aglae’s lover has served You. You know that she ran away shortly after we came here. And he played havoc among many innocent people to avenge himself. So that the people concluded by thinking of You as an avenger of the oppressed and they are now expecting You. I mean the better ones…»

«Avenger of the oppressed! I really am. But in a supernatural way. None of those who see Me with sceptre and axe in My hands as king and executioner according to the spirit of the earth, is right. I certainly came to free people from oppression. From the oppression of sin, which is the most serious, of illness, of desolation; from ignorance and selfishness. Many will learn that it is not fair to oppress people, simply because one has been placed by fate in a high position, and that, on the contrary, a high position should be used to raise up those who are down at the bottom.»

«Lazarus does that, also Johanna. But they are only two against hundreds…» says Philip disconsolately.

«Rivers are not as wide at their sources as they are at their estuaries. A few drops, a trickle of water, but later… There are rivers that look like seas at their mouths.»

«The Nile, eh? Your Mother told me of the time You went to Egypt.She always said to me: “A sea, believe Me, a green-blue sea. To see it in flood is a dream!” and She told me of the plants that seem to spring from the water and of all the greenery that seemed to be left by the receding water…» says Mary of Alphaeus.

«Well, I tell you that, as the Nile at its source is a trickle of water and then becomes the giant it is, so the tiny trickle of great people who for the time being bend with love and out of love over the least of their brothers, will become a multitude later. For the time being Johanna, Lazarus, Martha, but how many, how many!» Jesus seems to be seeing those who will be merciful to their brothers and He smiles, enraptured in His vision.

211.2

Judas confides that the head of the synagogue wanted to come with him, but he did not dare to make a decision by himself: «Do you remember, John, how he drove us away[1] last year?»

«I remember… But let us ask the Master.»

And when Jesus is questioned He says that they will go into Hebron. If the people want them, they will call them and they will stop; otherwise they will pass without pausing.

«So we shall also see the Baptist’s house. To whom does it belong now?»

«To whoever wants it, I think. Shammai went away and never came back. He took away servants and furniture. The citizens to avenge themselves of his abuse of power, knocked the enclosure wall down, and the house now belongs to anybody. At least the garden does. They gather there to venerate their Baptist. They say that Shammai was murdered. I do not know why… apparently because of women…»

«Certainly some filthy plot at court!…» whispers Nathanael through his beard.

Annotation

Judas, now that he's sure Mary will go to her mother, has returned to a better frame of mind. Judas, in fact, was in a foul mood in theEMV 210.

Even Kouza's wife has land and a castle here on these mountains that belong to her personally, part of her dowry. Probably Béther's castle.

The old Pharisee's death struck people with astonishment, you know? Cf. the dramatic death of Doras in EMV 126.10.

Just like Jeanne's excellent health. Cf. Jeanne de Kouza's healing in EMV 102.7.

Judas confides that the head of the synagogue wanted to come with him, but didn't dare make the decision on his own: "Do you remember, John, how he drove us out last year?" Cf. EMV 77.8.

GRM 214.4 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

«Here, Son, Eliza’s greetings» says Mary, handing a small parchment roll to Jesus Who unfolds it and reads it, then says: «I knew. I was sure. Thank You, Mother. On My behalf and on Eliza’s. You really are the health of the sick!»

«I? You, Son. Not I.»

«You; and You are My greatest help.» He then turns to the apostles and women disciples and says: «Eliza writes: “Come back, my Peace. I want not only to love You, but to serve You”. So we have relieved a creature of her anguish and melancholy, and we have gained a disciple. Yes, we will go back.»

«She wishes to meet also the women disciples. She is recovering slowy, but without relapsing. Poor Eliza! She still undergoes moments of frightful bewilderment. Does she not, Simon? One day she wanted to try to come out with Me, but she saw a friend of Daniel’s… and we had great difficulty in calming her weeping. But Simon is so clever! And since Eliza expressed the desire to return to the world, but the world of Bethzur is too full of memories for her, Simon suggested we should call Johanna. And he went to call her. After the feast she went back to Bether, to her magnificent rose-garden in Judaea. Simon says that he seemed to be dreaming, while crossing the hills covered with rose-bushes, that he was already in Paradise. She came at once. She is in a position to understand and pity a mother mourning her sons! Eliza has become very fond of her and I came away. Johanna wants to persuade her to leave Bethzur and go to her castle. And she will succeed because she is as sweet as a dove but as firm as a rock in her decisions.»

«We shall go to Bethzur on our way back and then we shall part. You women disciples will stay with Eliza and Johanna for some time. We will go through Judaea and we shall meet in Jerusalem for Pentecost»…

Annotation

Come back, my Peace. I want not only to love you but to serve you. These words follow Jesus’ presence in EMV 208 and EMV 209. Mary then remained in Bet-Çur starting with EMV 210.

You are my greatest help. Jesus indeed desires that everyone help him save sinners and spread the Good News in people’s hearts. In this case, it is an example of Mary’s assistance in Jesus’ apostolate.

GRM 214.5-7 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

The Most Holy Virgin Mary and Mary, Judas’ mother, are together. They are not in the town house, but in the country one. They are alone. The apostles are outside with Jesus, the women disciples and the boy are in the magnificent apple-orchard and their voices can be heard together with the noise of clothes beaten on washboards. They are perhaps doing the washing while the boy is playing.

Judas’ mother, sitting in a dim-lit room beside Mary, is speaking

to Her: «These peaceful days will be like a dream to me. Too short! Yes, too short! I know that we must not be selfish and that it is fair that You should go to that poor woman and to so many other unhappy people. But I wish I could!… I wish I could spare the time, or come with You!… But I cannot. I have no relatives apart from my son and I must look after the property of the family…»

«I understand… It is painful to part from one’s son. We mothers would always like to be with our children. But we are giving them for a great cause, and we will not lose them. Not even death can take our sons away from us, if they and we are in grace in the eyes of God. But ours are still on the earth, even if by the will of God they are torn from our bosoms to be given to the world for its good. We can always join them and even the echo of their deeds is like a caress to our hearts, because their deeds are the scent of their souls.»

214.6

«What is Your Son to You, Woman?» asks Mary of Judas in a low voice.

And the Most Holy Mary replies promptly: «He is My joy.»

«Your joy!!!…» and then Judas’ mother bursts into tears and lowers her head to hide them. She bows so low as to almost touch her knees with her forehead.

«Why are you weeping, my poor friend? Why? Tell Me. I am happy in My maternity, but I can also understand those mothers who are not happy…»

«Yes. Not happy! And I am one of them. Your Son is Your joy… Mine is my grief. At least he has been so. Now, since he has been with Your Son, I am not so worried. Oh! of all those who pray for Your holy Son, for His welfare and triumph, there is no one, after You, Blessed Woman, who prays so much as this unhappy mother who is speaking to You… Tell me the truth: what do You think of my son? We are two mothers, one facing the other, between us there is God. And we are speaking of our sons. It can be but easy for You to speak of Yours. I… I have to strive against myself to speak of mine. And yet, how much good, or how much grief, can come to me from this conversation! And even if it is grief, it will always be a relief to speak about it… That woman of Bethzur became almost insane when her sons died, did she not? But I swear it to You, sometimes I have thought and still think, looking at my Judas who is handsome, healthy, intelligent, but he is not good, not virtuous, not righteous in his soul, not sound in his feeling, I often think that I would prefer to mourn him dead rather than know that he is disliked by God. But tell me, what do You think of my son? Be frank. This question has been tormenting my heart for over a year. But whom could I ask? The citizens? They did not yet know that the Messiah existed and that Judas wanted to go with Him. I knew. He told me when he came here after Passover, elated, violent, as usual, when he has a sudden fancy, and as usual, scornful of his mother’s advice. His friends in Jerusalem? A holy prudence and a pious hope prevented me. I did not want to say: “Judas is following the Messiah” to those whom I cannot love because they are everything but saints. And I hoped that his fancy notion would vanish, like many others, like all of them, even at the cost of tears and desolation, as happened in the case of more than one girl whom he charmed here and elsewhere, but never married. Do you know that there are places where he will no longer go because he may receive a fair punishment? Also his being of the Temple was a whim. He does not know what he wants. Never. His father, may God forgive him, spoiled him. I never had any authority on the two men in my house. I could but weep and make amends with all kinds of humiliation… When Johanna died — and although no one told me, I know that she died of a broken heart when Judas told her that he did not want to get married, after she had been waiting for all her youth, whereas everybody knew that in Jerusalem he had sent friends to a very rich woman who owned stores as far as Cyprus to enquire about her daughter — I had to shed many bitter tears, because of the reproaches of the dead girl’s mother, as if I were an accomplice of my son. No. I am not. I have no authority over him. Last year, when the Master came here, I realised that He had understood… and I was about to speak. But it is painful, very painful for a mother to have to say: “Be careful of my son. He is greedy, hard-hearted, vicious, proud and inconstant”. And that is what he is. I am praying that Your Son, Who works so many miracles, may work one for my Judas… But tell me, please tell me, what do You think of him?»

214.7

Mary, Who has been silent all the time, with an expression of pitiful sorrow while listening to that maternal lament of which Her righteous soul cannot disapprove, says in a low voice: «Poor mother!… What do I think? Yes, your son is not the limpid soul of John, nor the meek Andrew, not the firm Matthew who wanted to change and did change… He is… inconsistent, yes, he is. But we shall pray so hard for him, both you and I. Do not weep. Perhaps your motherly love, which would like to be proud of your son, makes you see him more perverted than he is…»

«No! No! I see right and I am so afraid.» The room is full of the weeping of Judas’ mother and in the half-light Mary’s white face has become even paler because of the maternal confession that sharpens all the suspicions of the Lord’s Mother. But She controls Herself. She draws the unhappy mother to herself and caresses her while she, abandoning all reservedness, painfully and confusedly informs Mary of all the harshness, pretensions and violence of Judas and concludes: «I blush for him when I see I am the object of the loving attention of Your Son! I have not asked Him. But I am sure that besides doing it out of kindness, He wants to say to Judas by means of His loving attention: “Remember that this is how a mother is to be treated”. Now, for the time being he appears to be good… Oh! If it were only true! Help me, help me with Your prayers, You Who are holy, so that my son may not be unworthy of the grace that God granted him! If he does not want to love me, if he cannot be grateful to me, who gave birth to him and brought him up, it does not matter. But let him really love Jesus; let him serve Him loyally and gratefully. But if that cannot be then… then may God take his life. I would rather have him in a sepulchre… at last I would have him because since he reached the age of reason he was hardly ever mine. Better dead than a bad apostle. Can I pray for that? What do You say?»

«Pray the Lord that He may do what is best. Do not weep any more. I have seen prostitutes and Gentiles at the feet of My Son, and publicans and sinners with them. They all became lambs through His Grace. Hope, Mary, hope. The grief of mothers saves their sons, do you not know that?…»

And everything ends on that pitiful question.