GRM 169.2
The Gospel as revealed to me
Translation in progress
Notes for this keyword
Peter and Judas
Theme: Interaction with the apostles · Page 3 of 4
Reading comfort
Aa
GRM 180.2-4 · Volume 3
The Gospel as revealed to me
Quotation
« I was rich and powerful. If God had not decided to preserve me for a purpose of His, I would have surrendered myself to despair and perished when I was persecuted and a leper. I would have acted harshly against myself… Instead a new wealth, which I had never possessed before, descended upon my desolation: the wealth of a conviction: “God exists”. First… God… Yes, I believed, I was a faithful Israelite. But mine was a faith of formalism. And I thought that the reward of my faith was always inferior to my virtue. I took the liberty of debating with God because I felt that I was still something on the earth. Simon Peter is right. I, too, was building a tower of Babel[1] by praising myself and satisfying my ego. When everything collapsed around me and I was like a worm crushed by the weight of all this human futility, then I no longer debated with God, but with myself, with my stupid self and I ended up by demolishing it. And as I did so, by making room for what I think is the God immanent in our earthly beings, I gained a new strength and wealth: the certainty that I was not alone and that God was watching over man defeated by men and by evil.»
«According to you, what is God, “the God immanent in our earthly beings” as you said? What do you mean? I do not understand you and I think it is a heresy. God is the One we know through the Law and the Prophets. There is no other God» says rather sternly Judas of Kerioth.
«If John was here he would tell you better than I can. But I will tell you as best I can. God is the One we know through the Law and the Prophets. That is true. But in what do we know Him? And how?»
Judas of Alphaeus exclaims: «Little and badly. The Prophets, who described Him for us, knew Him. The idea we have is a muddled one, as we can just see through a mound of explanations piled up by sects…»
«Sects? What do you mean? We have no sects. We are the children of the Law. We all are» the angry aggressive Iscariot says.
«The children of the laws. Not of the Law. There is a slight difference. Plural, not singular. In actual fact, we are the children of what we created, no longer of what God gave us» retorts Thaddeus.
«The laws derive from the Law» says the Iscariot.
«Also diseases originate in our bodies, but that does not mean that they are good» replies Thaddeus.
«But let me hear what this immanent God of Simon Zealot is.» The Iscariot, who cannot argue against the remark of Judas of Alphaeus, endeavours to take the discussion back to where it started.
180.3
Simon Zealot says: «Our senses need a term to catch an idea. Each of us, I am referring to us believers, believes, by the virtue of faith, in the Most High Lord and Creator, Eternal God, Who is in Heaven. But every being needs more than such bare, pure, incorporeal faith, which is fit and sufficient for the angels who see and love God spiritually, as they share with Him a spiritual nature and can see God. We have to create a “picture” of God for ourselves, which picture is made with the essential features that we ascribe to God, to give a name to His infinite absolute perfection. The more a soul concentrates, the more it succeeds in achieving an exact knowledge of God. That is what I say: the immanent God. I am not a philosopher. Perhaps I have applied the word wrongly. In short, I think that the immanent God is to feel, to perceive God in our spirits, to feel and perceive Him no longer as an abstract idea, but as a real presence, bestowing strength and a new peace upon us.»
«All right. But, to sum up, how did you feel Him? What is the difference between feeling by faith and feeling by immanence?» asks the Iscariot somewhat ironically.
«God is safety, boy. When you perceive Him, as Simon says, by means of that word, which I do not understand literally, but I understand its spirit — and believe me, the trouble is that we understand only literally and we do not understand the spirit of God’s words — it means that you are able to grasp the idea of the terrible majesty, but also of the most sweet paternity of God. It means that, should all the world judge and condemn you unjustly, you would feel that One only, He, the Eternal One, Who is your Father, does not judge you, but absolves and comforts you. It means that if all the world should hate you, you would feel over you a love greater than any this world can offer. It means that if you were isolated in jail or in a desert you would always hear One speak to you and say: “Be holy, that you may be like your Father”. It means that for the true love for this Father and God, Whom at last you perceive as such, you accept, work, take and leave without any human consideration, as you are concerned only to return love for love and to copy God as much as possible in your actions» says Peter.
«You are proud! To copy God! You are not entitled to» declares the Iscariot.
«It is not pride. Love leads to obedience. To copy God seems to me a form of obedience because God said that He made us in His own image and likeness» replies Peter.
«He made us. We must not go higher up.»
«You are a poor wretch, my boy, if that is what you think! You are forgetting that we fell and that God wants to take us back to what we were.»
180.4
Jesus begins to speak: «Even more, Peter, Judas and you all. Even more than that. Adam’s perfection was still susceptible of improvement through love, which would have made him a more precise image of his Creator. Adam without the stain of sin would have been a most shining mirror of God. That is why I say: “Be perfect as your Father Who is in Heaven is perfect”. Like your Father. Therefore like God. Peter is quite right. And so is Simon. I ask you to remember their words and apply them to your souls.»
Peter’s wife almost faints from joy on hearing her husband being praised thus. She weeps behind her veil: she is quiet but happy.
Peter blushes so much that he seems to be having a stroke of apoplexy.
Detail
Simon the Zealot speaks. The question of faith is discussed further in 180.3.
GRM 195.1-3 · Volume 3
The Gospel as revealed to me
Quotation
It is raining and Peter seems to me the opposite of Aeneas, because instead of carrying his father, he has little Jabez on his shoulders, completely covered by Peter’s large mantle. The boy’s little head emerges above the grey-haired head of Peter, who, with the boy’s arms around his neck, dabbles in the puddles, laughing wholeheartedly.
«We might have been spared all this» grumbles the Iscariot, who is irritable because of the water pouring from the sky and splashing his clothes with mud.
«Eh! Many things could be spared!» replies John of Endor, staring at handsome Judas with his one good eye, which I think can see as well as two.
«What do you mean?»
«I mean that it is useless to expect the elements to have consideration for us, when we have none for our neighbour, and concerning matters that are by far more important than a few drops of water or a splash of mud.»
«That is true. But I like to be tidy and clean when I go to town. I have many friends there, and high up.»
«Then watch that you do not fall.»
«Are you teasing me?»
«Nooooh! But I am an old teacher and… an old pupil. I have been learning since I was born. First I learned to vegetate, then I observed life, then I became acquainted with the bitterness of life, I practised a useless justice, the justice of “man alone” against God and society. God punished me with remorse, society with fetters, so, after all, I was the victim of justice. At last, now, I have learned, I am learning how “to live”. Now, since I am a teacher and a pupil, you will realise that it is natural for me to repeat the lessons.»
«But I am an apostle…»
«And I am a poor wretch, I know, and I should never take the liberty of teaching you. But, see, you never know what one may become. I thought I was going to die an honest and respected teacher in Cyprus and I became a murderer and a convict serving a life sentence. But when I raised a knife to take vengeance, and when I was dragging the fetters hating the universe, if anyone told me that I was to become a disciple of the Holy One, I would have doubted whether his mind was sound. And yet… Here I am! So, I may be able to give a good lesson also to you, an apostle. Because of my experience. Not because of my holiness, I would not dream of it.»
«That Roman was right in calling you Diogenes.»
«Of course. But Diogenes was looking for a man and could not find one. I, luckier than he, found a snake where I thought there was a woman, and an adulterer where I thought I saw a friendly man, but after wandering about for many years, as I became insane through such experience, I have found the Man, the Holy One.»
«I know no other wisdom but Israel’s.»
«If that is so, you already have the means for salvation. But now you have also the science, or rather the wisdom of God.»
«It is the same thing.»
«Oh! no! It is like a foggy day compared to a sunny day.»
«Well! Are you anxious to teach me? I don’t feel like it.»
«Let me speak! Once, I used to speak to children: they were absent-minded. Then I spoke to shadows, they cursed me. Then to chickens: they were better, far better than the first two groups. Now I speak to myself, as I am not yet able to speak to God. Why do you want to stop me? I have but one eye, the mines ruined my life, I have suffered from heart trouble for years. At least let my mind be fruitful.»
«Jesus is God.»
«I know, and I believe it. More than you do. Because I have revived through His work, you have not. No matter how good He is, He is still God, and I, a poor wretch dare not treat Him with familiarity as you do. My soul speaks to Him… my lips dare not. My soul does, and I think that He perceives it weeping out of gratitude and repentant love.»
195.2
«That is true, John. I do perceive your soul.» Jesus comes into the conversation of the two. Judas blushes with shame, the man of Endor with joy. «I perceive your soul, that is true. And I perceive also the work of your mind. What you said is correct. When you have been formed in Me, your experience as a teacher and a diligent pupil will be of great help to you. Speak, do speak, also to yourself.»
«Once, Master, not long ago, you told me that it is wrong to speak to one’s ego» remarks Judas insolently.
«That is true, I did[1]. But that was because you were grumbling with your ego. This man is not grumbling, he is meditating, and for a good purpose. He is not doing anything wrong.»
«In brief, I am wrong!» Judas is aggressive.
«No, your heart is impatient. But the weather cannot be always good. Farmers want rain. It is charity to pray that it may rain. And this is also charity. But look, there is a beautiful rainbow forming an arch from Ataroth to Ramah. We are already beyond Ataroth, we have passed the large sad valley, and here the country is cultivated and pleasant under the sun, which is breaking through the clouds. When we are in Ramah we shall be thirty-six stadia from Jerusalem. We shall see the Holy City again after that hill, which is the place of the horrid lewd crime committed by the men of Gibeah[2]. What a terrible thing is the concupiscence of the flesh, Judas…»
Judas does not reply, instead he delays splashing angrily in the puddles.
195.3
«What’s the matter with him, today?» asks Bartholomew.
«Be quiet, lest Simon of Jonah should hear you. Let us avoid all arguments… and do not let us upset Simon. He is so happy with his boy!»
«Yes, Master. But it is not right. I will tell him.»
«He is young, Nathanael. You were young, too…»
«Yes… but… he should not be lacking in respect towards You!» He raises his voice without wishing to do so.
Peter rushes towards them: «What’s the matter? Who is lacking in respect? The new disciple?» and he looks at John of Endor, who has discreetly withdrawn when he understood that Jesus was correcting the apostle and is now speaking to James of Alphaeus and Simon Zealot.
«Not in the least. He is as respectful as a young girl.»
«Oh! Good! Otherwise… his only eye was in danger. Well… it must be Judas!…»
«Listen, Simon, could you not busy yourself with your little friend? You took him away from Me, and now you want to become engaged in a friendly conversation I am having with Nathanael. Do you not think that you want to do too many things?»
Jesus smiles so gently that Peter becomes uncertain about his own thoughts. He looks at Bartholomew… who, however, has raised his aquiline face and is scanning the sky… Peter’s suspicion fades away.
Peter’s attention is completely diverted by the apparition of the Holy City, which is now near and is visible in all the beauty of hills, olive-groves, houses, and above all of the Temple, a sight which must always have been a source of emotion and pride for Israelites.
Detail
Barthélémy and Pierre intervene more in EMV 195.3, following what happens in EMV 195.1-2.
Annotation
- That Roman is right to call you Diogenes. In 192.6.
- It's true, I said it. In EMV 183.1.
When we get to Ramah, we'll be thirty-six furlongs from Jerusalem. 36 x 185 m = 6.6 km.
Gibeah or Guibeah: In the days of the judges, an old man invited a Levite from Ephraim and his concubine to lodge with him for the night. Shortly afterwards, men from Gibeah, scoundrels, surrounded the house, demanding that the Levite be handed over to them so they could have relations with him. The old man offered them his daughter, but they refused. The Levite gave them his concubine. They abused her all night, so much so that she died in the morning. Pieces of her body were sent to the tribes of Israel as a token of infamy (Judges 19:15-30). As the tribe of Benjamin sided with the guilty men of Gibeah, the other tribes waged war against them. Twice, they suffered heavy losses before finally defeating the Benjaminites and delivering Gibeah to the fire (Judges 20).
GRM 196.6 · Volume 3
The Gospel as revealed to me
Quotation
«And the other loves?» ask together Simon Zealot and the man from Endor.
«The first one of the second series is the love for our neighbour. In actual fact it is the fourth in power. Then comes the love for science. Finally the love for work.»
«Is that all?»
«That is all.»
«But there are many more loves!» exclaims Judas of Kerioth.
«There are other hungers. But it is not love. They are the negation of love. They deny God, they deny man. It cannot be love because it is negation and Negation is Hatred.»
«If I deny consent to evil, is that Hatred?» asks Judas Iscariot once again.
«Poor me! You are more captious than a scribe! Can you tell me what is the matter with you? Is the rarified air of Judaea affecting your nerves like a cramp?» exclaims Peter.
«No. I like to learn and to have many clear ideas. It is quite possible we may have to speak to scribes and I do not want to be short of arguments…»
«And do you think that in the moment of need you will be able to pull out the colour required from the sack where you stock all the rags?» asks Peter.
«Rags the words of the Master? You are swearing?»
«Don’t pretend you are scandalized. They are not rags in His mouth; but once they have been mishandled by us they become rags. Try and give a piece of precious byssus to a boy… It will soon become a dirty torn rag. And that is what happens to us. Now if you expect to fish at the right moment the little rag you need, what with the rag, and what with its dirt… uhm! I do not know what you will be up to.»
«Don’t worry. That is my business.»
«Oh! You may be sure that I will not worry! I have enough problems of my own. And then… ! I am happy providing you cause no harm to the Master. Because, in that case, I would also mind your business…»
«You can do that when I do something wrong. But that will never happen, because I know how to behave… I am not ignorant…»
«Instead I am, I know. And because I am, I do not stock any ballast, to flaunt it later, at the right moment. But I implore God and God will help me for the sake of His Messiah, of Whom I am the least and most faithful servant.»
«We are all faithful» replies Judas haughtily.
«Oh! You are bad! Why do you offend my father? He is old and he is good. You must not do that. You are bad and you frighten me» says Jabez with stern countenance, after being silent and listening carefully.
«And that makes two!» whispers James of Zebedee in a low voice, touching Andrew with his elbow.
Although he has spoken in a low voice, the Iscariot hears him.
«You can see, Master, whether the words of the silly boy of Magdala have left a trace» says Judas raging with anger.
Detail
Jesus has just spoken of the different powers of love. First there's God's love, then fatherly and motherly love, then conjugal love.
Annotation
GRM 198.7 · Volume 3
The Gospel as revealed to me
Quotation
«I said: a red dress and a green sash. He will look lovely. Much better than the shade he has on now.»
«Red will be all right. Also Jesus was dressed in red. But I would say that a red sash would be better on a red dress, or at least it should be embroidered in red» says Mary gently.
«I was saying green because I see that Judas, who is swarthy, looks very smart with those green stripes on his red tunic.»
«But these are not green, my friend!» laughs Judas.
«No? What shade are they then?»
«This hue is called “agate vein”.»
«How do you expect me to know that?! They look green to me. I saw that hue also on leaves…»
The Most Holy Virgin interrupts benignly: «Simon is right. It is the exact shade of leaves at the first rain in the month of Tishri…»
«That’s it! And since leaves are green I was saying that it was green» concludes Peter happily. The Sweet Mother has also settled this small matter peacefully.
Detail
Peter talks about Marziam's clothes for her coming-of-age party.
GRM 200.6 · Volume 3
The Gospel as revealed to me
Quotation
Some time goes by, then I hear the voices of the apostles, who have come back… Andrew goes upstairs: «Master, do You want me?»
«Yes, come here. No one will know, but it is only fair that I should tell you. Andrew, thank you in the name of God and of a soul.»
«Thanks? For what?»
«Can you not smell this perfume? It is a souvenir of the Veiled woman. She came. She is saved.»
Andrew turns as red as a cherry, he falls on his knees, and cannot find words… At last he says: «Now I am happy. Blessed be the Lord!»
«Yes, get up. Do not tell the others that she came.»
«I will be quiet, my Lord.»
«You may go. Listen: has Judas of Simon come yet?»
«Yes, he wanted to come with us, telling us… a lot of lies. Why does he do that, Lord?»
«Because he is a spoiled boy. Tell Me the truth: have you quarrelled?»
«No, My brother is too happy with his boy to be anxious to quarrel, and the others, You know… are more prudent. It is true, we are all disgusted, in our hearts. But after supper he is going away… Other friends… he says. Oh! and he despises prostitutes!…»
«Be good, Andrew. You must be happy, too, this evening…»
«Yes, Master. I also have a sweet, although invisible, paternity. I am going.»
Annotation
I, too, have my invisible, but sweet paternity. I'm off. Reference to Peter's paternity towards Marziam. Jesus granted him to be his adoptive father in EMV 199.
GRM 200.7 · Volume 3
The Gospel as revealed to me
Quotation
After some time the apostles come upstairs in a group with the boy and John of Endor. The women follow them with dishes and lamps. The last to come are Lazarus and Simon. As soon as they enter the room, they exclaim: «Ah! it was coming from here!!!» and they smell the air saturated with the scent of roses, although the doors are wide open.
«But who scented this room thus? Perhaps Martha?» many of them ask.
«My sister has not left the house, today, after our meal» replies Lazarus.
«Who then? An Assyrian Satrap?» asks Peter facetiously.
«The love of a redeemed woman» Jesus says gravely.
«She might have spared this useless exhibition of redemption and given the poor what she spent. There are so many of them, and they know that we always give. I have not even a small coin left» says the Iscariot angrily. «And we have to buy a lamb, rent a room for the Supper and…»
«But I offered you everything…» says Lazarus.
«That is not fair. The rite loses its beauty. The Law says: “You shall take a lamb for you and your household”. It does not say: “You shall accept a lamb”.»
Bartholomew turns around all of a sudden, he opens his mouth, but closes it at once. Peter turns crimson in the effort to keep quiet. But the Zealot, who is in his own house, feels he can speak and says: «Those are rabbinical quibbles… May I ask you to forget about them and have, instead, respect for my friend Lazarus.»
«Well done, Simon.» Peter will burst if he does not speak. «Very good! I also think that we are forgetting too much that only the Master is entitled to teach…» Peter has to make an heroic effort to say: «we are forgetting» instead of saying: «Judas is forgetting.»
«It is true… but… I am nervous… I am sorry, Master.»
«Yes. And I also will reply to you. Gratitude is a great virtue. I am grateful to Lazarus. As that redeemed woman was grateful to Me. I pour on Lazarus the perfume of My blessing, also on behalf of those, among My apostles, who are not capable of doing so, I, the head of you all. The woman poured at My feet the perfume of her joy for being saved. She acknowledged the King, she came to the King, before many others upon whom the King bestowed much more love than upon her. Let her do as she wishes without criticising her. She will not be able to be present at My acclamation, or at My unction. Her cross is already upon her shoulders. Peter, you asked whether an Assyrian Satrap had come here. I solemnly tell you that not even the incense of the Magi, so pure and precious, was sweeter or more precious than this. Its essence was mixed with tears and that is why it is so intense: humbleness supports love and makes it perfect. Let us sit down to our meal, My friends…»
And with the offering of the food, the vision ends.
Detail
Aglaia presented herself to Jesus and spread perfume around the room as a sign of her conversion. When the apostles went upstairs, she had already left.
Annotation
Book of Exodus 12, 3
Ex 12, 3: Speak to all the congregation of Israel, and say: On the tenth day of this month, let every man take a lamb for every family, a lamb for every house
GRM 201.2-3 · Volume 3
The Gospel as revealed to me
Quotation
«Master, we are here!» shouts Thomas, who is on the other side of the Gate with Philip and Bartholomew.
«Is Judas not here?», «Why are you here?» ask many.
«No. We came here at daybreak, because we were afraid that You might come earlier. But we have not seen him. I met him yesterday, he was with Sadoc, the scribe, you know, Joseph? The old, very lean man, with a wart under his eye. And there were other people with him… young people. I shouted to him: “Hallo, Judas”. But he did not reply, pretending he did not know me. I said: “But what’s the matter with him?” and I followed him for a few yards. He left Sadoc, in whose company he looked like a Levite, and went with the other men of his own age… who were certainly not Levites… And now he is not here… And he knew that we had decided to come here!»
Philip does not say anything. Bartholomew tightens his lips so much that they can no longer be seen, in an effort to stifle his opinion, which is rising from his heart.
«Very well! Let us go just the same! I will certainly not weep because of his absence» says Peter.
«Let us wait for a little while. He may have been held up» says Jesus seriously.
They lean against the wall, on its shady side, the women in one group, the men in another.
They are all wearing their best clothes. Peter, especially, is really magnificent. He is showing off brand new snow-white headgear, adorned with a galloon embroidered in red and gold. He is wearing his best tunic, a very dark garnet-red, adorned with a new belt identical in style with the decoration of his headgear. A knife, like a dagger, with an engraved hilt and an open-work brass sheath, through which the blade shines, hangs from his belt. The others are also armed more or less in the same fashion. Only Jesus is without a weapon. He is wearing a pure white linen tunic and a fleur-de-lis blue mantle, which Mary has certainly woven for Him during the winter months. Marjiam’s dress is pale red with a festoon in a darker shade around the neck, cuffs and hem. A similar galloon is embroidered around the waist and the hem of the mantle, which the boy is carrying on his arm and caresses happily. Now and again he raises his head and his little face looks half smiling and half worried… Also Peter has a little parcel in his hand and he holds it very carefully.
201.3
Some time goes by… but there is no sign of Judas.
«He did not deign…» grumbles Peter, and perhaps he would say something else, but John, the apostle, says: «Perhaps he is waiting for us at the Golden Gate…»
They go to the Temple. But Judas is not there.
Joseph of Arimathea loses patience. He says: «Let us go.»
GRM 201.7 · Volume 3
The Gospel as revealed to me
Quotation
How happy is Peter with his boy, who is now a perfect Israelite! He is so happy that he does not notice the wrinkle that furrows Jesus’ forehead. So happy that he does not notice the rather oppressive silence of his companions. It is only in the hall of Joseph’s house – when the boy, who is asked the ritual question as to what he wants to do in future, replies: «I will be a fisherman like my father» – that Peter, weeping, remembers and understands…
«But… Judas has spoiled our feast with a drop of poison… And You are upset, Master… and that is why the others are sad. Forgive me if I did not notice it before… Ah! Judas!…»
I think that everybody’s heart is sighing like Peter’s. But Jesus, to remove the poison, strives to smile and says: «Do not worry, Simon. We miss only your wife… I was also thinking of her; she is so good and is always sacrificed. But she will soon have her joy, unexpected but so welcome. Let us think of the good that is in the world. Come. So Marjiam answered all the questions correctly? I knew he would…»
Joseph comes back into the hall after giving instructions to his servants. «I thank you all» he says «for making me feel young again with this ceremony and for the honour of having in my house the Master, His Mother, His relatives and you all, my dear fellow disciples. Come into the garden. It is cool and the flowers…» and it all ends.
Detail
Marziam has just passed her majority exam.
GRM 203.3-4 · Volume 3
The Gospel as revealed to me
Quotation
One of you has suffered very much during the past days. He suffered undeservedly, also because of his effort to repress his indignation aroused by the undeserved deed. Yes, Simon of Jonah, come here. Not one throb of your honest heart has been concealed from Me, neither has there been any grief that I have not shared with you. Both I and your companions…»
«But You, my Lord, have been offended more than I was! And that was for me a greater pain,… no… a more sensitive… no, not that… a more… more. Well: that Judas should have loathed to be present at my feast, has hurt me as a man. But to see You grieved and offended has hurt me in a different way and I suffered twice as much… I… I do not want to boast and show off by using Your words… But I must say, and if it is due to pride in me, tell me, I must say that I suffered with my soul… and it hurts more.»
«It is not pride, Simon. You suffered spiritually, because Simon of Jonah, a fisherman in Galilee, is changing into Peter of Jesus, the Master of the spirit, so that also His disciples are becoming active and wise in the spirit. It is for this progress of Yours in the life of the spirit, it is because of such progress of you all, that I want to teach you the prayer this evening. How much you have changed after the solitary retreat!»
«Everybody, Lord?» asks Bartholomew who sounds rather incredulous.
«I understand what you mean… But I am speaking to you eleven. Not to anyone else…»
«But what is the matter with Judas of Simon, Master? We do not understand him any more… He seemed so changed, but now, since we left the lake…» says Andrew desolately.
«Be quiet, brother. I have the key to the mystery! A little bit of Beelzebub has stuck to him. He went to look for it in the cave at Endor to astonish us… and he was served as he deserved! The Master said it on that day… At Gamala the demons rushed into the pigs. At Endor the demons came out of that poor wretch of John into him… We know that… we know that… Let me tell them, Master! I have it here, in my throat, and if I do not say it, it will not come out and it will poison me…»
«Be good, Simon!»
«Yes, Master… and I would assure You that I will not be rude to him. But I say and think that since Judas is a vicious fellow – and we all know that – he is somewhat similar to a pig… and obviously demons willingly choose pigs when… changing their dwelling places. There it is: I have said it.»
«Do you think it is thus?» asks James of Zebedee.
«What else can it be! There is no other reason why he should be so difficult. He is worse now than he was at the Clear Water! And there one might have thought that the place and the season made him so nervous. But now…»
203.4
«There is another reason, Simon…»
«Tell us, Master. I will be happy to change my mind about my companion.»
«Judas is jealous. He is agitated because he is jealous.»
«Jealous? Of whom? He is not married, and even if he were, and went with women, I think that none of us would be rude to a fellow disciple…»
«He is jealous of Me. Just think: Judas changed after Endor and after Esdraelon. That is, when he saw that I was taking care of John and of Jabez. But now that John, above all, John, will be going away, as he will be leaving Me and staying with Isaac, you will see that Judas will become merry and good once again…»
«Well!… But You are not going to tell me that he is not possessed by a little demon. And above all… No, I will say it! And above all You will not tell me that he has improved during these last months. I was jealous as well, last year… I would not have liked anybody except the six of us, the first six, do You remember? Now, now… Let me invoke God just this once as witness to what I am going to say. Now I say that the more the disciples increase in numbers around You, the happier I am. Oh! I would like to bring all men to You and I would also like to have all the necessary means to help those who are in need, so that misery may not hinder anyone from coming to You. God sees whether I am telling the truth. But why am I thus now? Because I let You change me. He… has not changed. On the contrary… Yes, Master… A little demon has possessed him…»
«Do not say that. Do not think that. Pray that he may be cured. Jealousy is a disease…»
«Of which one can be cured beside You, if one wants to. Ah! I will put up with him, for Your sake… But, how difficult it is!…»
«I gave you a prize for that: the boy. And now I will teach you how to pray…»
«Oh! yes, Brother. Let us speak of that… and let us remember my namesake only as one who is in need of prayer. I think he has already had his punishment. He is not with us just now!» says Judas Thaddeus.
Detail
Simon Peter's suffering at the hands of Judas and the Iscariot's jealousy of John of Endor. Some of the apostles intervene during this exchange.
Annotation
My namesake: Judas and Jude are the same first name, even if the French used different forms.