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Notes for this theme

Who are the apostles?

Page 12 of 73

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GRM 70.8-9

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

70.8 Then Jesus says:

«Another comparison between My John and another disciple. A comparison that makes the figure of My beloved disciple clearer and clearer.

He is the one who divests himself also of his own way of thinking and judging, in order to be “the disciple”. He is the one who gives himself without wishing to withhold even a particle of himself, as his self was before becoming a disciple. Judas is the one who does not want to divest himself of himself. His donation is therefore unreal. He carries with himself his ego diseased with pride, sensuality and greed. He maintains his way of thinking. And he thus counteracts the effect of the donation and of Grace.

Judas: the first of all the apostles who failed. And they are so many! John: the first of those who become victims out of love for Me. And you are one of them.

My Mother and I are the sublime Victims. It is difficult to reach us, in fact it is impossible, because our sacrifice was of total bitterness. But My John! He is the victim that all My lovers can imitate: virgins, martyrs, confessors, evangelisers, servants of God and of the Mother of God, devoted to activity or contemplation: he is an example for everyone. He is the one who loves.

Note their different ways of reasoning. Judas investigates, quibbles, is obstinate, even when he pretends to give in, he still has mental reservations. John feels he is nothing, he accepts everything, he does not ask for reasons, he is satisfied with making Me happy. That is the example.

70.9 And did you not feel completely peaceful before his simple dear love? Oh! My John! And My little John, whom I want to be more and more like My beloved. Accept everything, always saying as the apostle: “Everything You do, is well done, Master”, in order to deserve to always hear Me say to you: “You are My loving peace”. I need comfort as well, Mary. Give Me it. My Heart for your rest.»

Detail

Dictation in connection with EMV 70.1-6

GRM 71

The Gospel as revealed to me

Detail

Jesus speaks to Judas. They are waiting for Simon the Zealot and John of Zebedee, who are to join him. Jesus reveals that John is his first disciple, and Judas is hurt, but he says nothing to the Master. The Master, who knows the heart, asks the Iscariot why he doesn't tell him what he thinks. Then he asks him if his father loved him, and Judas speaks of his sire with emotion. The Lord then assures him that, if his father raised him as Judas tells him, he was certainly a righteous man, and that he will rejoice to know him a disciple of the Messiah. But Judas must see in Jesus the father he had lost, and hide nothing from him. Judas declares that he will become good if Christ loves him that much. He confesses that he was hurt not to have been the first disciple, but Jesus assures him that He makes no difference in His heart between the first and the last.

Simon and John arrive in the meantime. The former leper greets his Savior with a shout of joy, and Jesus blesses him for the evangelistic work he has already accomplished. Simon takes the opportunity to mention Lazarus, and Jesus promises to visit him. Then the introductions between the disciples take place. Jesus sends John with Judas, and he asks Simon to be lenient with this man, whom Simon-Peter and others will not appreciate. Simon agrees, and with these words they go off to evangelize the people at the Temple.

GRM 71.1-2

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

71.1 I see Jesus with Judas Iscariot walking up and down near one of the gates of the Temple enclosure.

«Are You sure he will come?» asks Judas.

«I am certain. He was leaving Bethany at dawn and at Gethsemane he was to meet My first disciple…»

There is a pause, then Jesus stops and stares at Judas. He is standing in front of him. He studies him. He then places a hand on his shoulder and asks: «Why, Judas, do you not tell Me your thoughts?»

«Which thoughts? I have no special thought, Master, at the present moment. I ask You even too many questions. You certainly cannot complain of my silence.»

«You ask Me many questions and You give Me many details on the town and its inhabitants. But you do not unburden yourself to Me. What do you think it matters to Me what you tell Me about the wealth of people and the members of this or that family? I am not an idler who has come here to while away the time. You know why I have come. And you may well realise that I am concerned with being the Master of My disciples, as the most important thing. I therefore want sincerity and trust from them.

71.2 Was your father fond of you, Judas?»

«He was very fond of me. He was proud of me. When I went back home from school, and even later, when I went back to Kerioth from Jerusalem, he wanted me to tell him everything. He took an interest in everything I did and he would rejoice if they were good things, he would comfort me if they were not so good, if – sometimes, You know, we all make mistakes – if I had made a mistake and had been blamed for it, he would show me the fairness of the reproach I had received, or the injustice of my action. But he did it so gently… he seemed like an older brother. He always ended by saying: “I am saying this because I want my Judas to be just. I want to be blessed through my son”. My father…»

Jesus, Who has been carefully studying His disciple all the time, truly moved at the evocation of his father, says: «Now, Judas, be sure of what I am going to tell you. Nothing will make your father so happy, as your being a faithful disciple. Your father, who brought you up as you said, must have been a just man and his soul will rejoice, where he is awaiting the light, seeing that you are My disciple. But in order to be such, you must say to yourself: “I have found my lost father, the father who was like an older brother to me, I have found him in my Jesus, and I will tell Him everything, as I used to tell my beloved father, over whose death I am still mourning, that I may receive from Him guidance, blessings or a kind reproach”. May God grant it, and above all may you behave so that Jesus will always say to you: “You are good. I bless you”.»

«Oh! yes, Jesus! If You love me so much, I will strive to be good, as You want and my father wanted me to be. And my mother will no longer have an aching pain in her heart. She used to say: “You have no guide now, my son, and you still need one so much”. When she knows that I have You!»

«I will love you as no other man could possibly love you, I will love you so much, I do love you. Do not disappoint Me.»

«No, Master, I will not. I was full of conflicts. Envy, jealousy, eagerness to excel, sensuality, everything clashed in me against the voice of my conscience. Even quite recently, see? You caused me to suffer. That is: no, not You. It was my wicked nature… I thought I was Your first disciple… and, now You have just told me that You already have one.»

«You saw him yourself. Do you not remember that at Passover I was in the Temple with many Galileans?»

«I thought they were friends… I thought I was the first one to be chosen for such destiny, and that I was therefore the dearest.»

«There are no distinctions in My heart between the first and the last. If the first one should err and the last one were a holy man, then there would be a distinction in the eyes of God. But I will love just the same: I will love the holy living man with a blissful love, and the sinner with a suffering love.»

GRM 71.1

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

71.1 I see Jesus with Judas Iscariot walking up and down near one of the gates of the Temple enclosure.

«Are You sure he will come?» asks Judas.

«I am certain. He was leaving Bethany at dawn and at Gethsemane he was to meet My first disciple…»

Detail

Jesus is waiting for Simon the Zealot.

GRM 71.2

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

«I thought I was Your first disciple… and, now You have just told me that You already have one.»

«You saw him yourself. Do you not remember that at Passover I was in the Temple with many Galileans?»

«I thought they were friends… I thought I was the first one to be chosen for such destiny, and that I was therefore the dearest.»

«There are no distinctions in My heart between the first and the last. If the first one should err and the last one were a holy man, then there would be a distinction in the eyes of God. But I will love just the same: I will love the holy living man with a blissful love, and the sinner with a suffering love.»

Detail

Judas said:

GRM 71.3-4

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

But here is John coming with Simon. John, My first disciple, Simon, the one of whom I spoke to you two days ago. You have already seen Simon and John. One was ill…»

«Ah! The leper! I remember. Is he already Your disciple?»

«Since the following day.»

«And why did I have to wait so long?»

«Judas?!»

«You are right. Forgive me.»

John has seen the Master, and he points Him out to Simon. They make haste. John and the Master kiss each other. Simon, instead, throws himself at Jesus’ feet and kisses them, exclaiming: «Glory to my Saviour! Bless Your servant that his actions may be holy in the eyes of God and that I may glorify Him and bless Him for giving You to me.»

Jesus places His hand on Simon’s head: «Yes, I bless you to thank you for your work. Get up, Simon. This is John, and this is Simon: here is My last disciple. He also wants to follow the Truth. He is therefore a brother for you all.»

They greet each other: the two Judaeans inquisitively, John heartily.

«Are you tired, Simon?» asks Jesus.

«No, Master. With my health I have recovered a vitality I never felt before.»

«And I know you make good use of it. I have spoken to many people and they all told Me that you have already instructed them about the Messiah.»

Simon smiles happily. «Also last night I spoke of You to one who is an honest Israelite. I hope You will meet him one day. I would like to take You to him.»

«That is quite possible.»

Judas joins in the conversation: «Master, You promised to come with me, in Judaea.»

«And I will. Simon will continue to teach the people on My coming. The time is short, My dear friends, and the people are so many.

71.4

I will now go with Simon. You two will come and meet Me this evening on the road to the Mount of Olives and we will give money to the poor. Go now.»

When Jesus is alone with Simon, He asks him: «Is that person in Bethany a true Israelite?»

«He is a true Israelite. His ideas are the prevailing ones, but he is really longing for the Messiah. And when I said to him: “He is now among us”, he replied at once: “I am blessed because I am living this hour”.»

«We shall go to him one day and take our blessing to his house. Have you seen the new disciple?»

«I have. He is young and seems intelligent.»

«Yes, he is. Since you are a Judaean, You will bear more with him than the others will, because of his ideas.»

«Is that a desire, or an order?»

«A kind order. You have suffered and You can be more indulgent. Sorrow teaches many things.»

«If You give me an order, I will be totally indulgent to him.»

«Yes. Be so. Perhaps Peter, and he may not be the only one, will be somewhat upset seeing how I take care and worry about this disciple. But one day, they will understand… The more one is deformed, the more assistance one needs. The others… oh! the others form properly, also by themselves, by simple contact. I do not want to do everything by Myself. I want the will of man and the help of other people to form a man. I ask you to help Me… and I am grateful for the help.»

«Master, do You think he will be disappointing You?»

«No. But he is young and was brought up in Jerusalem.»

«Oh! near You he will amend all the vices of that town… I am sure. I was already old and hardened by bitter hatred, and yet I have changed completely after seeing You…»

Jesus whispers: «So be it!» Then in a loud voice: «Let us go to the Temple. I will evangelise the people.»

And the vision ends.

Detail

Jesus is with Judas, and Simon the Zealot and John join him.

GRM 71.3-4

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

John has seen the Master, and he points Him out to Simon. They make haste. John and the Master kiss each other. Simon, instead, throws himself at Jesus’ feet and kisses them, exclaiming: «Glory to my Saviour! Bless Your servant that his actions may be holy in the eyes of God and that I may glorify Him and bless Him for giving You to me.»

Jesus places His hand on Simon’s head: «Yes, I bless you to thank you for your work. Get up, Simon. This is John, and this is Simon: here is My last disciple. He also wants to follow the Truth. He is therefore a brother for you all.»

They greet each other: the two Judaeans inquisitively, John heartily.

«Are you tired, Simon?» asks Jesus.

«No, Master. With my health I have recovered a vitality I never felt before.»

«And I know you make good use of it. I have spoken to many people and they all told Me that you have already instructed them about the Messiah.»

Simon smiles happily. «Also last night I spoke of You to one who is an honest Israelite. I hope You will meet him one day. I would like to take You to him.»

«That is quite possible.»

Judas joins in the conversation: «Master, You promised to come with me, in Judaea.»

«And I will. Simon will continue to teach the people on My coming. The time is short, My dear friends, and the people are so many.

71.4 I will now go with Simon. You two will come and meet Me this evening on the road to the Mount of Olives and we will give money to the poor. Go now.»

Detail

Jesus is with Judas, and Simon the Zealot and John join him.

GRM 71.4

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

«Have you seen the new disciple?»

«I have. He is young and seems intelligent.»

«Yes, he is. Since you are a Judaean, You will bear more with him than the others will, because of his ideas.»

«Is that a desire, or an order?»

«A kind order. You have suffered and You can be more indulgent. Sorrow teaches many things.»

«If You give me an order, I will be totally indulgent to him.»

«Yes. Be so. Perhaps Peter, and he may not be the only one, will be somewhat upset seeing how I take care and worry about this disciple. But one day, they will understand… The more one is deformed, the more assistance one needs. The others… oh! the others form properly, also by themselves, by simple contact. I do not want to do everything by Myself. I want the will of man and the help of other people to form a man. I ask you to help Me… and I am grateful for the help.»

«Master, do You think he will be disappointing You?»

«No. But he is young and was brought up in Jerusalem.»

«Oh! near You he will amend all the vices of that town… I am sure. I was already old and hardened by bitter hatred, and yet I have changed completely after seeing You…»

Jesus whispers: «So be it!» Then in a loud voice: «Let us go to the Temple. I will evangelise the people.»

And the vision ends.

Detail

Jesus talks to Simon the Zealot about Judas and Simon Peter.

GRM 72

The Gospel as revealed to me

Detail

Jesus, John, Simon the Zealot and Judas are together. The Master asks them to accompany him to Judea, unless it would be very painful for them, especially Simon. But Simon says he has a new vigor since the Lord's miracle, and that the scales of hate have fallen from his heart. He even claims that this miracle of the heart is greater than the physical miracle, and grumbling, Judas asks why Jesus doesn't act this way with everyone. John then steps in and says that the Master is already changing them: at least he has been since the Messiah called him to follow him. The Beloved is then embarrassed to have spoken in front of the Master, but James' brother didn't want Judas to sadden the Master. Then Jesus speaks up and says that there will come a time when they will receive strength, grace and wisdom from the Lord, and judge justly. He even says that he will send them out and that they will be able to perform miracles... Judas rejoices at this thought, John less so, for they will no longer be with Jesus. Simon the Zealot nevertheless points out to them that if Christ acts in this way, it's because he'll know what he's doing and that they should trust him, remaining humble even when they perform miracles. Judas declares that if he wants to perform miracles, it's to see the Master triumph... And Simon speaks to him skilfully about the human thoughts that corrupt the image of Christ announced in Scripture: he takes the example of the Zealots, who wanted a human Kingdom and were punished by God and Rome. In his punishment, however, Simon knew the Son of God and recognized him at the right moment.

The conversation dies down, and Jesus reveals that they are going to Bethlehem.

GRM 72.1-6

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

72.1 I see, early in the morning, Jesus, Who at the same Gate meets His disciples Simon and Judas. John is already with Jesus. And I hear Him say: «My friends, I ask you to come with Me through Judaea. If it is not too much for you, particularly for you, Simon.»

«Why, Master?»

«It is hard to walk on the Judaean mountains… and perhaps it will be even more painful for you to meet someone who harmed you.»

«As far as the road is concerned, I wish to assure You, once again, that after You healed me, I feel stronger than a young man and no work is heavy for me, also because it is done for You, and now, with You. With regards to meeting people who harmed me, there is no harsh resentment or feeling in Simon’s heart, since he became Yours. Hatred has gone together with the scales of the disease. And believe me, I cannot tell You whether You worked a greater miracle in healing my corroded flesh or my soul consumed by hatred. I do not think I am wrong in saying the latter miracle was the greater. A wound of the soul heals less easily… and You healed me in one second. That is a miracle. Because one does not recover all of a sudden, even if one wants to with all one’s strength and a man does not get rid of a bad moral habit, if You do not destroy that habit with Your sanctifying will power.»

«Your judgement, is correct.»

72.2

«Why do You not do that with everyone?» asks Judas, somewhat resentful.

«But He does, Judas. Why do you speak like that to the Master? Do you not feel you have changed since you have been in contact with Him? Previously, I was a disciple of John the Baptist. But I have found myself completely changed since He said to me: “Come”.» John, who in general very seldom interferes, and never does in the presence of the Master, this time cannot keep quiet. Kind and loving, he lays one hand on Judas’ arm as if to calm him down and he speaks to him anxiously and persuasively. He then realises he has spoken before Jesus, he blushes and says: «Forgive me, Master, I spoke in Your stead, but I wanted… I did not want Judas to grieve You.»

«Yes, John. But he did not grieve Me as My disciple. When he is My disciple, then, if he persists in his way of thinking, he will grieve Me.

72.3

It grieves Me only to notice how much man has been corrupted by Satan who perverts his thoughts. All men, you know! The thoughts of all of you have been misled by him! But the day will come, when you will have the Strength and the Grace of God, you will have Wisdom with His Spirit… you will then have everything to enable you to judge rightly.»

«And will we all judge rightly.»

«No, Judas.»

«But are You referring to us, disciples, or to all men?»

«I refer firstly to you, and to all the others. When the time comes, the Master will nominate His workers and send them all over the world…»

«Are You not doing that already?»

«For the time being, I use you only to say: “The Messiah is here. Come to Him”. Later I will make you capable of preaching in My name, of working miracles in My name…»

«Oh! Also miracles?»

«Yes, on bodies and on souls.»

«Oh! How they will admire us, then!» Judas is overjoyed at the thought.

72.4

«But, then, we shall not be with the Master… and I will always be afraid to do with my human capacity what comes only from God» says John, and he looks thoughtfully and somewhat sadly at Jesus.

«John, if the Master will allow me, I would like to tell you what I think» says Simon.

«Yes, tell John. I want you to advise one another.»

«Do You already know it is advice?»

Jesus smiles and is quiet.

«Well, I tell you, John, that you must not, we must not be afraid. Let us rest upon His wisdom of a holy Master and upon His promise. If He says: “I will send you”, it means that He knows that He can send us without any fear that we may do harm to Him or to ourselves, that is to the cause of God, that is so dear to each of us, like a newly-wed bride. If He promises to dress our intellectual and spiritual misery with the brightness of the power His Father gives Him for us, we must be certain that He will do so and that we will be successful, not by ourselves, but through His mercy. All this will most certainly happen, providing our deeds are free from pride and human ambitions. I think that if we contaminate our mission, which is entirely a spiritual one, with earthly ingredients, then also Christ’s promise will no longer stand. Not because of any inability on His part, but because we shall strangle such ability with the rope of pride.

72.5

I do not know whether I have made myself understood.»

«You have spoken very clearly. I am wrong. But you know… I think that after all, to wish to be admired as the Messiah’s disciples, so close to Him as to deserve to do what He does, is the same as wishing to increase even more the powerful figure of Christ among people. Praise to the Master Who has such disciples, that is what I mean» answers Judas.

«What you say is not entirely wrong. But… see, Judas. I come from a caste which is persecuted because… because what and how the Messiah should be is misunderstood. Yes. If we had waited for Him with the correct vision of His being, we would not have fallen into errors, which are blasphemy against the Truth and a rebellion against the Law of Rome, so that we have been punished both by God and by Rome. We fancied Christ as a conqueror who would free Israel, as a new Maccabaeus, greater than the great Judas… Only that. And why? Because rather than have regard to the interest of God we took care of our own interests: of the fatherland and of the people. Oh! The interests of the fatherland are most certainly sacred. But what are they when compared to the eternal Heavens? In the long hours of persecution, first, and then of isolation, when as a fugitive, I was compelled to hide in the dens of wild beasts, sharing food and a bed with them, to escape Roman power and above all the impeachments of false friends; or when, waiting for death I was already tasting the savour of the sepulchre, in the cave of a leper, how much did I meditate, and how much did I see: I saw the figure of the Messiah… Yours, my humble and good Master, Yours, Master and King of the Spirit, Yours, O Christ, Son of the Father, leading to the Father, and not to the royal palaces of dust, nor to the deities of mud. You… Oh! It is easy for me to follow You… Because, forgive my daring, which avows itself to be correct, because I see You as I thought of You, I recognise You, I recognised You at once. No, it was not a question of meeting You, but of recognising One whom my soul had already met…»

«That is why I called you… and that is why I am taking you with Me, now, in this first journey of Mine in Judaea.

72.6

I want you to complete your recognition… and I want also these, whom age makes less capable of reaching the Truth by means of deep meditation, I want them to know how their Master has come to this hour… You will understand later. There is David’s Tower. The Eastern Gate is near.»

«Are we going out through it?»

«Yes, Judas. We are going to Bethlehem first. Where I was born… You ought to know… to tell the others. That also is part of the knowledge of the Messiah and of the Scriptures. You will find prophecies written in things not as prophecies but as history. Let us go around Herod’s houses…»

«The old, wicked, lustful fox.»

«Do not judge. There is God, Who judges. Let us go along the path through these vegetable gardens. We will stop under the shade of a tree, near some hospitable house, until it cools down. We will then go on our way.»

The vision ends.

Detail

Simon the Zealot, Judas and John have a conversation together about the miracles Jesus works on hearts and how Christ transforms them inwardly (72.1-2). Then the conversation turns to sending the disciples on mission, with John saddened at having to leave the Master, and Judas dreaming of being able to perform miracles. Simon the Zealot humbly gives his point of view and speaks of his own experience as a leper (72.3-4).