GRM 49
The Gospel as revealed to me
Detail
Maria sees John of Zebedee. He sees the Master and calls out to him. The two men talk. Jesus was praying and thinking about what he was going to say to the synagogue, but seeing spiritually that John was looking for him, he went to meet him. The son of Zebedee asks him if Jesus loves him, and Christ returns the question. John then reveals that he loves him very much, that his soul, according to him, had always been looking for him. When the Savior asks him what he will do if he has to leave his father, mother, brothers and sisters, as well as life, wife and love, John replies that Christ's love will take the place of father, mother, brothers, sister and wife. When Jesus speaks of his death, John doesn't want that to happen at all, and asks him for permission to love his Lord. Jesus grants it. James' brother is happy.
They then talk about Andrew and Peter, and Jesus heads for the synagogue. On the way, he comforts the child James, who is about to cry because he ran too fast. They talk briefly about the children of the Exodus and Limbo, and the boy is promised that he will go straight to Heaven when he dies, if he is good. This gives John the opportunity to ask the Master about his parentage. He confirms that he has no nephews, brothers or sisters, only cousins and his Mother. Finally, Jesus goes to preach in the synagogue.
He reads from the Book of Jeremiah, addressing the people of Israel who are weeping because of foreign occupation. Some say they still have the Temple, but the Lord reminds them that prayer is only holy if we have love for our neighbor. The rich who make great offerings, but are hard-hearted, are not accepted by God. So Christ urges them to be of good will, to be sincere and kind. He reminds us that the Law is simple, if we give the Commandments the light of love. After alluding to the Eucharist, he encourages souls to love.
Having finished his speech, he returns to Peter and Andrew. Jesus states Peter's character: he is a man who should refrain from judging without first informing himself, but he sincerely acknowledges his wrongs. The Master also asks Andrew why he didn't come earlier, and Peter confesses that it was he who held him back. The fisherman also confesses his weaknesses, and Jesus already gives him some initial advice. For the moment, God is not asking him to tear out his heart and separate himself from his most holy affections, but he is asking him to practice justice, love mercy, and apply himself totally to following his God. This pleases Peter. Andrew says nothing, but the Lord promises that he will become a lion. The Galileans leave him, but John wants to follow him to Jerusalem. Simon of Jonah encourages him to go and see Christ, and Jesus agrees to let John accompany him.
Jesus ends with a dictation on John's humility. He is the one who brings Peter to the Savior, but since the son of thunder knew Andrew's shyness, and John was just, Andrew fades into the background of his Gospel and lets people believe that Andrew is the Lord's first apostle.
How many, by comparison, proclaim themselves to be great apostles when their success comes from a combination of things, not only holiness, but also human audacity, luck, the fact that some people are less bold than we are, but perhaps holier than we are.
Christ encourages us not to glorify ourselves when we act well: we must always have a clear eye and "give to whom it may concern the praise that is due to him". We need to recognize the apostles through whom we can do our work effectively. We must be able to say: "I am the active instrument, but this one has more love than I do, prays better than I do, and it's thanks to him that I have the strength to act.
John is the favorite, he is the pure, the loving, the obedient, and he is very humble. Jesus mirrored himself in him, and his Mother felt as if she had a second son.