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GRM 187.3 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

«Where are we going exactly?» asks Peter.

«To give Passover to those who suffer. I have been wanting to do it for a long time. But I could not. I would have done it going back to Galilee. Now that they compel us to go along roads that we have not chosen, I am going to bless Jonah’s poor friends.»

«We will be wasting a lot of time! Passover is near! There are always delays for various reasons.» Another chorus of complaints rises to the sky. I do not know how Jesus can be so patient…

Without reproaching anyone He says: «Please, do not hinder Me! Endeavour to understand My need to love and to be loved. I have but this solace on the earth: to love and do the will of God.»

«And are we going from here? Was it not better to go from Nazareth?»

«If I had suggested that, you would have rebelled. No one will suspect that I am here… and I am doing it for you… because you are afraid.»

«Afraid? Ah! No! We are ready to fight for You.»

«Pray the Lord not to put you to the test. I know that you are quarrelsome, resentful, anxious to offend those who offend Me and to humble your neighbour. I know all that. But I do not know you to be brave. As far as I am concerned, I would have also gone by Myself and along the main road and nothing would have happened because it is not yet the time. But I feel sorry for you. I have to obey My Mother, yes, but I do not want to upset Simon the Pharisee. I will not disgust them. But they will disgust Me.»

«And where do we go from here? I am not familiar with this area» says Thomas.

«We will reach Tabor, we will coast part of it and will go to Nain via Endor; from there to the plain of Esdraelon. Be not afraid!… Doras, the son of Doras, and Johanan are already in Jerusalem.»

GRM 187.5 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

«Lord… You said that afterwards we shall be going to Endor. Make me happy too… that I may get over the bitterness of the boy’s judgement…» says the 1scariot.

«Oh! are you still thinking about that?» asks Jesus.

«Yes, always. I feel degraded in Your eyes and in the eyes of my companions. I think of what Your thoughts…»

«Why do you fret over trifles? I was not thinking of that trifle any longer, neither were the others. You are reminding us… You are a child accustomed only to being caressed and the word of a little boy seems the sentence of a judge to you. But you must not be afraid of that word, but of your actions and of God’s judgement. But to convince you that you are as dear to Me as previously, as always, I tell you that I will satisfy you. What do you wish to see at Endor? It is a poor village among the rocks…»

«Take me there… and I will tell You.»

«All right. But mind it does not cause you to suffer afterwards…»

«If it cannot be painful for him to contemplate the sea, it cannot be harmful to me to see Endor.»

«To see?… But it is the desire of what one seeks to see in looking that can be harmful. But we shall go…»

And they carry on along the road towards Mount Tabor, the huge mass of which appears to be nearer and nearer, while the marshy aspect of the ground changes, as the soil becomes solid and dry and the vegetation thinner, making room for taller plants and bushes of clematis and blackberries, the new leaves and early flowers of which are a pleasant sight.

GRM 188

The Gospel as revealed to me

Detail

Chapter title: At En-Dor, after an ascent of Mount Tabor. The magician's cave and the meeting with Félix, who receives the name Jean.

Date of vision: Wednesday, June 13, 1945.

Calendar: Friday, March 17, 28 (4 Nissan 3788)

Location (map): En-Dor

Cycle: The second Paschal journey

Summary: The apostles have now passed Mount Tabor and arrived at En-Dor. Judas reveals that he wants to hear Jesus speak about King Saul, in the place where he met the sorceress. The group ask around and are advised to go and see a one-eyed old man, who decides to guide them there. In the meantime, he tells his story. In the past, this former Jew quarreled with a Roman and killed him over a woman. In the brawl, he lost his eye and was sentenced to the galleys. But he managed to escape. Now he lives in hatred, even of God. Jesus encourages him to leave behind his hatred and painful memories, so that He can give him something new: love. Felix laughs, but is finally touched by Jesus' gaze. He then learns that he is the Messiah, and Christ tells him again that he had moments of kindness, caring for others and regretting the wrong he had done to his guardian in the galleys. Increasingly touched, Felix points out a hovel where the events with Saul took place and waits for them there.

It's not a very glorious place, as Peter points out, and Jesus ends up talking about Saul's sin. Sin of ingratitude, disobedience, scandals, jealousy, and crime in killing his soul right here. The Master then asks the Iscariot why he wanted to come here, and the latter confesses that he hoped to absorb some of the magic of this place, so that he could do imposing works for the sake of Christ and his mission.

Jesus told him in a very fatherly way that he should avoid occultism and things that can't be explained. You mustn't try to perform obscure prodigies, but astonish with your holiness. Furthermore, we must not disturb the dead, and the Lord has forbidden occultism, necromancy and Satanism "in all its forms". Instead, we must go towards the Light, towards God. To console him, Jesus tells him that after Passover, they'll go to his mother's house.

Félix, for his part, wants a word with Jesus as they set off again. He asks him to come out of his spiritual tomb. The old one-eyed man has realized that he can still love and be loved, and asks him for a new name. Christ gave him the name John and accepted him as one of his disciples. The apostles are not thrilled, but put on a brave face.

John leaves to get his things, and Jesus takes advantage of being alone with the Twelve to order them not to talk about his past to anyone. Then they join him, and while the man has no trouble leaving his home, he has more trouble leaving behind his chickens, who have loved him and whom he has loved. Jesus understands this and tells him that he will give him all the love the world has denied him for thirty-five years. The Master then asks Matthew and Simon the Zealot to testify, and Simon confirms that all the past disappears if you put yourself at the service of the Lord. As for Matthew, he declares that peace and new youth have replaced the old age of "vice and hatred".

The villagers finally understand that this is the Messiah, and they want Christ's blessing. As the group leaves, Pierre befriends Jean d'En-Dor and helps him carry his books, which he has taken with him.

Chapter contents: 188.1: Why go to En-Dor? 188.2: In search of the Pythoness's cave, forgotten by all but one. 188.3: The cantankerous guide tells Jesus about his life and his hatred. 188.4: Without love, the world is hell, and you still have goodness in you. 188.5: Arrival at the cave where Saul committed one of his sins. 188.6: Judas wishes he were a bit of a necromancer to help him in his apostolate. 188.7: Felix becomes John, leaves everything and clings to Jesus. 188.8: He gives away all his possessions and turns the page on his past. 188.9: He donates his house to the neighbor who, recognizing Jesus, stirs up the crowd, some of whom follow Jesus. 188.10: Peter's sympathy for John of En-Dor, whom he helps to carry his bag of books.

Previous edition: Tome 3, chapter 49

GRM 188.1-2.5 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

188.1

Jesus and the apostles have passed Mount Tabor and left it behind them. They are now walking on a plain lying between that mountain and another one facing it, talking of the climb made by them all, although at the beginning the elder ones had not been too keen. But now they are happy they had gone up to the top. The journey is now easy because they are on a main road which is quite comfortable for walking. It is early in the morning because I am under the impression that they have spent the night on the slopes of the Tabor.

«That is Endor» says Jesus pointing to a poor village built on the first heights of the other mountain. «Do you really want to go there?»

«If You wish to make me happy…» responds the Iscariot.

«Let us go, then.»

«But is it a long way?» asks Bartholomew, who, because of his age, is not very keen on walking tours.

«Oh! no! But if you wish to stay…» says Jesus.

«Yes! You may stay. I will go with the Master» says Judas of Kerioth immediately.

«Listen, before making up my mind, I would like to know what there is to be seen… From the top of Mount Tabor we saw the sea and after the boy’s speech I must admit that I saw it properly for the first time and I saw it as You see: with my heart. Here… I would like to know whether there is anything to learn, because in that case I will come even if it is tiresome…» says Peter.

«Do you hear that? You have not yet said what you intend doing. Be kind to your companions and tell us now» says Jesus invitingly.

«Did Saul not go to Endor[1] to consult the necromancer?»

«Yes, he did. So?»

«Well, Master, I would like to go there and hear You speak of Saul.»

«In that case I will come, too!» exclaims Peter full of enthusiasm.

«Let us go then.»

They walk fast along the last stretch of the main road, which they leave to follow a secondary road, which takes straight to Endor.

188.2

It is a poor village, as Jesus said. The houses cling to the slopes which, beyond the village become steeper. Poor people live in them. Most of them must be shepherds who pasture their flocks on the sides of the mountain and in the woods of old oak-trees. There are a few small fields of barley, or similar fodder grains, in favourable sites and some apple and fig-trees. There are only a few vines around the houses, decorating the walls, which are dark because the place is obviously a damp one.

«We will now ask where the place of the necromancer was» says Jesus. And He stops a woman who is coming back from the fountain with pitchers.

She looks at Him curiously, then replies impolitely: «I don’t know. I have much more important things to worry about than such nonsense!» and she goes away.

Jesus turns to an old man who is carving a bit of wood.

«The necromancer?… Saul?… Who bothers about them now? But, wait… There is one here who has studied and perhaps he knows… Come with me.»

And the old man climbs laboriously up a stony lane to a very poor and shabby looking house. «He lives here. I will go in and call him.»

Peter, pointing at some poultry scratching about in a dirty yard, says: «This fellow is not an Israelite.» But he says no more because the old man comes back followed by a man blind in one eye, who is as dirty and untidy as everything around his house.

The old man says: «See? This man says that it is over there beyond that dilapidated house. There is a path, a stream, a wood and some caves, the one at the top, where there are still traces of ruined walls on one side, is the one you are looking for. Is that right?»

«No. You have muddled everything. I will go with these strangers.» The man’s voice is harsh and guttural, which increases everybody’s feeling of uneasiness. (...)

188.5

They arrive at a cavern made of rubble and mountain caves. The man endeavours to steady his voice and says: «Here it is. You may go in.»

«Thank you, My friend. Be good.»

The man does not say anything and remains where he was, while Jesus with His apostles, passing over large stones which must have been part of very strong walls, upsetting green lizards and other ugly looking insects, enters a large smoky grotto, on the walls of which there are still graffiti signs of the zodiac and similar things. In a corner blackened by smoke there is a niche and under it a hole which looks like a gully-hole for water. Bats hanging in disgusting bunches decorate the ceiling and an owl, upset by the light of a branch which James has lit to ensure they do not tread on scorpions or asps, complains by flapping its wadded wings and closing its ugly eyes which cannot bear the light. It is perched in the niche, and the foul smell of dead mice, of weasels and birds in decomposition at its feet is mixed with the stench of dung and of the damp soil.

«It is really a lovely place!» says Peter. «Your Tabor and your sea were much better, my boy!» And then addressing Jesus: «Master, satisfy Judas at once because this is not… Antipa’s royal hall!»

«Certainly. What is it that you want to know?» He asks Judas of Kerioth.

«Well… I would like to know whether and why Saul sinned coming here… I would like to know whether it is possible for a woman to evoke the dead. I would like to know whether… Oh! It is better if You speak. I will ask You questions.»

«It’s a long story. At least let us go out there, in the sunshine, on the stones… We will get away from the dampness and the stench» begs Peter.

And Jesus agrees. They sit as best they can on the ruins of the walls.

GRM 210.4 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

« (...) But excuse me! You wanted to go to that stinking cave at Endor, which you must agree did not belong to a holy cycle; don’t you think so? And they have come here where they say there is the blood and the ashes of saints. Endor brought us John and who knows…»

«What a handsome acquisition John is!» scoffs the Iscariot.

«His face isn’t, no. But in his soul he may be better than we are.»

«What? With his past!»

«Be quiet. The Master said that we are not to remember it.»

«Lovely! If I did any such things, I wonder whether you would not remember them!»

«Goodbye, Judas. You had better be by yourself. You are too cross. I wish I knew what is the matter with you!»

«What is the matter with me, Thomas? The trouble is that I see that we are being neglected to the advantage of strange newcomers. And I see that everybody is preferred to me. And I also notice how He waits until I am away to teach you how to pray. And do you expect me to be happy with such a situation?»

«No, I don’t. But may I point out that if you had come with us for the Passover Supper you would have been on the Mount of Olives as well with us, when the Master taught us the prayer. I do not see how we are neglected because of any strange newcomer. Are you referring to the poor innocent boy? Or because unhappy John is with us?»

«Because of both of them. Jesus hardly ever speaks to us now. Look at Him even now… He is loitering over there, talking and talking to the boy. He will have to wait a long time before He can put him among the disciples! And the other one will never be a disciple. He is too proud, too learned, too hardened, with bad tendencies. And yet: “John here, John there”…»

«Father Abraham, help me to bear this in patience!!! And in what do you think the Master prefers others to you?»

«Do you not see that even now? When it was time to leave Bethzur, after stopping to teach three shepherds who could have very well been taught by Isaac, whom does He leave with His mother? Me? you? No. He leaves Simon. An old man who can hardly speak!…»

«But the little he says is always said right» retorts Thomas, who is now alone because the women and Andrew have gone away and are walking fast in front of them as if they wished to get past a stretch of the road where the sun is very warm.

Detail

Judas is unhappy with the Master's behavior and criticizes the fact that they are going to worship at several of Israel's holy sites. Thomas then speaks up, recalling their trip to Endor, wanted by the Iscariot.

Annotation

You wanted to go into that stinking cavern of En-Dor: see EMV 188.