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Repentance and contrition

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GRM 182.4 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

That is how Satan behaves. He watches you to find out your weak points, he roams about you, he seems harmless and absent, concerned with something else whereas he is watching you, and then he suddenly leaps to induce you to sin, and sometimes he is successful.

But close to you there is a doctor and a compassionate spirit. God and your angel. If you are wounded, if you have been taken ill, do not go away from them, as a dog which has become rabid does. On the contrary, while weeping shout to them: “Help!”. God forgives those who repent and your angel is ready to implore God with you and for you.

GRM 188.7 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

They come out of the ruins and they begin to descend the path they had walked up previously. The man blind in one eye is still there.

«Are you still here?» asks Jesus pretending that He does not notice that his face is flushed because of the many tears he has shed.

«Yes, I am still here. I will follow You if You allow me. I have something to tell you…»

«Come with Me, then. What do you want to tell Me?»

«Jesus… I find that to have the strength to speak and to work the holy magic of changing myself, of conjuring up my dead soul as the necromancer evoked Samuel for Saul, I must pronounce Your Name, which is as sweet as Your eyes, and as holy as Your voice. You have given me a new life, but it lacks form and energy, like the life of a new-born baby after a difficult birth. It still struggles in the grip of wicked old habits. Help me to come out of my death.»

«Yes, My friend.»

«I… I have realised that there is still a little humanity in my heart. I am not entirely a beast, and I can still love and be loved, forgive and be forgiven. Your love, which is forgiveness, has taught me. Is it not so?»

«Yes, My friend.»

«Then… take me with You. I was Felix! What irony! But give me a new name. That my past may be really dead. I will follow You like a stray dog, which finally finds a master. I will be Your slave, if You wish so. But do not leave me alone…»

«Yes, My friend.»

«What name will You give me?»

«A name dear to Me: John. Because you are grace granted by God.»

«Will You take me with You?»

«Yes, for the time being. Later you will follow Me with My disciples. But what about your house?»

«I have no house any longer. I will leave what I have to the poor. Just give me love and bread.»

«Come.»

Detail

Example of a man who comes to Jesus after talking with him.

Annotation

Invoke my dead soul as the sorceress invoked Samuel for Saul: in the First Book of Samuel, chapter 28. Please refer to this note for further details.

My name was Felix: Felix is Latin for "happy".

GRM 197.2 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

«I feel like a stranger in the House of the Father… I have abandoned it for too long…»

«You are coming back to it led by the hand by Me Who am the Son of the Father. If I am taking you up to the altar, it means that I know that everything has been forgiven.»

John of Endor sobs deeply and says: «Thank You, my God.»

«Yes, thank the Most High. (...) You are Mine, you belong to God, you are a disciple and thus a future priest of your Lord in the new era and in the new religion, which will be called after Me. (...) »

GRM 199.4 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

They shout: «Jesus, our Saviour, have mercy on us!» and they stretch out their deformed or ulcerated hands. «Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on us!»

«What do you want Me to do for you?» asks Jesus looking towards their misery.

«We want You to save us from sin and from this disease.»

«Your will and repentance will save you from sin…»

«But if You wish, You can cancel our sins. At least those, if You do not want to cure our bodies.»

«If I say to You: “Choose either one or the other”, which one would you prefer?»

«God’s forgiveness, Lord. To be less desolate.»

Jesus has a gesture of approval. He smiles brightly, raises His arms and shouts: «Let it be granted. I want it.»

Granted! The grace might be granted for their sins, or for their disease, or for both, and the five unhappy people remain uncertain. But the apostles have no uncertainty and they can but shout their hosannas when they see the leprosy disappear as fast as a flake of snow that falls on a fire. The five then understand that the full grace has been granted to them. Their shouting resounds like a cry of victory. They embrace one another and throw kisses at Jesus, as they cannot prostrate themselves at His feet. They then turn to their companions saying: «And you still refuse to believe? What miserable wretches are you?»

«Good! Be good! Your poor brothers need time to think. Say nothing to them. Faith is not imposed, it is preached with peace, kindness, patience and perseverance. That is what you will do after your purification, exactly as Simon did with you. After all, the miracle preaches by itself. You who have been cured, will go to the priest as soon as possible. You, who are still ill, wait for us this evening. We will bring you some food. Peace be with you.»

Detail

Jesus went to see some lepers.

GRM 200.3 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

Aglae puts down the little bag she was carrying on her shoulder, then she kneels down at Jesus’ feet and bursts into tears. She prostrates herself on the floor, her head resting on her arms crossed on the floor.

«Do not weep thus. This is not the time for tears. You should have wept when you were hateful to God. Not now that you love Him and are loved by Him.»

But Aglae continues to weep…

«Do you not believe that it is so?»

She manages to speak through her sobs: «I love Him, it is true, as best I can… But although I know and believe that God is Bounty I cannot possibly hope to be loved by Him. I have sinned too much… Perhaps one day I will be loved… But I still have to weep so much… For the time being I am alone in my love. All alone… It is not desperate solitude of past years. It is a solitude full of longing for God, so it is no longer hopeless… but it is so sad…»

«Aglae, how little you still know the Lord! This longing for Him is the proof that God is replying to your love, that He is your friend, Who calls you, invites you and wants you. God is incapable of remaining insensitive to the desire of a creature, because He, the Lord and Creator of all creatures, excited that desire in that heart. He excited it because He loved with privileged love the soul that is now longing for Him. The desire of God always precedes the desire of the creature, because He is Most Perfect and therefore His love is by far more eager and ardent than the love of the creature.»

«But how can God love my filth?»

«Do not endeavour to understand with your intelligence. He is an abyss of mercy, which human intelligence cannot understand. But what the intelligence of man cannot understand, the intelligence of love, the love of the spirit does. It understands and confidently penetrates the mystery, which is God, and the mystery of the relationship of the soul with God. Enter, I tell you. Enter, because God wants it.»

«Oh! My Saviour! So I am really forgiven? I am really loved? Must I believe it?»

«Did I ever lie to you?»

«Oh! no, Lord! Everything You told me[1] at Hebron came true. You saved me because Your Name is salvation. You looked for me, a poor lost soul. You gave me the life of this soul, which I was carrying dead within me. You told me that if I had looked for You I would find You. And it was true. You told me that You are wherever man needs a doctor and medicine. And it is true. Everything, everything You told poor Aglae, from the words on that

morning in June, to the other words at the Clear Water…»

«So you must believe these too.»

«Yes, I believe, I do believe! But say to me: “I forgive you”!»

«I forgive you in the name of God and of Jesus.»

«Thank You…»

Detail

Aglaia, a former sinner, meets the Lord and weeps before him. Jesus speaks up and tells her not to weep.

Annotation

Everything you told me in Hebron has come true. In EMV 77.

GRM 205.3-7 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

«Listen. It is a beautiful parable that will guide you with its light in many cases.

A man had two sons. The elder was a serious, affectionate, obedient worker. The younger was more intelligent than his brother who was actually somewhat dull and preferred to be guided rather than tire himself making decisions by himself, but he was also rebellious, absent-minded, fond of luxury, pleasure loving, a squanderer and idle. Intelligence is a great gift of God. But it is a gift to be used wisely. Otherwise it is like certain medicines that, when taken in the wrong way, kill instead of curing. His father, as it was his right and duty, used to recall him to a more sensible life. But it was all in vain, the only result was that he answered back and became more obstinate in his wicked ideas.

Finally one day, after a fierce quarrel, the younger son said: “Give me my part of the estate. So I will no longer hear your reproaches and my brother’s complaints. Let each have his own and no more about it”. “Be careful” replied the father, “because you will soon be ruined. What will you do then? Consider that I will not be unfair to favour you and I will not take a farthing off your brother to give it to you”. “I will not ask you for anything. You may be sure. Give me my part”.

The father had the estate and valuables assessed, and since money and jewels were worth as much as the real estate, he gave the elder brother the fields and vineyards, the herds and olive-trees, and the younger one the money and jewels, which the young man changed immediately into money. And after doing that in a few days, he went to a distant country where he lived like a lord, squandering all his money on a life of debauchery, making people believe that he was the son of a king, because he was ashamed to admit that he was a countryman and thus he disowned his father. Banquets, friends, women, robes, wines, games… he led a loose life. He soon saw that his money was coming to an end and that poverty was in sight. And to make matters worse, the country experienced a severe famine, which compelled him to spend his last penny.

205.4

He would have liked to go back to his father. But he was proud and decided not to. So he went to a wealthy man of the country, a friend of his in his happy days, and he begged him saying: “Take me among your servants, remembering the days when you enjoyed my wealth”. See how foolish man is! He prefers the lash of a master rather than say to his father: “Forgive me. I made a mistake!”. The young man had learned many useless things with his bright intelligence, but he did not want to learn the saying of Ecclesiasticus: “How ill-famed is he who deserts his father and how accursed of the Lord is whoever angers his mother”. He was intelligent, but not wise.

The man that he turned to, in exchange for the grand time he had enjoyed with the foolish young man, sent him to look after his pigs, because it was a pagan country and there were many pigs. So he was sent to pasture the herds of pigs in the farm. Filthy, in rags, stinking and starving — food in fact was scarce for all the servants and particularly for the lowest ones and he, a foreign ridiculed herdsman of pigs was considered such — he saw the pigs glut themselves with acorns and sighed: “I wish I could fill my stomach with this fruit! But they are too bitter! Not even starvation can make them palatable”. And he wept remembering the sumptuous banquets when he acted the “grand seigneur” only a short while before, laughing, singing, dancing… and then he would think of the honest substantial meals at his far away home, of the portions his father used to make impartially for everybody, keeping for himself the smallest one, happy to see the healthy appetite of his and he remembered the helpings his just father gave the servants and he sighed: “My father’s servants, even the lowest, have plenty of bread… and I am dying here of starvation…”. A long meditation, a long struggle to subdue his pride…

205.5

At last the day came when his humility and wisdom revived and he got up and said: “I will go back to my father! This pride of mine is silly, as it deprives me of my freedom. And why? Why should I suffer in my body and even more in my heart when I can be forgiven and receive comfort? I will go back to my father. That is settled. And what shall I say to him? What has matured in my heart here, in this abjection, in this filth, suffering the pangs of hunger! I will say to him: ‘Father, I have sinned against Heaven and against you, I am no longer worthy of being called your son; treat me therefore as the least of your servants, but bear me to stay under your roof. That I may see you moving about… I cannot say to him: ‘… because I love you’. He would not believe me. But my behaviour will tell him and he will understand and before dying he will bless me once again… Oh! I hope so. Because my father loves me”. And when he went back to town in the evening he gave up his job and begging along the way he went back home. And he saw his father’s fields… and the house… and his father supervising the work… he was old, emaciated by grief but always kind and good… The guilty son seeing that ruin caused by him stopped frightened… but the father, looking around, saw him and ran to meet him, because he was still far away. And when he reached him, he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. Only the father had recognised his son in the dejected beggar and he was the only one to be moved with love.

The son, clasped in his father’s arms, with his head resting on his father’s shoulder, whispered sobbing: “Father, let me throw myself at your feet”. “No, son! Not at my feet. Rest on my heart, which has suffered so much because of your absence, and now needs to revive feeling your warmth on my chest”. And the son, crying louder, said: “Oh! father! I have sinned against Heaven and against you, I am no longer worthy to be called son by you. But allow me to live among your servants, under your roof, seeing you, eating your bread, serving you, and you will be the breath of my life. Every time I take a morsel of bread, every time you breathe, my heart, which is so corrupt, will change and I will become honest…”

But the father, embracing him all the time, led him towards the servants, who had gathered together watching in the distance and he said to them: “Quick, bring the best robe, and basins of scented water here, and wash him, spray him with scents, clothe him, put new sandals on his feet and a ring on his finger. Bring a fattened calf and kill it. And prepare a banquet. Because this son of mine was dead and has come back to life, he was lost and has been found. Now I want him to find the innocent love of a child once again, and my love and the celebration of the household for his return, must give it to him. He must realise that he is always my dear last-born child, as he was in his childhood a long time ago, when he used to toddle beside me making me happy with his smile and his prattling”. And the servants did so.

205.6

The elder son was out in the country and he did not know anything until his return. Coming towards the house in the evening, he saw that it was brightly lighted and he heard the sound of instruments and dancing coming from it. He called a servant who was bustling about and asked him: “What is happening?”. And the servant replied: “Your brother has come back! Your father had the fattened calf killed because his son has come back to him safe and cured of his wickedness and he ordered a celebration. They are only waiting for you to start”. But the first-born was angry because he thought that such a feast for his younger brother was unfair, as he was not only younger, but had also been wicked. And he did not want to go in, on the contrary he was about to walk away from the house.

But the father, informed of the situation, ran out and reached him and endeavoured to convince him, begging him not to spoil his joy. The elder brother replied to his father: “And you expect me not to be upset? You are unfair to your first-born and you hold him in contempt. I have served you since I was able to work, and I have done that for many years. I have never disobeyed an order of yours, not even a simple desire. I have always been near you, and I have loved you for two, to make you recover from the wound inflicted on you by my brother. And you have not even given me a lamb to have a feast with my friends. You are now honouring my brother and you have killed the best calf for him, who offended and abandoned you, and has been a lazy spendthrift and has now come back because he was driven by starvation. It is really worth while being a hard honest worker! You should not have done that to me”.

The father then, clasping him to his heart, said: “Son! Can you believe that I do not love you, because I do not celebrate your behaviour? Your deeds are holy by themselves, and the world praises you because of them. Your brother, instead, needs to be rehabilitated both in the eyes of the world and in his own. And do you think that I do not love you because I give you no visible prize? But day and night, in every moment of my life, you are present to my heart, and I bless you every moment. You have the continuous reward of being always with me, and what is mine is yours. But it was fair to have a feast, a celebration for your brother who was dead and has come back to good life, who was lost and has come back to our love”. And the first-born yielded to his father’s desire.

205.7

And that, My friends, is what happens in the House of the Father. And whoever feels that he is like the younger son of the parable must believe that if he imitates him in going to the Father, the Father will say to him: “Not at My feet. But rest on My heart, which has suffered because of your absence and is now happy because you have come back”. He who is in the situation of the first-born and without any fault against the Father, must not be jealous of the Father’s joy, but must take part in it and love the redeemed brother.»

Annotation

Book of Sirach 3, 16

Si 3, 16 : He is like a blasphemer who forsakes his father; he is cursed by the Lord who angers his mother.

Gospel of Luke 15, 11-32

Lk 15, 11-32 : Jesus said: "A man had two sons. The younger said to his father, "Father, give me my share of fortune." And the father divided his property between them. A few days later, the younger son gathered up everything he had and left for a distant country, where he squandered his fortune by living a life of disorder. He had spent it all, when a great famine occurred in that country, and he began to find himself in need. He went to work for a local, who sent him to his fields to tend the pigs. He would have liked to fill his belly with the pods eaten by the pigs, but no one would give him anything.

So he turned inward and said to himself: "How many of my father's workers have plenty of bread, and I'm starving here! I'll get up, go to my father and tell him: Father, I've sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your workers." He got up and went to his father. While he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was seized with compassion; he ran to throw himself around his neck and covered him with kisses. The son said to him: "Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son." But the father said to his servants, "Quickly, bring the finest garment to clothe him in, put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet, fetch the fatted calf, kill it, let's eat and feast, for my son here was dead, and has come back to life; he was lost, and is found." And they began to feast.

Now the eldest son was out in the fields. When he returned and was near the house, he heard the music and dancing. Calling one of the servants, he asked what was going on. The servant replied, "Your brother has arrived, and your father has killed the fatted calf, because he has found your brother in good health." Then the eldest son became angry, and refused to enter. His father went out to beg him. But he replied to his father: "I've been in your service for so many years without ever transgressing your orders, and you've never given me a kid to feast on with my friends. But, when your son here returned after devouring your property with harlots, you had the fatted calf killed for him!" The father replied, "You, my child, are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. You should have feasted and rejoiced; for your brother here was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found!""

GRM 206.5 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

One must always keep the dress clean through humility. It is so easy to dim the purity of the heart. And those

whose hearts are not pure cannot see God. Humility is like water that washes. A humble man soon notices that he has darkened his robe, because his eyes are not dimmed by the fumes of pride and thus he runs to his Lord and says: “I have stained the purity of my heart. I weep at Your feet to be cleansed. Oh! my Sun, purify my heart through Your benign forgiveness and Your paternal love!”

Detail

Jesus tells the parable of the ten virgins and points out that they have clean clothes.

GRM 208.2-3 · Volume 3

The Gospel as revealed to me

Quotation

«There are no orphans in Heaven. We have God. And God is everything. We are not orphans here either. Because the Father is always with us.»

«But Jesus in that lovely prayer, which You teach me by day and my mother at night, says: “Our Father Who are in Heaven”. We are not in Heaven yet. Therefore, how can we be with Him?»

«Because God is everywhere, son. He watches over the baby that is born and over the old man who is dying. The child who is born this moment, in the most remote part of the world, has God’s love and eye with him and will have them until he dies.»

«Even if he is as bad as Doras?»

«Yes.»

«But can God, Who is so good, love Doras who is so bad and makes my old father weep?»

«He looks at him with disdain and sorrow. But if he should repent. He would say to him what the father of the parable said to his repentant son.

208.3

You should pray that he may repent and…»

«Oh! no, Mother! I will pray that he may die!!!» says the child impetuously. Although his remark is not very… angelical, his impetuosity is so sincere that no one can help laughing.

Mary then resumes the sweet seriousness of a Teacher: «No, My dear. You must not do that to a sinner. God would not listen to you and would look sternly at you as well. We must wish our neighbour the greatest welfare, even if our neighbour is very bad. Life is a good thing because it gives man the possibility of gaining merits in the eyes of God.»

«But if one is bad, one gains sins.»

«We pray that he may become good.»

The boy is pensive… but he does not like this sublime lesson (...).